Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Tuesday, March 4th, 2008

“It's a very interesting look you have this morning. It's kind of a postnatal bohemian...thing.” Yes, Sami’s look is very Hot Topic meets Delia’s. And you wake up in the morning well refreshed, come over to your beloved’s at your leisure, and insult the mother of your children? The dark gray sweater you’re wearing may have fooled Days’ morality radar, but not me with a line that beautifully harsh. Welcome back, Evil EJ. Oh, how I have missed you.

“Well, I'd like to think that my law degree might finally be good for something.” What, does it have an expiration date on the back? It’s not a coupon, EJ. And keep not mentioning that you’d have to get a separate annulment for the Church, okay?

“But I'm not a DiMera anymore, am I?” Yet your last name and lineage say otherwise. “I've been disowned, you know? No more power. No more influence.” Ah, I see we’re back to Gray EJ already. No one disrespects Evil EJ’s authority.

“Just the idea of you working a regular job is hilarious.” Now, Sami, just because the show thinks that EJ’s careers as an international race car driver and CEO of Mythic Communications were jokes doesn’t mean you have to, especially when you’re mooching clothing off of him.

“Maybe I won a bake-sale competition.” Let me guess, double brownie botulism cupcakes with mercury frosting?

“This sucks.”
“Samantha, this a little bit more than sucks.”

Days, this is how I talk, not how EJ and Sami should speak. There’s no need to be overly formal, but this is too casual for them.

“I mean, I'm married. I have a wife. I have a child. I have a family here. This is ridiculous.” OH NOES!
“Can't you just use the fact that your son is an American and that you're married to me to get you a visa?” ZOMG!

Look, Days, I understand it’s hard to write characters scheming, really I do. But this stuff just makes EJ and Sami look like they have room temperature IQs. Those Guinness ads were infinitely more brilliant than this.

Grade: A-. Tighten up the dialogue and the plotting, and we’re almost there.