Monday, May 26, 2008

Monday, May 26th, 2008

Now this is how you drink evilly. Philip, take note. And of course EJ doesn’t care about the commotion down at the docks. He has thinking to do.

“Enjoy the demonic suit while you can, Carpe. I’m barely in this episode.”

“You're the love of my life. There will never be another you. I thought you knew that.” Never mind those fourteen years I spent chasing after your sister.
“Thank God you missed.” So we’re retconning Wheelchair EJ then? That would be a good thing as that means the bullet is no longer stuck in EJ’s back. Permission granted.

Oh, what I would not do for Bricole right now.

“What about EJ's insane acts? Mr. Rapist-that's not insane?”

Mr. Rapist
Bring me post traumatic stress disorder
Bum bum bum bum bum

But seriously, Days, don’t get cute. Leave it alone! It won’t heal otherwise.

“You are a very resourceful person. You could have found another way to take care of that. But you didn't, did you? I mean, you're attracted to him, right? So when he gave you the ultimatum, you just took it and you ran with it, because that's what you wanted the whole time.” Given the lovely nickname you just gave EJ, this means you are blaming Sami for being raped. Bravo, Lucas, I think you’ve achieved a new level of stupidity.
“I was just trying to hurt you.” As always. Makes you feel important, doesn’t it?

“Half a million worth of cocaine.” Talk about a smack in the face that Days’ morality laws have been repealed. Even General Hospital is clear to reiterate that neither Sonny nor Jason approve of drug trafficking.

“I warned you over and over. I told you how he works. He's a snake. He worms his way into your life... takes over your heart. The next thing you know, Sami, he got to you,” “The guy is a manipulative, destructive son of Stefano,” “It's probably another DiMera trick or something, Sami” and “He was doing it for you-to impress you, to soften you up so he could seduce you even more.” What do you know, Lucas and I are on the same page when it comes to EJ. Yes, that is exactly what Evil EJ is doing, and it is glorious.
“Lucas, he didn't seduce me...he didn't trick me...and he didn't manipulate me. I wanted him.” Yes, Sami, but EJ put you in the exact position where you would open yourself up him. He set you up.

Jawn the Pawn, complete with Kung Fu action grip!

“Drugs? In one of John's containers? Really? What are you talking about? No, I am not smiling widely-I was trying to hold a sneeze back.”

“Whoa, Elvis.” Another on the “Let’s call EJ Elvis” bandwagon. See who else you can convince, Nicole.
“Nicole, for the last time, I am not going home with you, all right?” You tell her, EJ, especially since home for her is the Kiriakis mansion with Victor and Chloe and Philip which would be rather awkward.

“He was so sweet and adorable and loving.” And what does it say that Evil EJ is a warmer man than you are, Lucas?
“I just want you to understand that EJ has changed.” You just keep thinking that, Sami.
“He was compassionate and patient and tolerant and understanding, and he was so good with the twins.” Evil EJ is a wonderful husband and father.
“I don't want to hear about your sweet, tender rock.” Sweet, tender rock? I guess EJ is pumice then, although obsidian or scoria also work.

“I do have feelings for EJ, but they will go away if you and I start over. Because no matter, Lucas, you are the love of my life. You always have been. And I just am begging you to give me the chance to prove that to you, to prove to you that I mean what I say.” Too bad for Lucas that you’re a pathological liar, Sami, because you never mean what you say. But good for EJ and yourself.

“EJ isn't the only one who's changed.” Yes, Heroine Sami is finally dying.
“You're acting like a complete fool. You're falling for his scam.” Go Evil EJ’s diabolical plan!
“It's not a scam.” Yes, it is. And it’s lovely.
“It is a scam. He's playing you, just as he always has, but this time it's working, isn't it?” Yup. Gotta love those direction changes. Scheming to win the girl never would have been allowed to actually work before.
“No, I don't think we can get back together. I don't think we can start over.” Die, Lumi, die!

Grade: C. Barely any Demonic Suit EJ, and watching Lumi is painful. Seriously, it’s 2000 or 2002 or 2004 again. Sami’s “screwed up,” Lucas won’t forgive her, and Sami’s got to grovel to win him back until she inevitably does something he doesn’t like again, and the pattern repeats itself. Time for EJ to break the cycle.