Saturday, April 19, 2008

EJ Clip on Hulu



It's April 16th when Jawn tells EJ about Sami's jealousy of Nicole.

There's also a good shot of EJ's assets in this clip.

For Better or Worse

Having secretly married Sami in Vegas, Evil EJ catches her alone after the Lumi Green Wedding reception.

Sami (shocked): "What-what are you doing here, EJ?"

Evil EJ (insulted): "It's certainly not to be punched in the face again."

Sami (anrgy): "I'm married to Lucas!"

Evil EJ (not caring): "Of course you are, darling, and I allowed it to make you happy by making your family happy. But you're coming home with me."

Evil EJ takes Sami by the arm and hauls her off.

Try the Game of Trust

Later that day, after the twins have been put to sleep, EJ and Sami are both lying underneath the covers of their bed. EJ is resting on his side as Sami is quietly reading Allure and surreptitiously watching her husband. Unable to stand it any longer, EJ finally relents and turns back towards his wife.

EJ (drawing out the syllables as he pushes a pillow away): “Sa-man-tha.”

Sami (pretending): “I’m sorry. Did I wake you?”

EJ (scoffing): “I wish. How am I possibly supposed to fall asleep with you staring at me?”

Sami (holding up her visual aid): “No, I wasn’t. I was reading.”

EJ (dryly): “Of course you were, which is why you haven’t moved on from that photo spread for the last twenty minutes. Sweetheart, what ever happened to not making me do anything?”

Sami (tossing the magazine onto the nightstand): “I haven’t done anything.”

EJ (raising an eyebrow): “Studying me like some sort of science experiment isn’t anything?”

Sami (insulted): “I’m waiting, EJ.”

EJ (disagreeing): “No, you are prompting. You want me to react to you.”

Sami (resolute): “No, I am waiting. For you to want to tell me, just like we agreed.”

Hearing her words, EJ considers Sami.

EJ (moving his hand to play with her hair): “Okay.”

Sami (confused): “Okay?”

EJ (smiling): “You win.”

Sami (surprised): “I do?”

EJ (confirming): “Yes.”

Sami (excited): “Really?”

EJ (chuckling): “Yes, really. You know how hard it is for me to say no to you.”

Sami (proud): “Because I’m irresistible.”

EJ (agreeing): “You are. But talking about my childhood is very difficult for me, and I would appreciate if you kept that in mind, eh?”

Sami (sincerely): “I understand, EJ.”

Her agreement obtained, EJ sinks back into the bed and closes his eyes for a moment before opening them again.

EJ (looking at her for guidance): “I’m not sure where to start, really.”

Sami (taking his hand): “Anything is fine.”

EJ (nodding slightly): “All right.”

EJ (seriously): “This was when I was younger. We were sitting in my room. My father, and I, I mean. Anyway, we were on the floor, and it was my turn. He kept looking at me, watching me. There was so much pressure. I knew I couldn’t disappoint him. So I made my decision and took action. Unfortunately, it was for naught. The result was clear, and there was no avoiding it. I was stuck in the molasses swamp.”

Realizing what he is talking about, Sami’s jaw drops, and she hits EJ with a nearby pillow.

Sami (laughing): “You ingrate!”

EJ (mock seriously): “And even now every time I pour syrup, I flashback to that horrifying afternoon.”

Sami (shaking her head): “You did not play Candy Land with Stefano.”

EJ (pretending to wonder): “Did I? You’ll never know.”

Sami (giggling): “Oh, come on! Tell me something that really happened.”

EJ (propping himself up with one elbow as he points): “Samantha, you don’t want something. You want the ghastly tale of how innocent young Elvis was tortured by his wicked father. And not only was it not like that, but it’d take years to explain to you what being raised as a DiMera actually means.”

Sami (annoyed): “It’s not like I was planning on going anywhere.”

EJ (wryly): “Of course not. But you have a very creative mind, darling. So why don’t you amuse yourself? I’m certain whatever you could imagine would be better than anything I could tell you.”

Sami (agreeing): “I’m sure it would be better. That’s the problem.”

EJ (irritated): “Only because you insist on making it one. You keep nagging me about this, and I’ll fake some more memories.”

Knowing that EJ would make good on his threat, Sami moves closer to him.

Sami (stroking his arm): “Why can’t you talk about it?”

EJ (throwing up his hands): “Why would I talk about it?”

Sami (imploring): “We can go slowly. You need to share this with me, EJ.”

EJ (gesturing broadly): “Why?”

Sami (worried): “So you feel better.”

EJ (exasperated): “I already do.”

Still stalemated, husband and wife stare at each other.

EJ (declaring): “My dear, I’ll do you a deal. How about we skip the reminiscing and go right to the comforting part, eh?”

Seizing the initiative, EJ moves closer to Sami and, before she can object, places his hands on her chest and thigh.

Sami (enjoying the attention): “I can see right through this transparent plan to distract me, EJ.”

EJ (nuzzling the back of her neck): “Yet it’s still working.”

Sami (seeing she’s getting nowhere with him): “All right, all right. No more prompting.”

EJ (moving his head to kiss her on the side of hers): “Damn right no more prompting.”

Sami (laughing as she returns his affection): “Just let me know when you’re ready, okay?”

EJ (certain): “I will…because that day is never going to come.”

Wednesday, April 16th, 2008



“She couldn't sleep. I sing to her.” You know, show, if you’re just going to tell me about this instead of showing me, you really don’t need to bother. I can imagine stuff like this just fine. And Sami, you selfish bitch. EJ’s the one with the job, yet you pawn caring for your daughter off to him and then berate him loving her? Seriously.



“And then I'm still living in this creepy house with the next generation of the evilest family to ever hit Salem.” Isn’t it great? I’ve wanted this for you for years. And it’s a mansion, Sami.



“Elvis and I may be evil DiMeras,” I still don’t like you, John, but do I admit you suck less as Jawn, and major props for getting on the “Let’s call EJ Elvis” bandwagon. See who else you can convince for me.



“She definitely is a low-life slut who's never met a man or a wallet she didn't like. What? It's true.” I heartily endorse the disapproving look EJ gives Sami here. See, Sami, you are Mrs. Elvis DiMera now, and she’s a classy woman. Refined ladies insult with more finesse. Did you see how Gray EJ degraded Nicole twice yesterday? Do it like that.



“You're a resourceful attorney.” Jawn, we already have one incest couple on the show. No more hitting on Intellectual EJ please.



Wake the sleeping giant
Wake the beast



“Samantha, we are through talking about this. I am taking the case” and “I'm the head of my family.” Oh, yeah. You put your woman in her place, EJ. I also liked how you wanted to take off with your wife and kids, and Sami actually cares about you providing for your family and not living off of her imaginary savings like with all her other loser significant others since she fought you on it.



All is not as it seems…aka fill in the holes in the story yourself, kiddies. I know I do. You want to read into the chess moves; be my guest. All I know is that neither Stefano’s nor EJ’s playing with that thing amounted to jack.



“I'd really rather you stop messing with my head.” No, that’s you, Sami. You like being married to the next generation of evil DiMera, don’t you?



“Never say I don't look out for my family.” I thought this entire EJ and John exchange was worded poorly except for this line, but hey, it establishes that Sami doesn’t want to share EJ with anyone, so whatever.

Grade: Nice. The structure could use a little work, but I loved the evil tone of this episode with the insensitive Ejami interaction over Nicole, and we even got a decent pop culture reference joke. But hands down the best part of this was basking in the harsh glow of the Evil EJ glares. He’s still in there. I hope he comes out to play. Evil EJ/Gray EJ A, Sami A-, Jawn B+.

Tuesday, April 15th, 2008



Hey, Days? This is the exact opposite of what I want to see on the show.



Why don’t we see EJ’s side of the convo like we normally do? Because they’d actually have to show his bedroom in the DiMansion and with the set crunch, he doesn’t have one. Yet another lost opportunity.



“ I still can't believe he's even a real lawyer.” Actually as far as retcons go, this is a very reasonable one.
“He's real all right. I checked him out online. He graduated from Cambridge with top honors.” Of course he did. So it’s decided then. EJ majored in history at Oxford for his undergrad and then went to Cambridge Law School.
“Was that before or after he was a famous racecar driver?” Look, Philip, TPTB wanted EJ as the new Stefano. Originally there was never any intent to develop his character beyond being the Son of the Phoenix. Just go with it.



“It seems to be a bit of a trend with you, doesn't it?” “Whether or not this woman is or is not the biggest pain that any man had the misfortune to ever stumble across does not affect her rights.” Insults? And calling Philip “Big Man” and “my boy” dismissively? Someone needs to wake you up in the middle of the night more often, EJ. And I approve of the dark gray outfit.

Grade: Gray EJ A-, Phicole B+. I’m still a Phloer, but Phicole is officially my Philip backup plan over Phorgan now. And Days gets an F for no Sleepy Bedhead EJ.

How Are You Going to Fix It?

After finishing her coffee and giving herself plenty of time to calm down, Sami gets up from the kitchen table and slowly makes her way to the sitting room, fully expecting her husband to be engaged in one of his favorite activities. She is not disappointed as EJ is sitting on the couch, pouring over both the Salem Spectator and The Wall Street Journal. He puts down the section he’s been reading as Sami enters the room.

EJ (frustrated as he sees the look on her face): “You didn’t come to apologize, did you, darling?”

Sami (honestly as she stands in the doorway): “I don’t think I should be the one saying I’m sorry.”

Sami (relinquishing): “If you don’t want to talk to me, EJ, you don’t have to. I mean, it’s not like I’m trained to handle this sort of thing anyway. You can see a specialist.”

EJ (rolling his eyes): “I am not talking about my childhood to your mother.”

Sami (walking over to him): “I didn’t mean my mother, and you know that.”

EJ (harshly as he gestures): “Indeed. Well, the world of professional help is vast, sweetheart, so which school of thought should we go with, eh? Freud? Jung? How about the pop psychology route that’s so popular? ‘I’m okay, you’re okay, we’re all okay?’ Or ‘I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me?’ Better yet, we could save ourselves both some time and just watch ‘Good Will Hunting.’”

Sami (shaking her head at him): “Be serious, EJ.”

EJ (folding his arms across his chest): “Fine. If I contented to this, you’d speak to your mother. She would refer me to a specialist who, after evaluating me and considering the nature of the trauma, could conceivably send me to a child psychologist regardless of my actual age. And after years of sobbing while diagramming with blocks and play acting with puppets what happened to me, I’d finally be deemed recovered after wasting countless hours of my life, not to mention thousands upon thousands of dollars.”

Outmatched by his bluntness, Sami stares EJ in disgust.

Sami (annoyed): “Why do you have to be so intelligent?”

EJ (smirking): “To better combat you, my dear.”

Before she can come back with a retort, EJ abruptly takes Sami’s left arm and gently pulls her down to sit beside him.

EJ (quietly as he changes his tone): “Look, Samantha, I know what you’re trying to do here, but it’s not that simple.”

Sami (imploring): “No, you don’t. I’m trying to help you.”

EJ (furrowing his brow): “I know that.”

Sami (pressing): “No, you don’t. You don’t want to talk about how Stefano raised you because you don’t want to think about it.”

EJ (completely disagreeing): “No, because it’s irrelevant.”

EJ (staring down at the floor): “I know what my father did to me, Samantha. I spent most of my life trying to be the son he wanted, trying to make him happy. But that’s all in the past. It’s all over.”

EJ (moving his head back to look at her again): “And now I have you and our children. I can make them happy. I can make you happy.”

Sami (asking the obvious): “And what about you?”

EJ (confused): “Making you happy makes me happy.”

Sami (exasperated): “That can’t be it, EJ.”

EJ (annoyed): “Why would it be anything else?”

Sami (insistent): “You have to want more than that. More for yourself.”

EJ (waving his hand): “And that would be what, exactly? You are what I want. This is what I want. This is all I’ve ever wanted.”

Sami waits for her husband to see the fallacy in his declaration. When he merely watches her instead, she shakes her head again at EJ.

Sami (purposefully): “Just because you’re not cooperating doesn’t mean I’m giving up.”

EJ (just as firmly): “There is no way I am seeing a specialist or psychiatrist or a psychologist or any other kind of therapist.”

Sami (accepting): “Fine. But you need to talk about it, EJ. About everything.”

With the imperative given, Sami surprises herself with her resolve. Could he handle it if she forced him to further delve into what he should have never had to endure? Could she?

EJ (simply): “I don’t need to do anything. I’m fine.”

Sami (uncomfortably): “No, you aren’t.”

EJ (surprising her): “Okay, I’m not.”

EJ (tilting his head): “Because I am my father’s son…whether I want to be or not.”

Sami (puzzled): “But you aren’t. You’re nothing like him.”

EJ (smiling halfheartedly): “That’s a nice story. Sometimes I like to believe it myself. But I am. And I’m not. Both at the same time…which is understandable because this is not normal in any sense.”

EJ swallows hard and looks at Sami apologetically.

EJ (cautiously): “In…asking me to tell you about my past, there’s something you’ve overlooked.”

Sami (wondering): “Which is?”

EJ (sadly): “Samantha…you presume I want to be fixed.”

Sami’s eyes widen as complete and utter surprise ripples across her face.

EJ (continuing): “Remember not so long ago when you called me strange? I told you then that I preferred unique. I know I’m not normal, sweetheart.”

Sami (not liking where this is going): “What do you mean you’re not normal? Of course you are.”

EJ (dryly as he shakes his head): “I hate to break it you, darling, but being raised as a weapon in order to carry out a decades old vendetta against an opposing lineage is not exactly a typical background.”

Sami (defending him): “So? It’s not that weird compared to everything else in this town. Everyone has problems.”

EJ (agreeing): “Exactly. Everyone has issues. Mine are different than most. And they define me. If I hadn’t been raised by my father, I wouldn’t be who I am. I’ve made more than my share of mistakes, which you know better than anyone, but I am that man. And I like who I am.”

Sami (trying to understand his position): “You’re afraid? Of remembering your past?”

EJ (narrowing his eyes at her): “Hardly.”

Sami (challenging): “I know your nightmares scare you, EJ.”

EJ (pointing dismissively): “Bad dreams are exactly that, bad dreams. Don’t tell me you’ve never been terrified by anything you’ve dreamt.’

Sami (raising an eyebrow): “That’s not a good comparison.”

EJ (not accepting): “No, it is. So as for my actual memories, and not the utter nonsense my unconscious mind comes up with, I think about them the same way I think about the capital of Spain and the square root of two. I know what they are, but I don’t dwell on them. Remembering living under my father doesn’t hurt me. What…frightens me is trying to make any more sense out of those memories than I already have. To find some sort of meaning beyond…to come that epiphany you want me to have. Because if I do, I’ll cease to be who I am.”

EJ takes Sami’s right hand in his and leans forward.

EJ (softly): “I don’t want to be anyone else, sweetheart. I know you want me to find some sort of internal healing through all of this, and that’s fine for regular people, but I…I cannot be them. I don’t want to be.”

Sami (taken aback by his reasoning): “What do you mean by regular people? What does that have to do with anything?”

EJ (worried): “It has everything to do with it. That’s why you asked me to talk about what it meant to be raised as a DiMera in the first place. You want to rearrange the puzzle pieces of my psyche into something else, something social norms consider healthier, whatever that supposedly is. You want me to fit your definition of better, and then I’ll be changed.”

Sami (encouraging): “You’ll still be you, EJ. You just won’t have to carry all that pain around inside you anymore. How can you being happy possibly be a bad thing?”

EJ (anxious): “I’m already blissfully happy with you, Samantha. But clearly you’re not if you need me to change.”

Sami (reassuring): “I chose you, EJ. I don’t want to be with anyone else.”

EJ (pleading): “But that’s what you’re asking of me.”

EJ (openly): “I’ll do anything for you, Samantha. I’ll even do this if I have to…but I don’t want to. Please don’t make me.”

As EJ tightens his grip on her hand, Sami wavers at the dread in his eyes.

Sami (instantly): “Okay.”

EJ (endlessly grateful): “Thank you.”

The matter resolved, EJ leans backward and visibly relaxes. Sami waits until he is comfortable before speaking again.

Sami (deciding): “I’ll wait until you want to.”

EJ (surprised and irritated): “I’m never going to want to.”

Sami (smiling): “I don’t think so.”

EJ (chuckling in spite of himself): “I know so.”

Sami (slyly): “Well, I guess we’ll just have to see who’s right then.”

EJ (amused): “Yes, shall we?”

Sami (equally amused): “Let’s.”

As they sit side by side, EJ and Sami regard each other and wonder which one of them will break first.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Are You Patient and Understanding?

Having already taken care of the twins and ensuring that no one else would bother them, Sami sits at the kitchen table drinking her coffee in the late morning. Upon EJ’s entrance into the room, she greets him with a smile, ready and waiting for the understanding and reassurance that she would surely have to give. Seeing the still warm breakfast she had thoughtfully prepared for him, EJ sits down at the table across from Sami.

EJ (easily returning her smile): “Your turn.”

Sami looks at EJ uncomprehendingly.

EJ (eyes lighting up): “Regale me with the horrific tale of how Marlena and Roman chained you in their basement and forced you to survive on a diet of cupcakes.”

Dumfounded at the remark, Sami nearly chokes on her drink. The events of several hours ago fresh in her mind, she stares back at her smirking husband.

Sami (tentatively): “EJ…you…you remember what happened last night, right?”

EJ (drinking his orange juice): “Indeed, darling. Not much of an allusion otherwise.”

Sami (immediately): “That’s not funny, EJ.”

EJ (mock innocently): “Really?”

Sami (admonishingly): “Yes, really. You shouldn’t think so either.”

EJ (offhandedly): “Along with so many other things I should not think or do…I suppose I could grant you it’s also mildly disturbing, but what do you expect at this time in the morning? High quality material is a bit hard to come by on an empty stomach, eh?”

Blindsided by his flippant demeanor, Sami takes a moment to think as she watches EJ eat. This was the same man she had to hold in her arms until he was able to fall asleep?

Sami (stunned): “How can you possibly joke about this?”

EJ (pretending to think): “Let’s see…because I actually got the best rest I’ve had all week due to you letting me sleep in. Also, I bet that was a lot of work for my father, more so than if he had simply bothered to help me study. Finally, now that I told you, you can stop nagging me about it.”

Sami just stares at EJ incredulously.

Sami (knowing she’s asking a stupid question): “That’s not everything about the flashcards, is it?”

EJ (shrugging): “Of course not.”

Sami waits for EJ to elaborate, and when he doesn’t, speaks again.

Sami (sympathetically): “How did you deal with that?”

EJ (raising his eyebrow): “It’s not as if I had much of a choice, sweetheart. And life with my father wasn’t really like that. Not really. Most of the time was not that involved.”

Sami (noticing the qualifier): “Most?”

EJ (correcting himself): “Almost all.”

Sami (leaning forward): “EJ, don’t try to tell me that was some isolated incident.”

EJ (out of his hands): “I admit sometimes Father was…difficult.”

Sami (not buying it): “Difficult? Try insane.”

EJ (giving in): “All right, insane. Should he have done that to me? No, I suppose not.”

Sami (taken aback): “You suppose?”

EJ (explaining as he points): “Samantha, we both know he’s not a man who takes no for an answer. He wanted me to be strong. How else was I supposed to learn? I needed to be able to recall all of that information instantly, and I needed to be able to withstand anything that my enemies would throw at me.”

Sami (frowning): “Us.”

EJ (nodding): “Exactly.”

Sami (imploring): “That was anything but all right, EJ. He never should have done that to you.”

EJ (mostly agreeing): “No, but I know why he did it. And in any case it is in the past where it belongs along with everything else about my upbringing. I didn’t want to talk about any of it, but I relinquished when you insisted. I shared. And now that I have, unless there’s anything you’d like to tell me about your childhood, I’m not really in the mood to dwell on it, if you don’t mind.”

Sami considers EJ as he happily eats his breakfast.

Sami (backing off): “Okay. You’re right. We don’t need to talk about this anymore.”

EJ (smiling as he bites into a piece of toast): “Excellent.”

Several moments pass before EJ’s expression changes as he realizes what Sami meant but didn’t say.

EJ (annoyed): “You mean not now, don’t you. As in we will discuss this later.”

Unsure of both how to proceed and even whether she should, Sami speaks directly.

Sami (concerned): “I’m worried about you, EJ.”

EJ (dismissive): “You needn’t be. I’m fine.”

Sami (pleading): “You weren’t fine last night.”

EJ (irritated): “Only because you insisted we talk about the ancient past.”

Sami (uncomfortably): “You were reliving it. As if you were there.”

EJ (different interpretation): “No, I was confused because I was exhausted from sleeping on this sorry excuse for a table. I was…asleep and awake at the same time. You were very sweet to me, and I thank you for that. I’m sorry I frightened you.”

Sami (honestly): “I know you are.”

EJ (insistent): “But there’s no need to talk about this any longer. I’m fine, so there’s no reason for you to worry. Can we please just drop this?”

Sami (very reluctantly): “Okay.”

EJ (nodding slightly): “Thank you. I appreciate it. I know you mean well, darling.”

Sami (narrowing her eyes): “Don’t condescend to me, EJ.”

EJ (firing back): “Then don’t patronize me, Samantha. I’m not some little child who needs to be comforted.”

Sami (more harshly than she intended): “Oh, really? You were last night.”

EJ (defensive as his eyes blaze) “I was tired.”

EJ (insinuating): “You don’t think you ever not made any sense to me? You’re a complete mess without your morning coffee there, fumbling around and stumbling into walls like some sort of plant zombie tripping on her own vines.”

Sami (insulted): “That’s not the same thing, and you know it. You’re having nightmares, and-”

EJ (interrupting as he gestures): “Which I only have because you keep pushing the inane idea that this is somehow a fruitful endeavor.”

Sami (challenging): “Quit hiding from me.”

EJ (adamant): “I’m right here.”

EJ and Sami glare at each other across the kitchen table. Drawn to the intensity in his gaze, Sami is surprised when EJ is the one to back down first.

EJ (looking down at his almost empty plate): “I refuse to argue about this. There’s nothing else to say.”

Quicker than she expected, EJ gets up and puts his plate, glass, and silverware into the sink before he moves to enter the hallway off of the kitchen.

EJ (civilly): “Thank you for breakfast. Enjoy your day, my dear.”

Sami (softening): “EJ? EJ, wait-”

EJ doesn’t look back at her as he leaves. Once her husband is gone, Sami leans back in her chair and sighs.

Sami (torn): “A stubborn little child.”

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Yet Another Ejami Clip on Hulu



It's April 10th where Sami throws a drink in Nicole's face in front of EJ.

You're No Gray EJ



"Senator, I opened boxes with Gray EJ. I knew Gray EJ. Gray EJ was a friend of mine. Senator, that was no Gray EJ."



As we can unmistakably see from this chart of his attributes, EJ’s morality is independent of his tenacity. He can be good and strong, good and weak, evil and strong, or evil and weak as they are mutually exclusive traits.

The EJ we saw on Thursday settled down Nicole and Sami in order to avoid a scene, quietly listened to Sami talk about Eric, and nicely threatened Nicole. He was both good and strong as threatening those who menace his Samantha and possessing a backbone are not inherently evil traits but strength based attributes. He was a good guy with an edge, and looking over the possible EJ personalities in existence, there’s only one conclusion we can draw. The only EJ who fits both of those attributes is Summer EJ.



Summer EJ avoided public scenes with his Samantha and also pushed her when need be.



Summer EJ also threatened anyone who could do his Samantha harm:

EJ: “Listen, Austin, you're getting one hell of a wife.”
Dallas: “I know.”
EJ: “Treat her right. I will be watching you.”

Therefore, Summer EJ has clearly returned.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Thursday, April 10th, 2008



“I got my degree from Cambridge University.” And last week with Immigration Dude it was Oxford. What’s next, the University of Phoenix? The School of Hard Knocks? A box of Cracker Jacks?



“You wouldn't know a decent wardrobe if it hit you in the face.”
“Porn-star collection? You're gonna need the jaws of life to get yourself out of that number.”
“How about that time I threw a drink in your face?”

Hey, it’s Sami! Haven’t seen her in a while. Has she been visiting Eric for the past year and a half?



“Young lady, you're not gonna get very far with me if you tell my wife to zip it.”
“If you have any interest in persuading me to take your case, you can stop insulting my wife.”
“If you do anything else to jeopardize my relationship with Samantha, you are gonna be looking for a new attorney.”

*sigh*

You got my hopes up yesterday, EJ, you really did. Then today, shades of gray, my butt. No such luck. Instead we get Summer 2006 EJ! Watch Summer EJ settle down Nicole and Sami in order to avoid a scene! Watch Summer EJ quietly listen to Sami talk about Eric! Watch Summer EJ nicely threaten Nicole! Now, don’t get me wrong, I like Summer EJ, and I infinitely prefer him to Pansy EJ, but still…the goodness. We’re going to have to do something about that. AND WHERE ARE MY JOKES?!



I zoned out here and instead imagined Evil EJ coming out and repeatedly backhanding Nicole across the face. Summer EJ seems to be doing the same thing.

The Grade: B. Did I like it? Yes. But the reversion to Old Sami with Summer EJ dynamic did throw me. Wonder if we’re going to keep going with this…

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Wednesday, April 9th, 2008



“I don't hate, Lucas.” Of course not. You just strongly dislike him.
“It's not like Lucas is coming home anytime soon.” If only, Sami. If only.



“And, um, who are you?”
“EJ DiMera.” So “Wells” with Mickey was just a slip. Good. And I liked EJ’s interaction with Nicole here. He was civil, but nothing more.



“Fate implies a certain lack of control over one's destiny.”
“Let's just take things one step at a time, shall we?”
“I know there's a part of you that still hates me.”
“She obviously gets under your skin. I'd like to know why.”

Someone had his V-8 this morning, didn’t he? Finally, the wheels are turning once more, and EJ’s starting to angle again. About time.



“Hello? Hello? Man, I hope that wasn’t the Austrian Secret Police checking to see if I was here in order to come and take me away.”
“Damn it! You people are quicker than Domino’s!”

The Grade: Honestly, the big selling point of this episode was EJ waking up out of the goodness induced stupor he’s been stuck in, not the actual Ejami scene so much as it was relatively short. Depansifying EJ A, Ejami B.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

My Heart Is Damaged

A few hours later that same night, Sami opens her eyes only to see that her husband still hasn’t come back to bed. Worried, she makes her way once again to the kitchen to find EJ stretched across the table in front of him, sleeping at an odd angle. She moves to wake him.

Sami (lightly touching his shoulder): “EJ..EJ.”

EJ continues to sleep.

Sami (shaking him a bit more): “EJ. Come on, EJ.”

EJ still doesn’t respond.

Sami (going with the sudden inspiration): “Elvis.”

At the mention of his given name, EJ bolts upright in his chair. Apologetic for startling her husband, Sami backs away from him.

Sami (concerned): “I’m sorry I had to wake you, EJ, but you really shouldn’t be sleeping like this. It’s not good for your ba-”

Sami cuts herself off and her face falls as she sees EJ’s haunted and bleary-eyed expression stare back at her. His sleep had been anything but restful.

EJ (bluntly): “Storage chest.”

Sami (surprised): “What?”

EJ (too quickly): “I didn’t want to, but Father insisted.”

Sami (confused): “You didn’t want to what?”

EJ (lost in his memory): “No, Elvis, that is not Hope Brady’s favorite beverage, and I should know because last time I got it wrong because it is an easy question because if you’d studied harder I wouldn’t have to punish you, Elvis, your fault I had to strike again why can’t you remember?”

Sami (piecing it together): “The flashcards…when you got the answer wrong. He…”

Alarmed, Sami trails off and is unable to say the rest.

EJ (nodding and rubbing his upper left arm): “I was. I had to be in there. But not by myself quiet-shhh, let it work.”

Watching his right hand move, Sami’s eyes widen as she realizes what EJ is describing.

EJ (as if he’s told her before): “It was better then. Before the shadows were wrong because the shapes didn’t match. And I told Father that the first time, and-and he said he understood, so he told me he’d make it easier. I could because the needle not so much. Not so hard then. It was better. He promised me, and it was better. I could be then. I was okay.”

EJ twists and rolls his head to the side before he continues.

EJ (incoherently): “He helped. So I had to help too. Needed to help-I needed to be-he wanted because Father needed me to be what he wanted I what it was to pay attention because I had to and I did because.”

Attempting to follow EJ’s garbled reasoning, Sami’s concentration falls away to a spike of horror as a smile suddenly spreads across her husband’s face.

EJ (proud): “And I am.”

EJ (reassuring himself): “Because I am a good boy. I am a good boy. I am a good boy.”

And with the declaration announced, Sami glimpses how deep her husband’s conditioning had been and how intractable it would be to remove, how the immense strength that EJ possessed had come at the expense of years of scarring by an individual who had no compassion for anyone but himself. Staring at her husband talk to himself, Sami could not help but feel dread grow across her. She had been the one who insisted he open a door that perhaps should have remained closed. Not knowing what else to do, she moves to EJ and wraps her arms around his right limb.

Sami (matching his genuine smile with a false one of her own): “You’re tired. Let’s go to bed.”

At her command, EJ looks at Sami openly, searching her eyes.

EJ (needing her to understand): “Samantha…I am a good boy. I am.”

Sami (reassuringly): “Yes, I know. I know.”

Drained, EJ lets Sami help him up, lead him out of the kitchen to their bedroom, and get under the covers. Sami follows him beneath the blankets and immediately moves to hold him gently as he begins to recite his promise to himself. EJ repeats his mantra until he falls asleep, and once the silence finally settles around her, Sami swallows nervously.

Sami (whispering): “What have I done?”

It's The Home Improvement Place!

EJ (grabbing his coat): "Well, I'm off to Lowe's."

Carpe (coming over and grabbing onto his arm): "Oh, that sounds fun!"

EJ (raising an eyebrow): "Darling, may I point out you don't know a screwdriver from an Allen wrench."

Carpe (looking into his eyes): "I fail to see how that's relevant."

Friday, April 4, 2008

I Wouldn't Want to Hurt His Feelings

Good EJ and Carpe are standing next to each other.

Carpe (reluctantly): “So what inane-I mean, lovely, plans do you have for us today?

Good EJ (pleased): “Well, I was thinking we could take a walk in the park, and then go to the flower expo at the Salem Civic Center. After our day there, we can come back here and cuddle up together while we watch the Lifetime Movie Network.”

Carpe (catching herself): “That sounds st-wonderful. Hey, could you get my coat for me?”

Good EJ (nodding): “Sure, darling.”

As soon as Good EJ is out of the room, Carpe takes a tranquilizer gun out of a nearby cabinet, adjusts the settings, and shoots herself with it. She rehides the weapon before Good EJ comes back.

Carpe (nicer): “I’m ready to go when you are.”

Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measures



Determined to save her favorite Days character, Carpe takes matters into her own hands. She time travels back to April 2nd, 2007 and rushes to find Evil EJ after he calls Lucas at University Hospital.



Carpe (pointing): "There you are!"

Evil EJ (raising an eyebrow): "Do I know you?"

Carpe (explaining): "I'm Carpe-you know, your funny videos editor?"

Evil EJ (recalling): "Ah, yes. It's not time for another one, is it?"

Carpe (shaking her head): "No, not that. I know this is hard to believe, but I'm from the future, and I have something I have to show you. And you're not going to like it."

Carpe pulls out her portable DVD player and shows the April 2nd, 2008 episode to Evil EJ.

Evil EJ (wondering): "Samantha and I are married? So we actually wed in Vegas?"

Carpe (considering): "Uh, no, but that's besides the point. Just keep watching."

Evil EJ's expression changes to one of shock and pure anger as he finishes watching today's show.

Evil EJ (enraged): "Changed man?!! What do I mean I don't want anything to do with my father? I don't have any money? And why am I just standing around while John is making all the jokes?!"

Carpe (throwing her hands up): "I KNOW! You're a total wuss! We have to stop this! Come with me!"

Frantic, Carpe and Evil EJ get into the time machine.

Another Ejami Clip on Hulu



It's March 31st where EJ is holding Johnny and asking Sami to help him.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Wednesday, April 2nd, 2008



“Welcome to Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous with me, your monologuing host, Victor Kiriakis. Let me bore you to death with details you, the audience, already know.” Sheesh, Chloe had the right idea here.



“I've basically raised those twins with Samantha since Lucas went to jail.” I’m glad both EJ and Sami pointed this out. I’m also happy Sami’s mystical savings are finally running low since she’s been living on those since Mythic imploded.



“I'm not speaking as a therapist. I'm speaking as a woman. Look, people do strange things when they're in love. And who are we to judge?” See, audience, EJ was in love with Sami! We were just kidding about all that sociopath stuff.



“I'm a changed man, John. I don't want anything to do with my father anymore” and “I can assure you I'm not the man that I used to be.” Oh, don’t remind me, Good EJ! I was hoping to get some sweet jokes out of you today, but noooooooo, Good EJ is too nice to insult someone Pansy.



“A side to your mother I've never seen.” Hey, you can ask your dad about it if he ever wakes up.



Hi Pookie! Welcome to Days! I guess Nicole can come too.

Grade: Ah, decisions, decisions. I love Ejami, yet I hate J&M. The dialogue was better today with the “parallel universe” mention, but Good EJ chose to spite me by making no jokes. Nicole and Pookie showed up, but the Kiriakis dinner was mindnumbing. Eh, I’m feeling charitable. B.

Tuesday, April 1st, 2008



AAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! BAD EJ! BAD!



“Is that what they're calling an entry-level job nowadays?” Well, you’d certainly know, wouldn’t you, Immigration Dude? Twenty plus years, and you’re still in one.



“When I have a job, I have incredible tenacity.” Oh, don’t we know it, EJ.



“What, all of a sudden you have a license to practice in this state?”
“Yeah, all the work I did for my father. You don't remember that?” No, I don’t, EJ, BECAUSE IT NEVER HAPPENED. *cough* retcon *cough*



“I’m EJ Wells.” Considering how quickly James said this entire sentence, I think this actually might have been a slip by him, especially since EJ has said “EJ DiMera” the previous two times he’s introduced himself and Immigration Dude refers to him by that in this very episode. If so, it’s more than forgivable. If not, having two names works just fine for Hannah Montana. Hannah also rocks a wig, which Mickey might want to look into.



Hmm, Ejami went to the bathroom together. I wonder why. EJ holding Sami’s purse? No. Ejami celebrating the one year anniversary of Sami finding Toasty EJ? Nah. Ejami “freshening up” together? Oh yeah baby.



“I'm nothing like my father.” ROTFL, sure, Days. You keep on keepin’ on with that. And “It's not like I was her first choice of son-in-law.” Or Roman’s, or Sami’s, or the writers, or Corday, or NBC…

Grade: Better dialogue as I actually liked the antibiotic joke, and the writers are actually attempting to retcon somewhat thoughtfully. We’ll keep the A-.