Evil Crazy EJ and His Samantha

Evil Crazy EJ and his Samantha live in a cardboard box down by the pier

TEH EVILS LOL IM CRAZY LOLOL EJ (smiling): "Good morning, Samantha!"

Barbie Doll That Looks Like Sami: "....."

Evil Crazy EJ: "I trust you slept well. I'm sorry I had to leave the mansion for a bit, but you know how those dogs are-they keep attacking the outer wall. I really need to call Animal Control."

Samantha: "....."

Evil Crazy EJ (confused): "That's right, I still can't find my cell phone. Will you look for it for me, darling?"

Samantha: "....."

Evil Crazy EJ: "Thank you, Samantha. Now, I have to go out and get breakfast and the paper for us, and I don't know when I'll be back since Starbucks is hiring such ignorant rubes these days-I get the strangest looks in there. It's like they've never seen an Englishman before."

Samantha: "....."

Evil Crazy EJ (excited): "Yes, dear, I want to see what Garfield is up today too. Be back soon."

Samantha: "....."

Evil Crazy EJ kisses the doll.

Evil Crazy EJ: "I love you too."