Monday, June 23, 2008

The Horrible Week of June 15th, 2008 in Review

Put simply, this is the worst week of Days I can ever remember having the misfortune to sit through. The show is utterly wretched right now. Don your HAZMAT suits, kiddies.


“And then I thought, "You know, EJ, before things get really nasty, maybe you should give him one more chance," “Not a lot gets by me,” and “I will make you, your family, and your businesses look like the opening act in a freak show.” Hello, Evil EJ! Oh, how I wish you had stuck around the rest of this week. And I do forgive Victor here for not realizing that Evil EJ’s threats are anything but empty; Hogan only used him once every six months, so this is the first time he’s met Evil EJ.

Which is more insulting, the insinuation that Lucas can read or that he’s worthy enough to watch “Weekend at Bernie's?” At least Sami was stronger than usual with him.

“Aw, Dad! I can totally take him!”

Man, is Sami rusty or what? EJ never stands there when he eavesdrops; he stands farther over so even if the doors open you can’t see him. And way to trust your “soulmate,” Lucas.

“Daddy, please. I mean, it's been seven months since the twins were born, and I'm barely getting my body back.”
“Trust me, daughter, you look even more beautiful than you ever did.” Hmm, this and Sami forgetting her sunglasses on the top of her head…hinting at a possible Ejami baby or unusually pointed filler dialogue? You make the call!

“Look, I don't want to come between you and Sami.” I had to pause my recording I was laughing so hard.

It would have been nice…in another show.

Man, from EJ to Trent? Downgrade.

“Anyway...I thought you and I could go out and celebrate. There's that new Italian restaurant. It opened up on the waterfront. They got five stars in the Chronicle.” The Spectator, the Inquisitor, and the Chronicle? EJ is a veritable trove of printed information, and of course as the DiMera he is, he wants to go to the Italian restaurant.
“EJ...come on. We can't just go to dinner together, but lunch here now? That’s totally fine.”
“Well, you and I have a few things we need to talk about now that TPTB have switched directions and added this entire scene between us here that wasn’t originally planned.”


I have no idea what EJ said here, but it wasn’t a joke, so *shrug*

“That woman does nothing but completely infuriate me.” Yes, EJ. You like that about her, remember?
“And I tell you, if she wasn't the mother of my child, I would wring her bloody neck.” Oh, so many things wrong with that statement. EJ, let me remind you that you’re evil. You’ve already choked Sami on numerous occasions, including when she was pregnant with your children.

I’d recap the EJ and Lucas conversation here, but it was completely pointless and out of character for both of them. Lucas is telling EJ to chill out? EJ isn’t happy knowing that Lucas is done with Sami? Lucas doesn’t want to make Sami suffer before he leaves her? What show am I watching?

And in what universe is this hand gesture thing romantic?

Ugh, Ejole. It was as though TPTB had stabbed me, but I didn’t know then that this is thankfully rectified in the next episode. Go go go direction change!


Beats me whatever EJ was trying to do here, but it looks painful.

“Nobody will know,” “As far as I was aware, we were just distracting each other,” “Look, I was upset about Samantha. You were upset about-I don't know-whatever it was that you were upset about.” Clearly rewritten dialogue, but I approve of the harshness showing that EJ is just using Nicole.
“You're still in love with Sami.” Of course he is, Nicole. Ejole was just supposed to be an obstacle couple. His Samantha is the center of his world.
“Nicole, I don't think you're some kind of tramp.” You do now, EJ. That’s why you came here for some easy sex in the revised storyline.

Honestly, this says it all about what is wrong with Days right now. I want excitement, adventure, and romance, not a lonely depressed woman sitting by herself in a darkened room.

“I was all ready for this summer Ejole pairing, right? We even took photos with my arm around her! But as it turns out I have absolutely no chemistry with Nicole, and it actually was completely out of character for me to even be a bit interested in her after being completely devoted to Samantha for more than two years. So accordingly, the ratings tanked, and now I’m stuck here talking to you during this reshoot.”

“Oh, poor EJ. Here you are with your great looks, your quick wit, the DiMera ambition, and you're a total flop when it comes to love?” What quick wit? I cannot remember the last joke EJ made.

“Fight for Samantha, blah blah blah…you know, Tony, I think I’m perfectly capable of redirecting myself from a chemistry-free couple to my proper pairing.”
“Hey, at least you get a plotline. TPTB only drag me out when it’s convenient to give you advice, and you didn’t even care enough about me to come to my off screen wedding.”

The Verdict:

“Now I love trash, so much so I even wrote a song about it. But this show is so bad it doesn’t even deserve to be called garbage. It’s insulting to real trash! Slimey here could write a better soap, and he’s a WORM!”