Saturday, July 12, 2008

The Kinda Okay Week in Review

Monday and Tuesday

So apparently EJ called out Sami’s name during the elevator sex, huh? Well, I wouldn’t worry about that, Nicole. Everything worked out just fine for Ross and Emily-oh wait.


So I’m back to watching, and EJ is back to the 1986 cruise ship captain outfits for some strange reason. At least he can pull them off.

“Hey, Nicole. There you are. I've been trying to get ahold of you. I called you a few times.” Of course you did, EJ.
“Actually, EJ, I'm kind of in a hurry.” Oh, not anymore you’re not.
“Can you slow down for a second, please? I just, I just wanted to talk about what happened last night.” Yes, you need to talk to her. It’s important.
“What's there to talk about? It was sex-no big deal.” *snicker* Ah, let’s change the channel and fill you in here, you stupid twit.

“Nicole, you’ve just had nasty elevator sex with EJ. Tell her what she’s won, Rich!”

“It’s a lifetime of emotional baggage, Drew! Years of brainwashing by Stefano has left EJ’s psyche a scarred wasteland incapable of self-identification. Since he’s unable to emotionally support himself, he has to rely on you to meet his daily needs. Sami had no problem fulfilling his incessant pleas for reassurance as it made her feel special, but you’re about to buckle under the strain. Better refill that Xanax prescription.”

“Nicole, wait, wait, please. Just-just give me two minutes, okay?” “What happened last night was not just sex. And we both know that. So can we...not pretend?” “ you agree?” “Look, I understand that it's scary for you. It's scary for me, too. And I don't know what last night meant, and I don't know what it's gonna mean, but I do know that what happened last night was very special for me.” Isn’t EJ’s emotional dependence cute? He’s like a very young boy in the way he perceives certain situations.
“It was special for me, too.” But you shouldn’t encourage him, Nicole. You’re not going to like the result.

“EJ DiMera.” Oh, I love it when he says that. Infinitely better than Wells.
“I’m a lawyer. And a criminal mastermind, but I probably shouldn’t advertise that last one.”

“Did you go to school together? I didn't know you had a PhD in physics, darling.” EJ, Nicole can’t even spell differential equation, much less solve one. Also, this is a pretty lame joke. Step it up.
“And, Nicole, darling, if we could continue that conversation later, I'd be grateful, so I'm just gonna be taking a seat, okay?” Oh, he’s going to get on your nerves already, isn’t he?

“I'm just saying that I want you to end your relationship with EJ. Immediately.” Trent, old buddy, old pal! Might I take this opportunity to say that I loved you as Michael and Kevin’s abusive dad and Ashley’s stalker on Y&R.

“You know what? I am glad I found a man who treats me with respect. Now I just need to figure out why I think that man is Lucas.”

“You want to sit down? You want to talk about it?” Man, he’s attentive, isn’t he?
“Look, EJ...last night was...very special. And I need you to know that I do not regret one moment...but it can never happen again. You're amazing. And you deserve to be happy, and that's why this relationship needs to stay strictly professional.” Um, Nicole, I think Trent meant no relationship at all, not just no personal relationship.
“Nothing's going on. I'm just trying to get my life in order.” And by life, you mean storyline.
“You're shutting me out of it. Do you want to tell me what this is really about?” Sure, it’s about that Trent dude blackmailing Nicole, and the ratings tanking over this Ejole thing.
“You're in love with Sami.” Damn right he is.
“I want a real relationship, not just sex.” I’ll believe that when I see it.
“This was not just sex, Nicole.” Wanting something to be more doesn’t make it so, EJ. And you don’t really want that to have meant anything anyway. You just need someone with you to reassure you since Sami isn’t available.
“Yeah, I was okay with it at first, but I want more.” And the show wants more ad dollars, so the ratings need to go up.
“Okay. I don't get any say in this?” and “No, EJ, you don’t.” Reasoning aside, I have to say that I agree with this here. If you want to end things, you don’t need the other person’s permission. You just have to make sure you’re honest with them and they know about it before you move on. In other words, don’t do what Lucas is doing to Sami.

Like stalker, like son.

Grade: B. Sure, I’d much rather watch Ejami or Evil EJ feeding Nicole into a meat grinder, but watching Nicole squirm as EJ unintentionally suffocates her isn’t half bad. Sami aside, this is why Ejole can never work. Nicole needs a relationship with space, and EJ cannot have any space in his. I find it highly amusing Nicole was so busy getting back at Sami she never thought to herself what kind of man would actually want Sami as his first choice. You think this is clingy, Nicole? EJ’s just going to hold on to you tighter as he wants you to be as close to him as possible. He’s the veritable definition of high maintenance.


“I just want to end this depressing chapter in my life.” Actually, Nicole, I’d say Ejole is more infuriating than depressing, but hey, whatever works.
“Does that also include our relationship?” Oh, yeah, baby!
“Nicole, please. I don't mind if you don't answer my question as much as I mind if you don't acknowledge it,” “We do. We have enough time. Can we please talk about what happened earlier?” and “Look, you can tell me that you don't want to have a relationship with me, but you can't expect me not to question why.” Ah, EJ. You’re relentless in your need for reassurance.
“We didn't really have a relationship. We're not friends. You're my lawyer, a lawyer I had sex with. That's it” and “I don't want to talk about this anymore, EJ. What happened in the elevator is a one-time thing, and you need to accept that.” You tell him, Nicole. Man, he’s already getting to you, isn’t he?

“In case you don't already know, Chloe thinks they're friends. She's been after him for a while now. And when I find out about her having sex with Lucas, I’m going to look really, really stupid.”

“Don’t mind me. This part of the episode certainly didn’t.”

“Lucas, I'm sorry.” I’m not. Oh, it’s almost over! Die, Lumi! Die!
“Don't cry, all right? I hate to see you cry. You know that.” LIAR! It is what you do.
“I just-I just feel like I'm losing you all over again.” Yes! Woo hoo!
“You're not gonna lose me.” Yeah, she’s going to finally walk away.
“You knew what would happen if you broke house arrest again, Lucas. What was it-what made you leave the mansion?” and Philip's “Yeah, Lucas. What was so important that you'd risk everything, including seeing your daughter grow up?” Apparently Chloe is that good.

“Can I be your dog walker? Acupuncturist? Custodial technician?”

Grade: D. Man, this was boring. Yes, yes, I know, Days. Lumi won’t be over over until Sami finds out about the Luloe sex, and this was about ending Victor and Nicole’s marriage more than it was about featuring EJ, but sheesh. Both EJ and Sami were barely in this and with the wrong people when they were. At least Nicole pimped Ejami again. Of course EJ loves Sami.

Short EJ Clip on Hulu

It's July 9th, and it's EJ meeting Trent included in a Morgan clip for some reason-anyway, I took the liberty of cutting out all the non-EJ, so it's about 34 seconds or so.