Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008

I liked the health club better when it was ominous.

I said back in March "Yes, as much as I like the long sleeved t-shirts, I want some variety in the colors he wears. What about a forest green one?"

On one hand, I pity the poor intern who is stuck reporting on my insipid rambling. On the other, I would like that “EJ takes a shower” scene and more wisecracks by EJ, please. And if he could be evil again too, that’d be great. And if you’d like to do something extra special for me, have EJ reference Metallica…or Megadeth. I’m flexible.

“Oh, the setting -- you know, the ‘hounds of hell chomping at my behind’ setting.” I’d try between the imps and the lesser demons, EJ. And yes, this joke was the highlight of the episode. It was all quickly downhill from here.

“Not surprising to see you with a bottle of water in your hand. I hope it's sewer water.” Dude! The obvious joke to make here is that it’s not water but vodka. Le sigh.

“And I am not interested in helpful hints from someone who's only ever babied a high-powered hybrid engine.” Because driving a car for sport doesn’t waste natural resources at all. I also seem to remember a certain Evil EJ making fun of Sami’s desire for a Green Wedding. But whatever NBC Universal wants, NBC Universal gets, eh? I saw the press release. Honestly, all the blatant Earth Day plugging in this episode really grated on me. One should go green because one genuinely cares about the environment, not because the media subsidiary of GE told them to care.

“And Elvis.” Try mostly Elvis. And thank you, Maggie, for getting on the “Let’s call EJ Elvis” bandwagon. See who else you can convince, please.

“Their mommy is married to the wrong man and living the wrong life.” Reminding us of Lucas’ inevitable return? Oh, certainly. But moreover, this gets at the heart of the matter when it comes to Sami. Being married to EJ and living with him in the DiMansion with the twins doesn’t fit her vision of what her life is supposed to be like-it doesn’t currently matter to her that it’s a wonderful, fulfilling life in its own right and also infinitely better than the alternative. Lucas coming back will allow her to make a side by side comparison so she can let go of the fantasy of the man she sees Lucas as and embrace the reality of the man EJ is.

Let’s see, no real divorce talk, no jokes, no plot advancement or characterization…could it be any more apparent that we are just killing time here?

“I don't know if it was EJ's or Lucas'.” Don’t worry; the show doesn’t either.

Bad show! Bad, bad!

Grade: You know how people dismissively say “Man, that episode was awful; it was like watching Days of Our Lives” when they want to disparage a television show? This is what they are talking about. You want to do silly situations instead of meaningful depth, fine. But this utter garbage is not how you do that. We had Standing Around EJ, Raging Sami, and Dumb Nicole. C+ for EJ’s shirt, the joke, and the Elvis reference, F for everything else.