Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Tuesday, April 29th, 2008

“I was nine months pregnant.” That was last August, and the twins were born in October, so no, you weren’t.
“Boxers...blue. You had some sort of monogram on them.” No, they were maroon and unadorned. Ah, Days, your staff research is unparalleled.

“Count the money.”
“That won't take long.” Oooh, baby joke. I need more!
“All right, let's see what we got here- driver's license, credit card, store card. All of these say ‘Samantha Roberts.’” Which makes no sense considering Lucas is now Lucas Horton, and Sami’s been called Samantha DiMera on more than one occasion, but as our incorrect trip down Ejami memory lane demonstrates, Days doesn’t let little things like “logic” or “reality” get in the way of the show.

“So why can't you just pretend that you're in love with me?” Because she wouldn’t be pretending, and there’d be no going back after that.
“You didn't seem to have any problem doing it when I was shot, darling.” Actually I disagree, EJ. The nicest thing she said to you was “you’re the strongest man I know,” which is an exquisite complement, but purposely nonromantic.

“You gave me the kiss of life.”
“You're still saving my life.”
“How about I act the part a little bit better? And I'd tell you how much I love you.” Sigh. EJ was quite the dreamy romantic today until Sami shot him down. It’s only then he got “cynical,” which he really wasn’t. http://thesaurus.reference.com/, show.

Grade: Short, but sweet. EJ was lovely, and Sami wasn’t bad, which is the best we can really hope out of her at this point. And the clothes were nice today too. B+.

Don't Look Directly at the White Shirt!

Hulu has another Ejami clip up, and it's part of the April 28th show where EJ and Sami are preparing for the immigration hearing.

I Was Dreaming

In the middle of the night, EJ is standing by the window in the DiMansion living room. Outside, the weather violently crashes against the walls of the building. Sami walks into the room and smiles as she sees him.

Sami (pleased): “Well, I’m glad I’m not the only one the storm woke up. I’m surprised the twins are sleeping through this when it’s so bad.”

EJ (as if he’s seeing the weather for the first time): “Really. I hadn’t noticed.”

Sami (surprised): “Of course you did. It couldn’t be louder.”

Sami stops as she sees EJ staring outside.

Sami (cautiously): “EJ?”

EJ turns his head and looks at her.

Sami (wondering): “If the storm didn’t wake you, then why are you up?”

EJ makes no move to answer. Sami joins him by the window and looks up at him.

Sami (impatiently): “Well?”

EJ considers Sami and smiles slightly.

Sami (when he doesn’t say anything): “You can tell me.”

EJ (wary): “Can I?”

Sami (honestly): “Yes.”

Choosing to take her at her word, EJ gently takes Sami’s arm and moves them away from the window. They both sit down on the couch.

EJ (with difficulty): “I was awake, Samantha…because I had a nightmare.”

Monday, April 28, 2008

Monday, April 28th, 2008

My local NBC affiliate showed its usual respect for Days by starting late. I’m sure this part of the episode was utterly fascinating, but I wouldn’t know because I didn’t see it.

I could not hate this shirt more. It even brought down how nice EJ’s hair was looking. If I wanted to watch a 1970s caddy, I’d time travel.

“You have the morals of a groundhog.” Dialogue, I don’t even know where to begin in order to make fun of you. So many avenues.

“I think we should start again.” Start what? That golf league you’ve talked about?


You know how EJ doesn’t react here about Brady’s disappearance because he’s completely disinterested? That was me with this episode. This simply didn’t engage me. The only thing I really liked was EJ getting harsh with Sami before he dismissed her, although the “Good night, Samantha!” at the end was too much. Yet I didn’t hate the rest of it, it was just boring. Wow, some tepid banter about silly stuff and some clumsy mishandled forward movement. Why should I care? C-.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Death Is Us Sleeping

She had left to check on the twins. She returns to see that her husband is not in bed, and she cannot recall if he had been when she had awoken earlier. Guessing what had happened, Sami leaves the room and searches EJ’s usual place in the middle of the night. Yet the kitchen is empty, and there is no sign that he has been there. Stumped, she enters the nearby hallway only to stop when she hears something, a faint noise she cannot identify. Sami reenters the kitchen guided by a vague impression. Unsure of what is driving her, she impulsively opens the door to the pantry and is stunned by what she finds.

Arms wrapped around his legs, resting his head on his knees and dully staring into space, EJ is every bit the distressed child he had insisted he was not. He had been right. The day had not come. The night had. Sitting on the floor behind the door, he does not notice her presence at first. Sami starts at the sight of him and, now alerted, EJ sharply looks up and meets her gaze. Neither likes the other’s expression. Sami is taken aback by the shame on EJ’s face, and EJ resents the pity in Sami’s eyes.

Sami smiles reassuringly and offers her hand to him. To her surprise, EJ refuses to take it. Trying to maintain some semblance of dignity, he picks himself up off the floor and walks past her out of the storage space into the kitchen, purposely ignoring her. Sami moves ahead to stand in front of him, challenging him that wherever he was going, she was following. The intensity of his gaze sends a shiver down her spine, and she suddenly notices the redness around his eyes. Had he been crying?

Seeing that there is no escape for him this time, EJ sighs loudly and trudges back to their bedroom with his wife close behind. After entering the room, both get into their respective sides of the bed. EJ folds his arms defensively across his chest and makes no attempt to look at Sami. She stifles an urge to reach out to him. Husband and wife sit in silence before EJ dares to speak.

EJ (annoyed at Sami finding his hiding place): “We need larger cabinets.”

They both laugh, the tension diffused for a moment before the uneasiness floods back. This time it is Sami who pushes it away.

Sami (asking the obvious): “Nightmare?”

EJ turns and glares at Sami.

Sami (apologetically): “I’m sorry, EJ. I never should have asked you to talk about this. About any of it.”

EJ (tiredly looking back at her): “And I never should have started to tell you when you did.”

Sami (realizing what she had unlocked): “I didn’t understand what I was asking of you.”

EJ (sullenly): “No, you didn’t, no matter how much I told you I didn’t want to.”

Sami (explaining): “I just thought we could talk about it a bit and that would be it. I didn’t expect you to…react like this.”

EJ (petulantly): “You should have. You know what he’s like.”

Understanding how just badly she had misjudged, Sami opens her mouth to speak again only to be beaten by the melancholy sigh from the man beside her.

EJ (wincing): “But it’s not as though you control my dreams, Samantha, or I’d ask you for something more pleasant. You never meant to hurt me…quite the opposite, in fact. And what’s done is done.”

Sami (following his reasoning): “You mean, you…you want to talk about it?”

EJ (not answering): “Apparently I have to if I want to sleep here uneventfully in our bed again.”

Sami (reluctantly): “But you still don’t want to, do you?”

EJ (honestly): “No.”

Silence hangs in the air for several minutes.

EJ (resigned as he moves his head to the side): “Unfortunately, I don’t think I really have a choice.”

EJ looks at Sami for her thoughts.

Sami (knowing it’s not what he wants to hear): “I don’t think so either. Not when it’s this bad.”

EJ (ruefully): “So I talk about it then.”

Sami (genuinely): “I’m sorry.”

EJ (apprehensive): “So am I.”

EJ (insistent as he points): “But only this. What we were discussing before.”

Sami (thinking back): “The flashcards?”

EJ (steeling himself): “Yes. Nothing else. Agreed?”

Sami (immediately consenting): “Agreed.”

Trepidation reflecting in his eyes, EJ takes a deep breath before he begins.

EJ (seriously): “This…this was when I was younger. When I was older, it was easy for the most part. I still had to study, but I rarely missed, even with having to add in all the updates, comings and goings, and information revisions.”

EJ (grimacing): “But when I was younger, it was very difficult for me. The photos just made it worse.”

Sami (surprised): “Photos?”

EJ (nodding): “Photos. And I just could not keep track of everyone. Bradys, Hortons, and a mess of other people. So many, and I didn’t know any of them. Playing memory with the pictures just seemed to make it worse, as if they all mixed together into one large blur of random faces.”

His sentence finished, EJ stares off into space. After he makes no attempt to continue, eventually Sami speaks.

Sami (prompting): “EJ?”

As he looks back towards her, Sami cannot help but feel uneasy at the blank look on her husband’s face.

Sami (asking): “You were saying about the photos?”

EJ (suddenly remembering): “Right. The photos plus the profile information made it hard for me, especially when the facts overlapped and applied to multiple people. And then there was keeping all the children straight.”

Sami (not shocked but surprised): “Children? There was stuff in there about me?”

EJ (considering): “Well, yes. Sort of.”

EJ (frowning): “There simply wasn’t the same level of detail on Father’s reports about offspring…not under a certain age, anyway.”

Sami (flabbergasted): “Reports?”

EJ (putting up his hands): “Yes, the-no, wait…never mind. No. I am not talking about those. I am talking about the flashcards.”

Sami (accepting and thinking about the volume of information): “That was a lot to remember, wasn’t it?”

EJ (considering): “Yes, and I simply wasn’t focused enough. Too much of my studying time was wasted. I didn’t understand why Father was asking me to do this in addition to all the other training and lessons I had to do. It seemed like such a chore. I wanted to…play more. I never thought I had enough time for that.”

Uncomfortable with his admission, EJ stops talking.

Sami (pushing): “What happened next?”

EJ (simply): “I was wrong most of the time. I got lucky occasionally, suddenly recalling something.”

Sami (forcing him to take the next step): “What happened when you were wrong?”

EJ (avoiding): “I know he had no right to do that, but he didn’t really mean it most of the time, more out of habit than anything else. That wasn’t really the penalty anyway.”

Sami (noticing what he had not said): “What exactly did he to you do when you were wrong, EJ?”

EJ (struggling with the words): “He’d…hit me. Just slapping. He was careful not to do any damage. Didn’t hurt much.”

Sami (not willing to press the point further): “And then?”

EJ (warning her): “I had…I had to get a lot wrong first.”

Sami (understanding): “Okay.”

EJ (spilling out): “That was first. I did that a lot. It was all their fault anyway. Stupid Bradys and their overlapping multiple preferences. Can’t just have one person like one thing. And no one could just stay in Salem either, always had to have people moving in and out of town all the time. So I got them nearly all wrong. That happened first. Then Father would take me down to the storage chest in one of the spare rooms and put me in there. It was large enough for me, and I could see that he had made it more comfortable than it would have been otherwise, so he had been planning on it. He locked me in. Not that I would have been able to get out anyway. I tried. The locks just made sure. And then later he would come to get me.”

Sami (patiently): “How long were you in there?”

EJ (calm): “I don’t know. I tried to keep track, but I couldn’t. Hours? It always seemed to be a very long time. It was dark. I could breathe fine, but it was dark. I couldn’t see right.”

EJ (absently): “I didn’t like it very much.”

Sami (imagining): “I would think not.”

EJ (remembering): “I didn’t expect Father to do that the first time…I was inconsolable afterwards.”

EJ (slipping): “Because the shadows were wrong.”

Shutting down again, EJ stares at the opposite wall. Sami gives him a few moments before attempting to banish the distant expression that has fallen on his face.

Sami (prompting once more): “So then what happened?”

At the sound of her voice, EJ starts slightly.

EJ (trying to refocus): “He had to take me on holiday for a week. Somewhere warm, white sand. I remember thinking that I had never seen water that clear before. No studying, no training, only playing. Just us. It was very nice, very relaxing. I was able to talk again afterwards. So when we came back, I told Stefano how I wouldn’t be able to do that again, and he said he’d help me.”

EJ (yawning): “Some sort of tranquilizer/hypnotic cocktail, I assume. So I could calm down enough to concentrate. Be the logical choice. I never asked. Didn’t need to. Father knew what he was doing.”

Sami (going along): “Of course.”

Wondering how much of EJ’s composure was his natural disposition and how much was his indoctrination, Sami fails to notice that her husband’s demeanor has changed.

EJ (rationalizing): “That’s why he had to start the injections, so I was able to get used to it. Because it wasn’t so bad after that. Not really.”

Recalling how much easier the forced confinement was with the assistance, the corner of EJ’s mouth turns up.

EJ (lapsing): “Because…because he was right. He did help. I felt better. I could do it then. I was right to tell him. He fixed it.”

Sami (unable to stop herself): “What was the point of all that?”

EJ (disconnected): “Always meant something.”

Sami (not following): “And this was?”

EJ (crystal clear to him): “Two exercises in one.”

Sami (still not getting it): “Which were?”

EJ (rolling his head to his side): “Avoid punishment, gain control, punishment and control.”

Sami (now hearing the change in his voice): “EJ?”

EJ (pouring over the concepts): “Punishment control, control punishment.”

Sami (concerned at his attention): “EJ? EJ, are you okay?”

EJ (not listening): “Learned both. Needed to know both. And I did. I did.”

EJ suddenly grins and takes both of Sami’s hands in his, intertwining their arms together and pulling her towards him.

EJ (unable to hold out any longer): “I did. Because I am a good boy.”

Unable to resist succumbing to the feelings that surrounded the facts he had been explaining to her, EJ draws the well worn blanket of his broken thought patterns around himself. He has made sense of the senseless, and his promise to himself still holds.

EJ (relieved as he looks into her eyes): “I am. You think so too.”

At the sight of EJ smiling beside her, Sami hides her unreasonable disappointment at him and her anger at herself for expecting something else, no matter how improbable. Once again she sees the layer upon layer of injury that one conversation will not be able to erase.

Sami (unwilling to break his satisfaction): “Yes, I do.”

EJ repeats the phrase to himself reassuringly several times, the internal battle for autonomous control momentarily lost.

Sami (wondering as she watches him): “What is a good boy, EJ?”

EJ (answering): “I am one. For you.”

EJ shyly looks at Sami and innocently kisses her on the cheek.

Sami (quietly): “Me?”

EJ (openly as he slurs the word): “Always.”

Spent, EJ bends down and leans against Sami. She is surprised as he is able to somehow manage to both curl up against her yet not burden her with supporting his frame. As he rests his head against hers, Sami allows EJ to gently rock both of them, feeling his calm grow through the repetitive motion.

EJ (mumbling): “Samantha?”

Sami (simply): “Yes, EJ?”

EJ (barely audible): “Done? No more talking?”

Sami moves to gently wrap her arms around the severely scarred boy who shares space with the man she is proud to call her husband.

Sami (confirming): “No more talking.”

He had given, and she had listened. She had helped him. Not nearly enough, but a little. Wondering if he would be able to sleep soundly again, Sami is astonished by EJ interrupting her thoughts.

EJ (closing his eyes): “Okay. Maybe later.”

Wednesday, April 23rd, 2008

“I thought you were EJ.” Oh, not even close. Yet why is John still hot after coming back from the gym, and why does he think this is an appropriate way to walk around in front of his guests? And for future reference, this is too much chest hair, Days. In addition, quit the mildly oblique John and EJ allusions unless you’re actually willing to give the subject matter the weight it deserves. There is simply no comparison between Stefano brainwashing an adult and abusing his own son for decades. Don’t diminish the cruelty EJ had to endure.

“Was EJ still at the gym when you left?” Aw, you miss him, don’t you, Sami?
“Is Samantha here?” “I don’t want her to know I’m home.” It’s a bad ABC sitcom! But I don’t blame EJ for not wanting to get berated again.

Ah, EJ looked so sad here trudging up the steps alone with his trusty newspaper by his side. I’m sorry; I wish you could slaughter John and Marlena too.

“Mom... you know what I'm talking about.” Because it’s not creepy at all to talk about lingerie with your mother.

“I do think you should be honest about your own feelings, though.” Marlena, as much as we would love to see Sami jump into EJ’s open arms next episode, that’s really not how this soap tries to tell stories. Sami will be “torn” for a while yet.
“I firmly believe that people can change, and I think he's trying. I mean, it's not 180 degrees, but he's coming along.” And let us be thankful it’s not 180 degrees! Evil EJ 2008! New and improved sizzling summer evil!
“EJ sacrificed his relationship with his father in order to help us. That's huge.” Thank you, show. And hey, Marlena, in order to balance out that part of you that will always hate EJ, why don’t you tell him about incapacitating his father so a part of him always hates you.

“I was not eavesdropping.” Although I’m pleased you totally denied it, yes, you were. It’s one of your favorite activities, Gray EJ, and you’re awesome at it.
“I was not standing there. I happened to be walking from point "a" to point "b." Maybe you'd like it if I wore a little bell around my neck so you can hear me coming.” Although I liked the hell hound crack better, someone is 2 for 2. Keep it up.
“Slugger here this morning decided to see if she could rearrange Nicole's face.” Also not bad. The correlation between evilness and wit could not be clearer, could it?

“Maybe you should listen to your mother, Samantha.”

I'm clawing at your skin
You gotta let me in

Yes, keep confronting her about her love for you, and she will eventually break.

Grade: A-. Blatant ecological corporate mandates behind us, we are back in business, and it’s good times here with the Marlena Ejami plug. Quite a difference from back in October when she said EJ had a black heart. Ah, direction changes. And what a pleasure to see you, Gray EJ. Please keep EJ on this darker personality path. Instead of slipping back to Summer EJ like you did at the health club, how about we have some fun in the sun and go forward to Evil EJ, eh? We could watch him relax on the beach…after he’s buried someone in the sand.

EJ Boxing Clip on Hulu

Just mute the sound so you don't have to listen to all the "Biggest Loser" promotion, and watch EJ boxing in the background at the beginning and end of this.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008

I liked the health club better when it was ominous.

I said back in March "Yes, as much as I like the long sleeved t-shirts, I want some variety in the colors he wears. What about a forest green one?"

On one hand, I pity the poor intern who is stuck reporting on my insipid rambling. On the other, I would like that “EJ takes a shower” scene and more wisecracks by EJ, please. And if he could be evil again too, that’d be great. And if you’d like to do something extra special for me, have EJ reference Metallica…or Megadeth. I’m flexible.

“Oh, the setting -- you know, the ‘hounds of hell chomping at my behind’ setting.” I’d try between the imps and the lesser demons, EJ. And yes, this joke was the highlight of the episode. It was all quickly downhill from here.

“Not surprising to see you with a bottle of water in your hand. I hope it's sewer water.” Dude! The obvious joke to make here is that it’s not water but vodka. Le sigh.

“And I am not interested in helpful hints from someone who's only ever babied a high-powered hybrid engine.” Because driving a car for sport doesn’t waste natural resources at all. I also seem to remember a certain Evil EJ making fun of Sami’s desire for a Green Wedding. But whatever NBC Universal wants, NBC Universal gets, eh? I saw the press release. Honestly, all the blatant Earth Day plugging in this episode really grated on me. One should go green because one genuinely cares about the environment, not because the media subsidiary of GE told them to care.

“And Elvis.” Try mostly Elvis. And thank you, Maggie, for getting on the “Let’s call EJ Elvis” bandwagon. See who else you can convince, please.

“Their mommy is married to the wrong man and living the wrong life.” Reminding us of Lucas’ inevitable return? Oh, certainly. But moreover, this gets at the heart of the matter when it comes to Sami. Being married to EJ and living with him in the DiMansion with the twins doesn’t fit her vision of what her life is supposed to be like-it doesn’t currently matter to her that it’s a wonderful, fulfilling life in its own right and also infinitely better than the alternative. Lucas coming back will allow her to make a side by side comparison so she can let go of the fantasy of the man she sees Lucas as and embrace the reality of the man EJ is.

Let’s see, no real divorce talk, no jokes, no plot advancement or characterization…could it be any more apparent that we are just killing time here?

“I don't know if it was EJ's or Lucas'.” Don’t worry; the show doesn’t either.

Bad show! Bad, bad!

Grade: You know how people dismissively say “Man, that episode was awful; it was like watching Days of Our Lives” when they want to disparage a television show? This is what they are talking about. You want to do silly situations instead of meaningful depth, fine. But this utter garbage is not how you do that. We had Standing Around EJ, Raging Sami, and Dumb Nicole. C+ for EJ’s shirt, the joke, and the Elvis reference, F for everything else.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Monday, April 21st, 2008

Jeans? Casual Monday at the office we’re never going to see, huh, EJ? And I am LOVING the hair and the outfit. Excellent look.

“Let me get a sweater.” Light Gray EJ is the hot, young British Mr. Rogers!
And “I don't have any other income, Samantha.” Because Nicole is the only person on the planet willing to take a chance on hiring a race car driver/CEO/lawyer apparently.

“This hat?” That weird beret thing? Seriously, Sami, it’s a little too early to push career paths on your children.

“Well, then I guess it's clear where your priorities lay.” LIE! Lay needs a direct object. I will come over there and make you diagram sentences, Days.

“Oh, you gave me a choice? That rings a bell, eh?” Now there’s that familiar hit to the face; I missed that with the strike writers.

Grade: No reason to be upset here. This isn’t fighting; it’s banter. How many times did EJ laugh during this? I liked the light tone, EJ looked fantastic, and the daytime lighting was very nice, but on the other hand, EJ being amused by Sami’s jealously of Nicole isn’t particularly memorable subject matter either. B+.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

EJ Clip on Hulu

It's April 16th when Jawn tells EJ about Sami's jealousy of Nicole.

There's also a good shot of EJ's assets in this clip.

For Better or Worse

Having secretly married Sami in Vegas, Evil EJ catches her alone after the Lumi Green Wedding reception.

Sami (shocked): "What-what are you doing here, EJ?"

Evil EJ (insulted): "It's certainly not to be punched in the face again."

Sami (anrgy): "I'm married to Lucas!"

Evil EJ (not caring): "Of course you are, darling, and I allowed it to make you happy by making your family happy. But you're coming home with me."

Evil EJ takes Sami by the arm and hauls her off.

Try the Game of Trust

Later that day, after the twins have been put to sleep, EJ and Sami are both lying underneath the covers of their bed. EJ is resting on his side as Sami is quietly reading Allure and surreptitiously watching her husband. Unable to stand it any longer, EJ finally relents and turns back towards his wife.

EJ (drawing out the syllables as he pushes a pillow away): “Sa-man-tha.”

Sami (pretending): “I’m sorry. Did I wake you?”

EJ (scoffing): “I wish. How am I possibly supposed to fall asleep with you staring at me?”

Sami (holding up her visual aid): “No, I wasn’t. I was reading.”

EJ (dryly): “Of course you were, which is why you haven’t moved on from that photo spread for the last twenty minutes. Sweetheart, what ever happened to not making me do anything?”

Sami (tossing the magazine onto the nightstand): “I haven’t done anything.”

EJ (raising an eyebrow): “Studying me like some sort of science experiment isn’t anything?”

Sami (insulted): “I’m waiting, EJ.”

EJ (disagreeing): “No, you are prompting. You want me to react to you.”

Sami (resolute): “No, I am waiting. For you to want to tell me, just like we agreed.”

Hearing her words, EJ considers Sami.

EJ (moving his hand to play with her hair): “Okay.”

Sami (confused): “Okay?”

EJ (smiling): “You win.”

Sami (surprised): “I do?”

EJ (confirming): “Yes.”

Sami (excited): “Really?”

EJ (chuckling): “Yes, really. You know how hard it is for me to say no to you.”

Sami (proud): “Because I’m irresistible.”

EJ (agreeing): “You are. But talking about my childhood is very difficult for me, and I would appreciate if you kept that in mind, eh?”

Sami (sincerely): “I understand, EJ.”

Her agreement obtained, EJ sinks back into the bed and closes his eyes for a moment before opening them again.

EJ (looking at her for guidance): “I’m not sure where to start, really.”

Sami (taking his hand): “Anything is fine.”

EJ (nodding slightly): “All right.”

EJ (seriously): “This was when I was younger. We were sitting in my room. My father, and I, I mean. Anyway, we were on the floor, and it was my turn. He kept looking at me, watching me. There was so much pressure. I knew I couldn’t disappoint him. So I made my decision and took action. Unfortunately, it was for naught. The result was clear, and there was no avoiding it. I was stuck in the molasses swamp.”

Realizing what he is talking about, Sami’s jaw drops, and she hits EJ with a nearby pillow.

Sami (laughing): “You ingrate!”

EJ (mock seriously): “And even now every time I pour syrup, I flashback to that horrifying afternoon.”

Sami (shaking her head): “You did not play Candy Land with Stefano.”

EJ (pretending to wonder): “Did I? You’ll never know.”

Sami (giggling): “Oh, come on! Tell me something that really happened.”

EJ (propping himself up with one elbow as he points): “Samantha, you don’t want something. You want the ghastly tale of how innocent young Elvis was tortured by his wicked father. And not only was it not like that, but it’d take years to explain to you what being raised as a DiMera actually means.”

Sami (annoyed): “It’s not like I was planning on going anywhere.”

EJ (wryly): “Of course not. But you have a very creative mind, darling. So why don’t you amuse yourself? I’m certain whatever you could imagine would be better than anything I could tell you.”

Sami (agreeing): “I’m sure it would be better. That’s the problem.”

EJ (irritated): “Only because you insist on making it one. You keep nagging me about this, and I’ll fake some more memories.”

Knowing that EJ would make good on his threat, Sami moves closer to him.

Sami (stroking his arm): “Why can’t you talk about it?”

EJ (throwing up his hands): “Why would I talk about it?”

Sami (imploring): “We can go slowly. You need to share this with me, EJ.”

EJ (gesturing broadly): “Why?”

Sami (worried): “So you feel better.”

EJ (exasperated): “I already do.”

Still stalemated, husband and wife stare at each other.

EJ (declaring): “My dear, I’ll do you a deal. How about we skip the reminiscing and go right to the comforting part, eh?”

Seizing the initiative, EJ moves closer to Sami and, before she can object, places his hands on her chest and thigh.

Sami (enjoying the attention): “I can see right through this transparent plan to distract me, EJ.”

EJ (nuzzling the back of her neck): “Yet it’s still working.”

Sami (seeing she’s getting nowhere with him): “All right, all right. No more prompting.”

EJ (moving his head to kiss her on the side of hers): “Damn right no more prompting.”

Sami (laughing as she returns his affection): “Just let me know when you’re ready, okay?”

EJ (certain): “I will…because that day is never going to come.”

Wednesday, April 16th, 2008

“She couldn't sleep. I sing to her.” You know, show, if you’re just going to tell me about this instead of showing me, you really don’t need to bother. I can imagine stuff like this just fine. And Sami, you selfish bitch. EJ’s the one with the job, yet you pawn caring for your daughter off to him and then berate him loving her? Seriously.

“And then I'm still living in this creepy house with the next generation of the evilest family to ever hit Salem.” Isn’t it great? I’ve wanted this for you for years. And it’s a mansion, Sami.

“Elvis and I may be evil DiMeras,” I still don’t like you, John, but do I admit you suck less as Jawn, and major props for getting on the “Let’s call EJ Elvis” bandwagon. See who else you can convince for me.

“She definitely is a low-life slut who's never met a man or a wallet she didn't like. What? It's true.” I heartily endorse the disapproving look EJ gives Sami here. See, Sami, you are Mrs. Elvis DiMera now, and she’s a classy woman. Refined ladies insult with more finesse. Did you see how Gray EJ degraded Nicole twice yesterday? Do it like that.

“You're a resourceful attorney.” Jawn, we already have one incest couple on the show. No more hitting on Intellectual EJ please.

Wake the sleeping giant
Wake the beast

“Samantha, we are through talking about this. I am taking the case” and “I'm the head of my family.” Oh, yeah. You put your woman in her place, EJ. I also liked how you wanted to take off with your wife and kids, and Sami actually cares about you providing for your family and not living off of her imaginary savings like with all her other loser significant others since she fought you on it.

All is not as it seems…aka fill in the holes in the story yourself, kiddies. I know I do. You want to read into the chess moves; be my guest. All I know is that neither Stefano’s nor EJ’s playing with that thing amounted to jack.

“I'd really rather you stop messing with my head.” No, that’s you, Sami. You like being married to the next generation of evil DiMera, don’t you?

“Never say I don't look out for my family.” I thought this entire EJ and John exchange was worded poorly except for this line, but hey, it establishes that Sami doesn’t want to share EJ with anyone, so whatever.

Grade: Nice. The structure could use a little work, but I loved the evil tone of this episode with the insensitive Ejami interaction over Nicole, and we even got a decent pop culture reference joke. But hands down the best part of this was basking in the harsh glow of the Evil EJ glares. He’s still in there. I hope he comes out to play. Evil EJ/Gray EJ A, Sami A-, Jawn B+.

Tuesday, April 15th, 2008

Hey, Days? This is the exact opposite of what I want to see on the show.

Why don’t we see EJ’s side of the convo like we normally do? Because they’d actually have to show his bedroom in the DiMansion and with the set crunch, he doesn’t have one. Yet another lost opportunity.

“ I still can't believe he's even a real lawyer.” Actually as far as retcons go, this is a very reasonable one.
“He's real all right. I checked him out online. He graduated from Cambridge with top honors.” Of course he did. So it’s decided then. EJ majored in history at Oxford for his undergrad and then went to Cambridge Law School.
“Was that before or after he was a famous racecar driver?” Look, Philip, TPTB wanted EJ as the new Stefano. Originally there was never any intent to develop his character beyond being the Son of the Phoenix. Just go with it.

“It seems to be a bit of a trend with you, doesn't it?” “Whether or not this woman is or is not the biggest pain that any man had the misfortune to ever stumble across does not affect her rights.” Insults? And calling Philip “Big Man” and “my boy” dismissively? Someone needs to wake you up in the middle of the night more often, EJ. And I approve of the dark gray outfit.

Grade: Gray EJ A-, Phicole B+. I’m still a Phloer, but Phicole is officially my Philip backup plan over Phorgan now. And Days gets an F for no Sleepy Bedhead EJ.