ROBO EJ WEEK IN REVIEW!

HELLO! ROBO EJ REVIEW THIS WEEK! ROBO EJ IS-



Sorry. Robo EJ apologizes as Robo EJ must be quiet as Robo EJ is currently hiding from Hero EJ and Evil EJ in DiMansion ventilation system. Robo EJ could not be happier about cyborg baby, but Hero EJ and Evil EJ not like situation or Robo EJ’s self-modifications which allowed Robo Baby to be created. Robo EJ does not understand why Hero EJ is “very disappointed in him” and Evil EJ vowed Robo EJ would be “disintegrated to the subatomic level.” Yes, Nicole less than optimal female to make offspring with, but Robo EJ take what Robo EJ can get.



So no need be angry, Robo EJ take good care of Robo Baby all by himself once baby is born. No need Nicole then. And Robo EJ is very excited to be father for son or daughter! If baby is 0111100001111001, name will be Ernie after one of first computers, ENIAC. If baby is 0111100001111000, name will be Rose after robot human relations trailblazer Rosie the Robot.

So, yes, it review time! Monday show!



“I don’t know what to say.” Of course you do not, Zombie Dallas EJ! Is not your baby!



“She’s lying!” While Robo EJ thrilled to be daddy, Robo EJ admit that would have been better pro-Ejami plot. Rewrite from pro-Lumi and Ejole story obvious.



Robo EJ only like Zombie Dallas EJ defend Nicole here because she carry Robo Baby.



Get away, Zombie Dallas EJ! Is not yours!



“What do we do now?” Zombie Dallas EJ is moron led around on leash. Robo EJ know Evil EJ would not ask for guidance from non-Samantha woman.

Tuesday show!



Robo EJ think Zombie Dallas EJ showing off pale dead chest not distract audience from horrible writing.



Robo EJ also think Sami outfit not fool blind person although was clearly designed by one. And calling Zombie Dallas EJ sleaze is insult to Evil EJ.



Shirtless Lucas another sign of wrong decisionmaking. Confronted with choice, show always pick wrong option.



Days, people not care about real election. Care even less about fake one.



Robo EJ says does not compute Kayla would help any EJ after Evil EJ brainwashed husband and ran her off road with minions.



Hello, Robo Baby! Robo EJ is glad you is well! So cute! Cyborg growth insulation netting should protect Robo Baby from adverse events, but Robo EJ will feel much better when baby is born and away from Nicole.



Robo EJ not surprised ratings bad. This not chemistry. Can feel through screen even Zombie Dallas EJ want leave Nicole.

Wednesday show!



Robo EJ beyond caring about Ejole except for Robo Baby. Zombie Dallas EJ unwatchable.



Chloe insult Sami beyond the pale and very insulting to audience who is not all supermodels. Sheer idiocy like this why show not renewed yet.



Robo EJ think show very stupid reminding audience of past when show actually entertaining. Only fuel audience uncontrollable rage.



“I think Lucas is warming up to me.” Robo EJ think Zombie Dallas EJ should not want be liked by man who attempted murder all EJs. Robo EJ also think TPTB complete idiots for thinking audience accept non-enemy Lucas and EJ relationship.



Outfit completely not hiding Sami pregnancy so yes, moron Zombie Dallas EJ does not notice.



Ejami light up around each other!



Robo EJ found dialogue here insulting, especially “a friend” and “sign that you are meant to be” lines. Yet again show does not care about Ejami fanbase.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ge_UdnZuT34

It’s been a long time



This only good moment all week. EJ and Sami want be together, but crap writing make them too stupid to tell each other this. And rewrites yet again obvious. Original plan Ejami end here. Robo EJ wonder how dumb TPTB get out of bed in morning without injury.



Robo EJ think Sami not tell Zombie Dallas EJ about Ejami baby plot totally undermined by scene with Johnny but expect this level of foolishness from Days.

Thursday show!



“Hmm, Ejami still not together, ratings still in toilet.”



Robo EJ believe show digging own grave.



Zombie Dallas EJ take dressing cues from Pansy EJ. Look like salon hairstylist. Evil EJ shoot television like namesake right now.



“Are you insane?” Insane is bag masquerading as dress.



Somehow Robo EJ did not miss this.



Nurse completely unprofessional and should be fired. Many women have babies alone. Again Days insulting audience.



Of course Stefano not care. Have zillions of children with none same mothers.



Yet again scenes demonstrate Days want Lumi and Ejole before badly added Ejami rewrites. Show running out of time. Ejami now or lights out.

Friday sh-

Robo EJ’s mechanical voice falters as a surge of electricity runs through him.

Excited Voice (proud): “Great shot, Samantha!”



As the shock from the tazer rapidly wears off, Robo EJ sees Evil Crazy EJ and his Samantha doll enter the ventilation shaft both dressed in infiltration gear.

Robo EJ (surprised): “Evil Crazy EJ? What you doing?”

Evil Crazy EJ (explaining): “Samantha and I are here to bring you in, Robo EJ. Evil EJ asked for our help in looking for you. He is very not happy.”

Robo EJ (afraid): “No, please! Please! Robo EJ must be around for Robo Baby!”

Evil Crazy EJ (ignoring his pleas): “Samantha says Robo EJ should have thought of that before he asked the stork to bring him robot baby without getting permission from Hero EJ and Evil EJ!”

Robo EJ (confused): “Robo EJ think Evil Crazy EJ mistaken where baby comes from.”

Evil Crazy EJ (missing the point): “I think you come from Stupidland! You have Nicole be mommy of Robo Baby?! She does not know anything about robots. She will give the baby alcohol to drink instead of gasoline and human toys like stuffed animals instead of robot toys like lasers.”

Robo EJ (desperate): “Please do not bring Robo EJ to Evil EJ! Robo EJ will give you cookies!”

Evil Crazy EJ regards Robo EJ.

Evil Crazy EJ (intrigued): “What kind of cookies?”

Robo EJ (negotiating): “You choose.”

Talking the offer over with his wife, Evil Crazy EJ brings his Samantha doll closer to him in order to hear her better.

Evil Crazy EJ (adamant): “E.L. Fudge Doublestuffed. Two packages. One for Samantha and one for me.”

Robo EJ (all too eager): “This can be arranged.”

Evil Crazy EJ (pleasantly): “We accept your terms.”

Evil Crazy EJ holds out his hand. As soon as Robo EJ moves to shake it, Evil Crazy EJ stabs Robo EJ’s right hand with a combat knife.

Evil Crazy EJ (removing the blade): “Stupid robot! We would never betray Evil EJ! Not even for a tour of the Keebler elves factory tree! Now you come with us!”

Robo EJ (evilly): “Robo EJ does not think so.”

Robo EJ backs away from Evil Crazy EJ to show he is now holding Evil Crazy EJ’s Samantha doll in his left hand.

Samantha: “…”

Enraged, Evil Crazy EJ glares darkly at Robo EJ.

Evil Crazy EJ (pointing angrily): “You leave my wife alone, Robo EJ!”

Robo EJ (shaking his head): “Robo EJ will not miss nanosecond of Robo Baby existence.”

Evil Crazy EJ (growling): “You won’t exist if you don’t take your hands off Samantha right now!”

Robo EJ (stating his terms): “You let Robo EJ still hide, you get leave with her.”

Robo EJ and Evil Crazy EJ stare at each other. Suddenly, Evil Crazy EJ smiles.

Evil Crazy EJ (reciting): “Computer, accept audio input! Code six six three nine! Alpha Whiskey Tango Foxtrot! Reference 0x0000042! Passphrase what the paladin doesn’t know won’t hurt him!”

A clicking sound comes from Robo EJ’s speakers and echoes throughout the shaft.

Sinister Recording (sounds familiar): “Indeed. Physical lockdown activated. Evil EJ manual override engaged. So bucket of bolts hasn’t been behaving himself. Who is going to put him in his place?”

Robo EJ (unable to move): “What?!! What paralyze Robo EJ and use sound system?”

Evil Crazy EJ (continuing): “User is Frayed Ends of Sanity! Password is Samantha’s favorite color!”

Evil EJ Control Program (access granted): “Identity confirmed. Hello, Evil Crazy EJ and Samantha. How shall this overgrown toaster serve you?”

Robo EJ (frozen): “This not fair. Hero EJ said Robo EJ is free being. This not supposed to be possible!”

Evil Crazy EJ (ordering): “Go to sleep now!”



Evil EJ Control Program (executing): “Command accepted. Initiating emergency shutdown. Flipping killswitch. Unpleasant dreams, sunshine.”

Robo EJ (shrieking): “NOOOOOOOOO! MY BAB-”

The light dies in Robo EJ’s eyes as his internal power source is deactivated. Satisfied that he has rendered the cyborg inert, Evil Crazy EJ walks over to him and gathers his wife in his arms.

Samantha (hugging her husband): “Oh, EJ!”

Evil Crazy EJ (stroking her hair): “Did he hurt you, sweetheart?”

Samantha (giggling): “Nope. Our backup plan worked perfectly!”

Evil Crazy EJ (nodding): “While I would have preferred not to make Robo EJ take a nap, it was his own fault. He should have never tried to use you as a hostage.”

Samantha (considering): “Yes, for a machine Robo EJ is not very smart.”

Evil Crazy EJ (agreeing): “Robo EJ should have known that Evil EJ would install a hidden program to control him behind Hero EJ’s back and give himself, us, and Gray EJ secret codes for it. Of course Evil EJ does not want Robo EJ walking around without a way to stop him. He has watched the Terminator movies with us lots of times.”

Having subdued Robo EJ, Evil Crazy EJ and Samantha drag him out of the ventilation shaft and place him on the floor of the adjacent room.

Samantha (brushing dust off her outfit): “You should tell Evil EJ we have completed our mission!”

Evil Crazy EJ (taking out his Sidekick): “Good idea, Samantha!”

Evil Crazy EJ (texting): “O_o samantha + me got robo ej in tv room plz come 2 us ^_^”

Evil Crazy EJ and Samantha read the near-instant reply from Evil EJ.

Evil EJ (response): “Excellent, I’ll be right there-consider your request granted.”

Samantha (throwing her hands up in the air): “Yes! Evil EJ is going to take us to dinner and clothes shopping!”

Evil Crazy EJ (gesturing happily): “And not only that, Samantha! He said that we can get McFlurries, and he’d play in the PlayZone with us!”

Samantha (smiling): “I want to take pictures of him on the slide and in the ball pit! We can make him a thank you present and put the photos in a friendship frame!”

Evil Crazy EJ (kissing her on the top of her head): “Oh, he will love that! You are the best wife ever!”

Samantha looks over at Robo EJ’s unconscious form.

Samantha (tugging on her husband’s sleeve): “Sweetie, I think we need to finish up the review Robo EJ was doing. He can’t finish it when he’s asleep.”

Evil Crazy EJ (unsure): “But we didn’t watch the show, my dear. It was too stupid.”

Samantha (thinking): “Well, I suppose we could say that Nicole should not play tickling games with Zombie Dallas EJ in her underwear. She will get sick!”

Evil Crazy EJ (amazed at how smart his wife is): “That is a very good point, darling. Cold and flu season will be here soon, and we don’t want anyone to become ill.”

Samantha (hugging her husband): “So dress appropriately, and enjoy the weekend! No show, so no stupid stuff to watch! Only losers would write such a stupid story! We give this past week an L for losers!”

Evil Crazy EJ (hugging her back): “Yes, we do, sweetheart! And now that’s it’s over with, it’s time to have fun!”

Evil Crazy EJ and Samantha Review September 10th, 2008

Hello! How is everyone today? Samantha and I are so happy to be here!



Yes! We want to thank Carpe for asking us to do the review!



Evil Crazy EJ (excited): “Yes, Samantha, we are so lucky to get to review Metallica’s new album!”

Samantha (throwing her hands up in the air): “It is great! You need to buy it right away on Friday if you have not already had someone help you preorder it so it is there waiting for you when you go to the store. You can listen to part of it at Metallica.com, and there are songs about demons and death and killing people and selling your soul and monsters and the end of the world! And the best song is about coloring!”

Evil Crazy EJ (nodding): “James Hetfield is truly a master lyrist to write so eloquently about our favorite activity.”

Samantha (singing): “I’ll end this day...I’ll splatter color on this gray”



What are you two doing?



Hi, Evil EJ! Samantha and I are doing the review we promised Carpe.

Evil EJ (irritated): “But Carpe did not ask you to review the new Metallica album, although I’m sure she appreciates another blatant plug for her favorite musical group. You and Samantha are supposed to be reviewing today’s show.”

Samantha (shaking her head): “I didn’t like it. It was stupid!”

Evil Crazy EJ (comforting his wife): “Samantha says it was dumb, so she does not want to talk about it. We decided to review ‘Death Magnetic’ instead.”

Evil EJ (patiently): “Unfortunately for you two, that’s not what you agreed to do. Now, get back to reviewing the episode, okay? You promised her you would do so. And I’ll know if you don’t.”

Trusting his best friend to listen to him, Evil EJ leaves Evil Crazy EJ and his Samantha alone again in the room.

Evil Crazy EJ (annoyed): “Fine! Idiotic Carpe. It’s not like anyone reads these anyway, right, sweetheart?”

Samantha (sticking her tongue out): “Yes, but we will review the dumb show now, not that we want to.”



Evil Crazy EJ (mockingly): “I am Good EJ, and I am stupid. I cannot even read with my stupid glasses. That is how stupid I am. How I do not fall down from my stupidity I do not know.”



Samantha (sing song): “I am Nicole, and I am even dumber than Good EJ! My dress is ugly, and I get cold because it has no arms. My doggie is sad because I stick her in a purse, and she cannot breathe! I am a bad owner!”

Husband and wife look at each other in agreement.

Evil Crazy EJ (nodding): “So there you have it. The show today was stupid, and Samantha and I did not like it at all. We give it a -42 for being boring and not having any coloring, chocolate milk, or random murders.”

The review finished, Samantha claps her hands together.

Samantha (smiling): “Review over! Now it is time for reader mail! Yea!”

Evil Crazy EJ (looking at his wife in surprise): “What a great idea, Samantha! You are so smart! Yes, it is mail time!”

Distant Sinister Voice (exasperated): “No, it’s not.”

Evil Crazy EJ and Samantha (singing): “We get letters! We get letters! We get lots and lots of letters!”

Evil Crazy EJ (reading): “Our first question comes from Cat. Dear Samantha and Evil Crazy EJ, why did you attack Nicole with a saucer?”

Puzzled, Evil Crazy EJ and Samantha look at each other.

Evil Crazy EJ (wondering): “What else would I hit her with? A spoon?”

Samantha (laughing): “Silly question!”

Evil Crazy EJ (reading again): “Our second question comes from Tricky via Virgie. Dear Evil Crazy EJ and Samantha, who let Pansy EJ out of his cage?”

Evil Crazy EJ (nodding): “Excellent question.”

Samantha (explaining): “My husband and I had been wondering the same thing. First we suspected that our minions at Lowe’s the Home Improvement Place did not appreciate the extra dollar we bribed them with and sabotaged the cage, but it passed a full inspection. Then we thought Hello Kitty might have fallen to Stockholm syndrome and become a traitor, a willing disciple of goodness. However, we shared this concern with Evil EJ, and she was able to avoid an unpleasant trip in the washing machine after a complete investigation. So Good EJ is out of his cage because he has a magic hat.”

Evil Crazy EJ (agreeing): “Yes, Evil EJ explained to us that Good EJ escapes with a magic hat to be all pansyish. It must be invisible because we have not seen him wearing it.”



No, I said he gets out by writer fiat. TPTB want it, so it happens. And what are you two doing?!



Hi, Evil EJ! Samantha and I are done with the review so we are answering reader questions!



Ah, yes, your “review.” I hardly think what you two did qualifies as a survey of today’s episode.

Evil Crazy EJ (angry): “We think it is a review!”

Evil EJ (raising his eyebrow): “Really. Then you won’t mind if I do not take you to McDonald’s with me while Gray EJ and Hero EJ spend time with our beloved and the twins.”

Shocked, Samantha and Evil Crazy EJ look at Evil EJ.

Samantha (gasping in horror): “You promised! You said you would take us to get Happy Meals for dinner!”

Evil Crazy EJ (eyes widened): “Samantha is stunned at your cruelty, Evil EJ. We were good today just like you asked us to be! We did not even try to draw on the important legal papers you invitingly leave in your briefcase! How could you lie to us?”

Evil EJ (gesturing easily): “Oh, how could I possibly uphold my word with someone who refuses to do the same?”

Samantha (pouting): “Evil EJ is mean! Why is he so smart?”

Evil Crazy EJ (glaring): “True evil is very intelligent, Samantha. He has us. We have to do the review now.”

Evil EJ (smirking): “Quite. Now get to it for real this time, and perhaps we can swing by Target on the way home. I’m sure Samantha would like to look at their dress collection.”

Samantha (hugging Evil Crazy EJ): “Yes! New fall fashions! Please?”

Evil Crazy EJ (nodding at his wife): “Samantha and I agree. We will start now.”

Evil EJ (leaving): “Good. I’ll leave you two to it. Have fun.”

Evil Crazy EJ and Samantha reluctantly begin their review.



The DiMera mansion is actually much nicer than this. We are not sure why they keep showing this old photo for it.



“Nicole, I can't help but be attracted to you. It's a matter of biology.” By that Good EJ means that he’d like to dissect Nicole with a rusty paring knife, but he is too scared. Pansy!



Samantha thinks Sami looks very pretty here! Nice hair and makeup, and beautiful lavender top! She also says Nicole looks like she forgot to finish getting dressed.



We hate Nicole for many reasons, but we especially do not like her choice of beverage. Why would you not have chocolate milk in the morning?



Even Pansy Good EJ does not like this episode. That is how stupid it is!



“Just tell me what the hell you're thinking standing here talking to her when you should be fighting for our daughter.” He does not think, Sami! Good EJ has no brain!
“That's a bit of a flip-flop. Don't you think, Samantha? As soon as it serves the occasion, suddenly Ali’s my child as well?” Samantha says both babies are Evil EJ’s!
“I thought you felt like she was your daughter all along, actually, EJ. You always told me how you love her just as much as you love Johnny, or were you lying about that, too?” Evil EJ, Hero EJ, and Gray EJ would not lie about that. We cannot vouch for dumb Good EJ here.
“Samantha, this is about you and your feelings. You've always rubbed my nose in the fact that Ali is not mine, that she's Lucas' daughter.” That does not matter! Baby Ali needs your help now!
“I wish I could change the channel. Isn't there anything better on?” Samantha says the show should not break the fourth wall when it is this awful as it only highlights how boring this plot is.
“And now what, hmm? You think you can just come over here and manipulate me into some kind of action?” Someone has to do something, Good EJ! You just sit around being good and stupid.
“And, Samantha, if you were under the impression that I can get you back custody of Ali, you're wrong. Lucas has rights. You might not like it, but that's the law.” We do not care about dumb laws, Good EJ! Evil EJ is not bound by any rule of man!
“How can you be so cavalier about this?” Good EJ is not very bright, Sami.
“How can you be so outraged about it, Samantha? Hmm? It's not the end of the world. You're sharing custody of your daughter with her father. It's not like you're never gonna see her again, okay?” Lucas tried to kill Evil EJ, and he is even stupider than Good EJ! He will forget to give Baby Ali food! Someone must save her!



Good EJ is really just mad that Sami and Nicole broke all his nice crayons.



“I got John Black who's starting a war against Tony and me for control of the DiMera fortune. I got my father hold up in the back there about to unleash hell at any given moment. My life, Samantha, has been turned upside down!” and “My point, if it is not incredibly clear, is that I don't have time to deal with either of your problems. Just take a deep breath, all right, relax, and leave me out.” Samantha thinks that Good EJ should be happy his daddy is okay, not complaining. And why not ask him for help since he is smart and evil? Because Good EJ is too stupid to do so! Blinded by goodness! Evil EJ would take advantage of every available resource to protect his family, and he would not complain like a loser about it either.



“Go ahead and focus on your spoiled little life and your really ‘difficult’ problems while I go rescue my daughter without your assistance.” Samantha believes that our daddy being awake upstairs would be a problem that concerns Sami, but apparently Sami is too busy being mean to Good EJ to see that.
“Samantha, if you are about to do something monumentally stupid, I suggest you reconsider.” We do not think the writing will let you or Sami do anything not stupid, Good EJ.
“So that I could what, be more passive and ineffectual like you?” Yes! Good EJ does nothing! He is no help at all!
“The judge made a ruling, okay? That's the end of it.” Only because you are a girl! Evil EJ would so do many more things. He is smart!
“Look, I understand that this is difficult for you, okay? But like I said, Samantha, it's not the end of the world, all right? So you're just gonna have to...be strong.” And like Evil EJ says, strength comes from power, which you do not have, stupid Good EJ.



Samantha says Good EJ really should not talk to himself as it is a sign that you are crazy. Also, Good EJ needs to lock the front door. People should not be able to wander in and out of the house, or they will take your toys.



We think the bear is very cute! Why he is yellow we are not sure about. We also do not know why Lucas has turned Baby Ali into a hippie.



This is none of Nicole’s business! If she keeps this up, Evil EJ said he will find a way around the writing and stab her to death himself. He also said we will get to keep Pookie and give her a new name like Creeping Death or Cupcake.



Samantha says she misses Officer Chuck.



And we both miss Evil EJ on screen! He would fix everything! He would kill everyone there except Sami and Baby Ali, and everyone would live happily ever after! Samantha says that the show is stupid for favoring Good EJ instead. And our grade is still -42.

The review completed, Evil Crazy EJ and Samantha look at each other thoughtfully.

Samantha (considering): “The cage is no help with Good EJ’s magic hat. We are going to have to deal with him somehow. Even if Evil EJ won’t let us kill him.”

Evil Crazy EJ (on the same page): "Yes, Samantha, we are going to have to figure out a way to neutralize his horrible sticky goodness.”

Samantha (getting up with her husband): “Maybe we can take out some of his insides and sell them online? If Good EJ needs machine friends to keep him alive, he will have to stay in bed, so Evil EJ can be the EJ on the show.”

Evil Crazy EJ (kissing his wife on the cheek): “Brilliant idea, sweetheart! We can ask Evil EJ if that would be alive enough. You are so smart!”

Samantha (beaming): “Thank you for the compliment! You’re so sweet, Evil Crazy EJ!”

Samantha (winking at her husband): “Race you! Last place gets the less fun Happy Meal toy!”

Giggling, Evil Crazy EJ and Samantha run out of the room to go see Evil EJ.