Monday, March 31, 2008

Do You Have a First-Aid Kit Handy?

Ejami is sitting at their kitchen table in the middle of the night. EJ is telling Sami about his DiMera upbringing.

Sami (trying to understand): "So, you had to know everything about us? About all the Bradys?"

EJ (explaining): "Yes. Father wanted to make sure that I was prepared. I had to know every possible detail about everyone."

Sami (confused): "Even I don't know that much about our family. How could you possibly do that?"

EJ (chuckling in spite of himself): "Well...I made flashcards."

Sami (disbelieving): "Flashcards?"

EJ (rubbing his neck): "Yes, I wrote carefully everything down and spent hours quizzing myself before Stefano would test me."

Sami (eyes widening): "EJ..."

EJ (defensive): "It wasn't that bad. I have a good memory."

Sami (concerned): "I know you do. But what happened when you answered wrong, when you didn't remember?"

EJ doesn't answer as he looks away and down at the floor. After several minutes of silence, Sami anxiously waits for him to speak again.

EJ (quietly): "Nothing I didn't deserve. I should have studied harder."

Alarmed at the far away look in EJ's eyes, Sami speaks softly yet forcefully.

Sami (imploringly): "It wasn't your fault, EJ. That's insane. He's insane. He should have never made you do any of that."

EJ (looking upward and over at her): "True, but I admit it did come in useful later on-"

Sami (reaching out for him as she shakes her head): "No. That wasn't okay. He must have done something to you-how did he hur-"

EJ (jerking away from her touch): "I don't want to talk about this any longer, all right?"

Sami (worried): "EJ, I know it's hard-"

EJ (staring at her): "No, you don't. And it doesn't matter in any case."

EJ swallows with difficulty as he looks around uneasily.

EJ (suddenly getting up): "I'm sorry, Samantha, but I'm exhausted. I'm going back to bed."

Sami (one last time): "Wait, EJ. Why don't I make you some-"

EJ purposely cuts her off midsentence by kissing her on the top of her head.

EJ (stonewalling): "Good night, darling."

EJ leaves the room. Once he is out of earshot, Sami sighs as she realizes that repairing the emotional damage to her husband is going to be even more difficult than she expected.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Hasta La Vista, Baby

Ejami frantically hurries to stop the T-1000 invasion of Salem.

Sami (beyond anxious): "They're almost on top of us, EJ! What in the world are you waiting for?!"

EJ (tense as his hands dance across the equipment): "Excuse me if reverse engineering a ham radio into a device able to communicate with SkyNet takes a bit longer than your little test results scheme did."

Sami (narrowing her eyes): "At least I have a killswitch signal for the machines to show for it unlike some peopl-"

EJ (interrupting): "Eureka! Got it!"

Behind Ejami, all the T-1000s immediately stop and power off as the shut down command has been received.

EJ (triumphantly): "Fantastic! We did it, darling!"

Sami (grinning): "Oh, EJ!"

Ejami hug each other in relief.

Man in Black

Sami enters Ejami's bedroom only to find EJ relaxing on the bed. Sami smiles in surprise as she notices the black silk pajamas he's wearing.

Sami (enjoying the view): "EJ?"

EJ (raising his eyebrow devilishly): "I very well can't pretend to be good all the time, sweetheart."

Tuesday, March 25, 2008


Okay, Ejami is not alone, but close enough! I wonder what are the scenes that go with these.

And Then There Were Two

While there's plenty of places on the internet to talk about Ejami, as far as I knew, I was the only Ejami blog.

Until now.

Shanice has started Ejami Heaven at Check out the nice video clips and montages!

Monday, March 24, 2008

Ejami Solidarity Banners

Want to show your allegiance to the Dark Side or proclaim that Ejami is magical? Feel free to use my banners wherever you'd like.

Monday, March 24th, 2008

"And we told our mailperson, our hairdresser, our tax attorney...that homeless guy we pass at the library every day..."

Oh, yes, Shawn and Sami were so tight, after all And what's up with Sami's outfit? I like how the color of the sweater brings out her eyes, but otherwise, talk about a boring wasteland.

'Girls night out just won't be the same.' Well, considering last time was you and Belle eating ice cream together, I suppose actually including Sami for once is a change, isn't it?

Other people would find this touching...I am not one of them. Get away before you catch any more of their hypocritical goodness, Sami!

Grade: I feel sorry for the Shelle fans, but otherwise eh. C.

The Enemy Within

Locking the door behind him, Good EJ arrives at his apartment only to find it seemingly empty.

Good EJ (calling out): “Hello?”

Good EJ is met by silence as no one responds. After a minute, he moves into the living room.

Good EJ (louder): “Guys? Is anyone here?”

Unsure if anyone is home, Good EJ moves over to the bedroom hallway, cracks open the door, and peeks into Evil Crazy EJ and Samantha’s room only to see that Evil Crazy EJ is asleep with his arms wrapped around his Samantha doll.

Good EJ (to himself): “Okay, he’s taking a nap…but where is everyone else? They wouldn’t leave him alone by himself.”

Good EJ moves into Gray EJ’s room next and sees that he’s not there. Annoyed and unwilling to waste more time searching, Good EJ looks around and sighs.

Good EJ (shaking his head): “Figures. Evil EJ calls me out of the blue and insists we have to have an all EJ emergency meeting immediately, yet I’m the only one here ready for it. Now-mphfff!”

In one flowing motion, Evil EJ and Gray EJ appear from their hiding places and grab Good EJ as Evil EJ holds a rag with chloroform over Good EJ’s nose and mouth. Overwhelmed by the drug, Good EJ offers little resistance, and with their mission quickly accomplished, both Evil EJ and Gray EJ step back and let Good EJ’s body drop to the floor.

Evil EJ (pleased): “Sweet dreams, buttercup.”

With the remark delivered, Evil EJ and Gray EJ awkwardly stare at Good EJ’s unconscious form and each other for several moments.

Gray EJ (surprised): “That was easy.”

Evil EJ (scoffing): “Of course it was.”

Gray EJ (wondering): “Maybe…too easy?”

Evil EJ (irritated): “Do you doubt my competence?”

Gray EJ (defensive): “No. It’s just…I mean, it seems…”

Evil EJ (narrowing his eyes): “What?”

Gray EJ (treading very lightly): “I don’t know…a little…anticlimatic?”

Evil EJ (exasperated): “What did you expect? Some elaborate fight sce-”

Suddenly Good EJ raises his head and rises off of the floor, shocking both Evil EJ and Gray EJ. Caught by surprise, Evil EJ is unprepared to stop Good EJ as Good EJ grabs Evil EJ by his left arm and flips him across the room, knocking him into the opposite wall. Moving to neutralize the lesser threat next, Good EJ then moves over to Gray EJ and grabs him by the back of his neck.

Good EJ (sneering): “You pathetic lackey. You do whatever he says, don’t you?”

Gray EJ screams horrifically as Good EJ rams his head into the side of the nearby endtable and then slumps onto the floor. Watching his partner in crime taken out of the game, Evil EJ’s gaze hardens as he quickly collects himself and gets back on his feet.

Good EJ (challenging): “You really should have brought Hero EJ instead.”

Evil EJ (standing his ground): “Even with your increased strength from Samantha’s pure love, I can still take you, princess.”

Good EJ makes the first move as Evil EJ defends against the incoming uppercut, and the two men dissolve into a blur of motion. A flurry of punches, jabs, pushes, and blows are exchanged as neither EJ holds back from unleashing their pure hatred of the other. The battle drags on as Evil EJ fights with every dirty trick he can think of, barely keeping Good EJ’s superior physical strength at bay. Ultimately, this imbalance proves to be too much for him as Good EJ clamps both of his hands around Evil EJ’s neck. Enjoying his advantage, Good EJ rams Evil EJ into the side wall as Evil EJ frantically searches for a way to escape before he passes out.

Good EJ (slamming Evil EJ’s head against the wall): “What, no caustic remarks? Oh, wait, your vile mind didn’t expect this, did it? Didn’t think I was smart enough to know what you were up to? Didn’t believe I could hold my breath and fake being unconscious? I’ve been planning this just as long as you have. That’s why I’ve been acting like a lobotomy patient on screen the past couple of weeks-to lull you into a false sense of security.”

Evil EJ (pushing back against Good EJ’s hold): “Just as I have underestimated you, you underestimate me. You’re not going to win this, you one trick pony.”

Good EJ (relishing Evil EJ squirm): “Seems to me I already have. You can’t beat me. You remember our little chat a while back where you told me, ‘Enjoy Samantha while it lasts?’ Unfortunately for you, I have no intention of ever giving her up, much less subjecting her to your depravity.”

Evil EJ (adamant): “And you’re going to do what exactly? You can’t kill me.”

Good EJ (the light shining in his eyes): “No, I can’t. But a full body cast and intractable coma sounds about right to me.”

Evil EJ (beyond enraged): “And you call yourself a good man?! You self-righteous sanctimonious hypocrite!”

Good EJ (hissing as he slams Evil EJ’s head on the wall again): “On the contrary! I’ve had a lot of time to think about our situation, and getting rid of you is the only option. You’re the reason Gray EJ and Evil Crazy EJ don’t listen to me. They follow right behind your corrupting influence. In order to save them, I have to remove you. And if I thought I could bring you over to the light too, I’d find a way to eradicate the blackness etched into your soul. But I know that’s never going to happen…so I’ve been looking forward to this, you disgusting, worthless snake.”

Suddenly Good EJ howls in pain as Evil Crazy EJ sinks his teeth into Good EJ’s right leg. Forced to deal with the pure agony in his limb, Good EJ twists and kicks Evil Crazy EJ and Samantha away from him as they detach in order to bite him again. Taking advantage of the misdirection, Evil EJ breaks the hold on his neck, pushes Good EJ away from him, and draws his gun out from beneath his suit jacket. Flipping the weapon in his hand, he grabs the barrel and backhands Good EJ across the face. As Good EJ stumbles backward, Evil EJ hits his opponent again and again, sheer rage burning in his eyes. Eventually Good EJ drops to his knees from the relentless assult and fearfully looks up at Evil EJ.

Good EJ (pleading): “Please…please don’t…I-I’m sorry.”

Without hesitation, Evil EJ pistolwhips Good EJ one final time. Reeling from the blow, Good EJ’s eyes roll back into his head, and his body drops to the floor with a thud.

Evil EJ (darkly): “I’m not.”

Wiping the blood off his chin in one smooth motion and then massaging his neck, Evil EJ smirks in delight, savoring his victory over his archnemesis. Unharmed, Evil Crazy EJ crawls over and repeatedly hits Good EJ’s body with his Samantha doll.

Evil Crazy EJ (cheering on his wife): “That’s right, Samantha! Teach him a lesson!”

Evil EJ (mockingly to Gray EJ): “Happy now?”

Less than pleased with his lack of self-defense prowess, Gray EJ painfully pulls himself into a sitting position and places a hand against the gash on his forehead.

Gray EJ (wincing): “You’re right, the let down was better…ow.”

Evil EJ removes his black handkerchief from his pocket and cleans Good EJ’s blood off his firearm before reholstering it beneath his suit jacket.

Gray EJ (annoyed): “If you’re so good at bludgeoning with your gun, why didn’t you try that in the beginning?”

Evil EJ (quietly): “I almost didn’t bring it. I didn’t want to give myself the opportunity to do something I’d regret.”

Gray EJ’s eyes widen as he realizes that depending on the chosen aim, Evil EJ losing control and shooting Good EJ could be the death of all five EJs.

Gray EJ (exhaling): “Sorry I asked.”

Evil EJ (raising an eyebrow): “You should be.”

Ignoring Good EJ’s unconscious form, Evil EJ walks over to where Evil Crazy EJ has stopped hitting Good EJ and placed his Samantha into his lap.

Evil EJ (very grateful as he kneels down): “Thank you, Evil Crazy EJ.”

Evil EJ (talking to the doll): “Thank you, Samantha.”

Evil Crazy EJ (brightly): “You’re welcome! We are happy we could help!”

Samantha: “…”

Evil Crazy EJ (explaining): “Yes, sweetheart, when we heard Gray EJ scream like a little girl, we woke up and knew something was very wrong! So we came to the rescue! Samantha and I hesitated at first because we remembered what you told us about not biting people even though we are very good at it, but then we thought some more, and we decided that because Good EJ was a pansy and not a person, it was okay. So we distracted him!”

Evil EJ (agreeably): “And you did. Gray EJ and I didn’t mean to leave you out of this, but we didn’t want you or Samantha to get hurt. Turns out we needn’t have worried as we were the ones who needed your assistance, eh?”

Samantha: “…”

Evil Crazy EJ (nodding): “That’s right, my dear. You are a very good ninjitsu sensei.”

Still sitting on the floor, Gray EJ is somewhat disturbed that neither Evil EJ nor Evil Crazy EJ appear to be concerned about Good EJ bleeding profusely from his head and leg wounds.

Gray EJ (interrupting): “Um, we’re going to clean him up, right? I mean, he’ll get an infection or something if we don’t.”

Evil EJ (looking over at Gray EJ and frowning): “I suppose. I am not wasting my money on antibiotics or transfusions for little miss sunshine.”

Evil EJ (turning back to Evil Crazy EJ): “Now with Good EJ incapacitated, it’s time for your plan. Are you and Samantha ready?”

Grinning broadly, Evil Crazy EJ raises both hands in the air in victory.

Evil Crazy EJ (beyond excited): “YES! Samantha has been looking forward to this for weeks! We have all the sheet metal and the cotton candy pink paint and the hand blow torch and everything that you helped us pick out when we went to Lowe’s, the home improvement place!”

Evil EJ (smiling): “Well, now’s the time. Why don’t you start moving everything you two need into Good EJ’s room, and after I get Gray EJ cleaned up, we’ll move Good EJ in there and help you put the cage together.”

Evil Crazy EJ (getting up): “That sounds good to us. Samantha and I are grateful for the assistance. We will change out of our pajamas into our construction clothing as well.”

Samantha: “…”

Evil Crazy EJ (listening to his wife): “I think so too, darling. The decorative brass molding will be a very classy touch.”

Evil Crazy EJ and Samantha chat as they leave the room. After he extends himself to his full height, Evil EJ moves over to Gray EJ and offers his support as Gray EJ slowly stands.

Evil EJ (annoyed): “Being torn between the light and the darkness completely nullifies any fighting ability you should possess, doesn’t it? Could you be any less helpful?”

Gray EJ (groaning): “It’s not like I don’t try, you know.”

Evil EJ (rolling his eyes): “Oh, you try, alright. It’s the succeeding part you have a real problem with.”

Evil EJ assists Gray EJ as they move into the living room of the apartment. Gray EJ gratefully sits down on the couch as Evil EJ moves to grab the first aid kit out of the kitchen closet. Bringing it over to the coffee table, Evil EJ sits down on the couch next to Gray EJ and quickly patches up Gray EJ’s head wound.

Gray EJ (sitting still): “I have to say, Evil EJ, I appreciate you doing this because normally Hero EJ woul-AGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

Gray EJ screams in pain as Evil EJ puts way too much ointment on his injury.

Evil EJ (enjoying himself): “I probably should have mentioned that was going to sting a bit.”

Gray EJ (catching on): “You sick bastard. You’re enjoying hurting me.”

Evil EJ (chuckling): “You know me so well, yet you fall for it every time.”

Gray EJ (wincing): “So what now? After Good EJ is locked up, I mean.”

Evil EJ (applying a bandage to Gray EJ’s wound): “After I’m done with you, I’ll text Hero EJ that the plan was a success. I’m letting him go first since he needs so little time anyway, and we need to finish up things here. Instead of our new captive, he will be the one meeting Samantha and the twins at Roman’s place shortly, and I’ll pick up from him later tonight. As long as the twins cooperate, I’ve already got a lovely dinner and bubble bath planned.”

Gray EJ (tilting his head slightly): “She should appreciate that. I can tell you’re excited.”

Evil EJ (grinning): “You have no idea. Even if I cannot reveal all of my true colors.”

Finished with bandaging Gray EJ’s injury, Evil EJ puts the first aid supplies back into their kit and stands up. As Gray EJ rests for a moment, Evil EJ grabs his cell phone from his pocket, his thumb dancing over the keypad as he types out his message and sends it to Hero EJ. After a few moments, Hero EJ replies back, and Evil EJ smiles as he reads the response.

Evil EJ (moving towards Gray EJ’s room as he puts his cell phone away): “Hero EJ is on his way now, so come on. We need to get everything together before Good EJ wakes up, even if we’re going to tie him up in the meantime just in case. Evil Crazy EJ and Samantha will want him to awaken in the finished product for the maximum effect.”

Gray EJ (slowly getting off the couch and following as he grabs the first aid kit off the coffee table): “And we’re going to take care of his injuries so he doesn’t get gangrene or something, right?”

Evil EJ (dismissively as he waves his hand): “Yes, yes…must you remind me?”

Gray EJ (pointedly):“Someone has to. And speaking of which, now that you’re in charge again, you have to pretend to be good, Evil EJ. And you have to share Samantha with the rest of us.”

Evil EJ (sublimely): “I will. I promise.”

Friday, March 21, 2008

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Around This Day in Ejami History

Last March 21st, Sami was off being emotionally abused by her “soulmate” while Evil EJ was continuing All Black Suit Extravaganza 2007. Unfortunately, he was also stuck at Chez Rouge with Celeste in one of the most tedious conversations I’ve ever had to listen to on this soap.

Celeste: “Let me go, Elvis. I have to get home to my grandson and hit on my daughter’s love interest.”

Evil EJ: “Too bad, woman. You’re one of the few characters who will talk to me, and we’ve got fifteen minutes to kill. Speaking of which, you’re conspiring with Samantha to murder me, correct?”

Celeste: “No, of course not.”

Evil EJ: “Even though I have no motivation to do so and numerous reasons not to, I’m going to believe you so that when it’s revealed that you and I were working together, the audience is both surprised by our collaboration and ticked off that they bothered to pay attention to this intentionally misleading dialogue.”

Celeste: “By the way, where’s Alexandra? What have you done with her?”

Evil EJ: “She ran off with her boy toy. Now let me laugh evilly and thereby imply that I murdered her and Tek and buried them in a swamp without the show actually having to commit to anything, eh?”

Seriously, even Evil EJ got bored less than halfway into this and spent more time on his dinner than the conversation.

This Day in Ejami History

Last year on March 19th, Sami was idiotically preparing for her Green Wedding to Lucas.

Meanwhile, Evil EJ kicked off his two week "TPTB are making me wear my all black suit all day every day so the stupid audience knows I'm evil" extravaganza.

Later in the day, Ejami spent some lovely time together with Evil EJ complementing Sami and then appropriately threatening her after wittily making fun of her moronic wedding plans.

There was also a bunch of other useless crap with Lucas and Kate, but who cares about that when Evil EJ looks this smoldering?

Sunday, March 16, 2008

A Happy Little Evil Family

Wearing his all black suit, EJ is out with the twins when he runs into Hope.

EJ (smiling): "Good morning!"

Hope (surprised at his attire): "Ah, hello, EJ. Yes, it's a...a...beautiful day. So, um, where's Sami?"

EJ (explaining): "Samantha is getting her hair done, so I have the twins for the morning."

Hope (nodding): "Oh, well, that's nice. I, uh, I need to check on Bo at the hospital, so I need to go."

EJ (tilting his head): "Of course. I understand. I hope he's doing better."

Hope (eyeing him): "Me too. Goodbye."

EJ smiles nonthreateningly at her as Hope hurries away. Once she is out of sight, his smile turns into a devilish smirk.

EJ (to the twins): "See, I told you two this would be fun. Let's go scare Kayla next, eh?"

EJ Is Funny 6

This one took forever to put together not because I was having issues but due to a sheer lack of material. Good EJ needs to lose his Hannah Montana CD for a bit so Evil EJ can show up and rattle off some insults.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

The Road Thus Far

Since we’re in the middle of an Ejami drought, let’s take a trip down memory lane, shall we?

Ever since Sami Brady walked across the hall and EJ DiMera opened the door, the couple known as Ejami electrified the world. This exciting new pairing had the full support of TPTB from day one, and fans were excited to see where Days’ newest Supercouple would take them.

The Ejami romance heated up during the summer of 2006 with Ejami spending hours together laughing and chasing each other around the shores of Salem. They even won a cash prize for the most inappropriate beachwear.

Ejami’s love continued into the fall as the pair grew even closer while attending numerous events together like Metallica’s concert at the Salem Civic Center.

December 29th, 2006 was a hallmark day in Ejami’s history as EJ surprised Sami with a week long trip to Paris, and it was here, beneath the lights of the Eiffel Tower, EJ proposed to the woman he loved. Of course Sami instantly and happily accepted.

Befitting a man named after the King of Rock and Roll, EJ suggested that Ejami marry in Vegas, and Sami was so enthralled by the idea that less than two months after they were engaged, Ejami were married on Valentine’s Day 2007 in a small private ceremony where they wrote their own vows.

The two of them spent their long spring Honeymoon sunning themselves on the beach in Saint-Tropez, having just got back from plundering the casinos in Monte Carlo. They drank Bordeaux while feeding each other grapes, and it was very fun. As Somerset Maugham said, "the French Riviera is a very sunny place populated by very shady people."

After their excursions in Europe, Ejami decided to take a summer road trip across the United States in order to visit Sami’s twin brother in Colorado. Alas, EJ and Sami were ambushed and captured by demons. But fortunately for our favorite couple, Eric arrived just in the nick of time to prevent them from being possessed.

After being injured in the Demon War, EJ was hospitalized and sent back to the East Coast for medical treatment. Drawing on his vast DiMera racing fortune, he hired top specialists from around the country, and with his wife by his side, he made a complete recovery.

Having recently learned of Ejami’s union through the local paper, EJ’s father lashed out in anger and banished our intrepid couple to the red planet. But the joke was on Stefano as Ejami was shocked to learn that Mars not only had a breathable nitrogen/oxygen atmosphere but an entire advanced civilization of Martians hidden beneath the planet’s crust.

Hitching a ride back to Earth with some Martian tourists, Ejami found themselves stuck on a deserted island for a month before being able to hail a passing cruise ship.

Ejami arrived back in Salem only to land in the middle of a T-1000 invasion. But by combining EJ’s ham radio communication skills and Sami’s test result switching abilities, the two were able to turn SkyNet against itself, saving Earth from future machine facilitated genocide.

With The War Against The Machines averted, Ejami settled down to several months of quiet in order to prepare for the birth of their twins. EJ and Sami were overjoyed upon welcoming Johnny and Ali DiMera into their family, and as soon as the twins were old enough, they took them on a long trip to Disney World.

Upon returning to Salem, Ejami took their rightful place as Days’ first villain supercouple, wreaking havoc upon the town according to their capricious whims. They stand today as a magnificent example of how evil always triumphs over good.

As we expectantly look towards the future, where will Ejami take us rabid Ejami fans next? Only they know, but we can’t wait to find out!

Friday, March 14, 2008

NBC = Not Basically Craptacular?

So NBC and FOX's joint online video venture Hulu is out of beta, and while they don't have full episodes (I suspect because Sony is selling those on iTunes), they do have Days and accordingly Ejami clips. For instance, here's the kickass Ejami hug:

They also have Sami trying to slap EJ, but I wish they had continued the clip and included EJ pulling Sami towards him.

One of the really nice things about this service is that you can adjust the length of the clips that you embed elsewhere. For instance, here's the only good part of the freezer incident where EJ tells Sami he loves her for the first time (you have to love the sinister music behind this moment, heh).

Disclaimer: Only Americans can view these clips, which is exactly the kind of idiocy I do expect from broadcast television.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Pact of Righteousness

Just out of sight on the fire escape, Hero EJ watches Good EJ and Sami through the window outside Sami’s apartment. Good EJ smugly nods slightly to Hero EJ when he sees Hero EJ looking at him and Sami before he turns his attention back to the movie they are watching together. Hero EJ levies a neutral expression back yet clenches his right fist at his side.

Hero EJ (muttering to himself): “Arrogant git.”

Sinister Voice (from behind): “Even the valiant get frustrated, eh? Sentry duty is just not as romantic as they make it out to be in the comic books or crime novels.”

Cursing himself for dropping his guard, Hero EJ turns around to see that Evil EJ is standing before him.

Hero EJ (displeased): “You.”

Evil EJ (raising an eyebrow): “You think anyone else would bother to come visit you when it’s this cold out? Gray EJ is refusing to even get out of bed this morning.”

Evil EJ (putting out his hand): “I come with a peace offering. A white chocolate mocha for the most courageous of hearts.”

Hero EJ makes no move to accept the drink and merely glares at Evil EJ.

Evil EJ (pressing): “Come on now, you don’t want the work of the poor girl who spent time getting your extra milk just right go to waste, do you? After all, you’ve read about Starbucks in the news, haven’t you? How the CEO shut each location down for three hours and made the workers sign some paper proclaiming their dedication to quality coffee? As if that will help them in a downturned economy.”

Thirsty and cold, Hero EJ rationalizes that he will need fuel to continue his vigil, so he reluctantly takes the coffee and sips silently. Evil EJ grins in response.

Evil EJ (encouraged): “Annoying, isn’t he?”

Hero EJ (defensive): “He’s a good man.”

Evil EJ (seizing the initiative): “Precisely the problem. All those traits you value so much like honesty, strength, compassion, loyalty…he is the one embodying them, not you. And that grates on you, doesn’t it?”

Evil EJ (continuing): “It was supposed to be you, all that build up to Stefano kidnapping Gianni and a showdown in Ireland where you would shine as the knight you are. You were so looking forward to it because you would have gotten to run the show for so many days, but then one of TPTB’s whimsical direction changes struck and…poof, nothing. And here you are, reduced to watching your adored princess through paned glass instead of being by her side where you can always keep an eye on her.”

Hero EJ (reaching): “It could be worse.”

Evil EJ (insidiously): “It could, but this is especially hard on you, isn’t it? You got the perfect storyline to have Samantha at your side in order to keep her safe, which is everything you’ve ever wanted, right in front of you only to have it taken away. Moreover, he gave the few scenes he hasn’t been in to Gray EJ when you’re supposed to be his number two. You’re the other good EJ.”

Hero EJ (turning his head slightly): “And you.”

Evil EJ (scoffing): “Hardly. I took that. Sleep or not, Samantha should know better than to wear anything from Hot Topic in front of us.”

Hero EJ (curious): “How exactly did you manage that anyway?”

Evil EJ (surveying the view): “True brilliance needs no explanation.”

Hero EJ (considering): “Fair enough. Evil EJ, I appreciate the company and the warm beverage, but you and I spent last summer at each other’s throats.”

Evil EJ (nodding): “We did. One upping each other while saving Samantha over and over again. But through it all, we had an uneasy alliance because we both have her best interests at heart. We understanding.”

Hero EJ (drinking his coffee): “I understand that I should throw you off this fire escape.”

Evil EJ (continuing): “You’d certainly like to, but what you’ve always lacked in reasonableness you’ve made up for in intelligence. You know you can’t do that, just as you know that you only need a little time with the fair Samantha. You don’t require much…five minutes here, ten minutes there, but now you’re getting nothing. And even the knight needs to take his armor off sometimes, don’t you, sunshine?”

Hero EJ (narrowing his eyes): “And I suppose you crawled out from under your rock in order to lighten my load.”

Evil EJ (grinning): “I live to serve others.”

Hero EJ (astutely): “Only after yourself and if it amuses you. I know firsthand you don’t like the passenger’s seat, Evil EJ. You’re planning to overthrow Good EJ, and you wouldn’t dare approach me unless you had both Evil Crazy EJ and Gray EJ already sown up.”

Evil EJ (slightly annoyed): “Indeed. Unusually blunt today, aren’t we, Sir Gawain?”

Hero EJ (shrugging): “You’re correct. I am frustrated. So get to the point. What exactly are you offering me?”

Evil EJ (pointing): “You join with me, you get to spend time with your fair maiden. And quality time, mind you. Gray EJ has already nicely volunteered to take all of those out of focus standing around in the background scenes in addition to reaction shots when other people are speaking.”

Hero EJ (inclining his head towards Evil EJ): “How do I know that the moment you take over, you won’t try to monopolize her the way you tried to last time?”

Evil EJ (grimacing): “I can’t this time around, unfortunately. As much as I rail against Days’ morality laws, Gray EJ is right about needing to maintain the redemption, and that means keeping up the fa├žade of a better man, even if both him and myself are going to attempt to darken us somewhat. But that works in your favor. There will be times that the purity will be too much for either him or me to withstand, and that means that for those moments, that’s your time to stand out as the classic romantic hero. You will get to be Samantha’s protector, in every sense of the word.”

Hero EJ (weighing the offer): “What exactly do you want me to do?”

Evil EJ (explaining): “I know better than to ask you to help us entrap Good EJ. I just need you to not interfere. Be somewhere else when we take him. I’ll be sure to pick a time when Samantha and the twins don’t need surveillance so you needn’t worry. Go visit that exhibit on medieval weaponry at the Salem History Museum that you like so much or something. I know you could look at those ancient swords for hours.”

After Evil EJ finishes, Hero EJ looks at him. The seconds turn into minutes.

Evil EJ (annoyed): “Look, this is already hard enough for me as it is, you ungrateful maggot.”

Hero EJ (nonchalantly): “Since when does selling someone on an idea include insulting them?”

Evil EJ (through gritted teeth): “Fine. I apologize.”

After more silence, Evil EJ realizes the reason for the delay and what Hero EJ is actually looking for. Pushing his disgust down, Evil EJ tries not to look at Hero EJ as he offers it.

Evil EJ (softly): “As much as I hate to say it, we…need you.”

Very reluctantly, Evil EJ extends his arm and offers his hand.

Evil EJ (painfully): “Please.”

The air hangs in the space around them as Hero EJ looks at Evil EJ. In his peripheral vision, Hero EJ sees a glimpse of Sami laughing through the window. A shadow of longing falls onto his face, and the decision is instantly made as he grasps Evil EJ’s hand and shakes it.

Hero EJ (reluctantly): “All right.”

Evil EJ (brightening): “Splendid. You won’t regret it.”

Hero EJ (wistfully): “I already do.”

Evil EJ (happily): “Your conscience? You really need to look into getting that removed.”

Hero EJ (sadly): “Perhaps I already have. I never would have even considered this before. Here I am, one of the two light side EJs conspiring with you, the champion of darkness and my sworn adversary, to bring down my most trusted ally.”

Evil EJ (encouragingly): “Oh come on, he’s never going to let us in willingly. He needs to learn how to share. I have. Speaking of which, I better get back to our apartment. I promised Evil Crazy EJ and Samantha that we’d watch Dexter now that CBS has saved me the trouble of censoring the swearwords.”

Hero EJ (nicely): “I bet he’ll like that. Tell him and Gray EJ I say hi.”

Evil EJ (nodding): “Certainly. And I’ll text you before our game gets underway.”

Hero EJ (wondering): “Soon? With me onboard, I imagine there’s little left to be prepared.”

Evil EJ (agreeing): “Soon…but not too soon. As you know, timing is everything. See you later, vanguard.”

Hero EJ nods at Evil EJ as Evil EJ moves and swiftly climbs down the ladder of the fire escape. Turning his attention back towards his self-appointed duty, Hero EJ enviously watches Good EJ and Sami through the window.

Hero EJ (hardening): “Virtue is never its own reward, Good EJ.”

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Crazy for You

Kate notices that Evil Crazy EJ is shielding something from her view.

Kate (looking behind EJ): "EJ? What have you got there?"

Evil Crazy EJ (gesturing in order to draw her attention away): "Nothing. How about I shoot the SUV again, eh?"

Kate shakes her head and inspects her vehicle as Evil Crazy EJ turns his attention towards his beloved.

Evil Crazy EJ (whispering): "What did I tell you, Samantha?! You have to hide from Kate! This won't work if she sees you!"

Samantha (apologetic): "I know, but I want to get married now! I don't love Lucas-I love you! With all my heart!"

Evil Crazy EJ (understanding): "I know you do, but we have to pretend, okay? So stay hidden, please."

Sami (giving in): "Alright. But I want to go shopping later when we have some alone time, okay?"

Evil Crazy EJ (lighting up): "Certainly, darling."

A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words

As Sami mentions that she's going to have to get rid of those photos of her with Lucas and replace them with Ejami ones, EJ whips out several pictures of them together back at the modeling photo shoot complete in beautiful frames.

Sami (surprised): "You...kept these?"

EJ (surprised at her surprise): "How I could not?"

Later, the Immigration Agent stops by.

Immigration Agent: "So, I assume you have some wedding photos I can look at?"

Sami (flustered): "Oh, yes, certainly...uh..."

EJ (offhandedly): "Unfortunately our not so professional photographer overexposed them, and there's not much to see unless you like looking at blurs. Terrible loss, really. Samantha still hasn't gotten over it."

Saturday, March 8, 2008

The People Have Spoken

I was very reluctant to add a board to this blog, which is why I put up the poll asking if I should or not. The results are fairly clear, and given recent events, I think having some sort of backup place would be nice.

Yes, I know the Ejamiland skin still could be better, and I'll see what I can do about that.

Friday, March 7, 2008

Thursday. March 7th, 2008

*heart* OH HE IS SO CUTE!!!! ^_^ *heart*

Me thinks TPTB took our “shades of gray” request literally.

“You say "tomayto." I say "tomahto." I think we should just call the whole thing off.” Ah, so much set up for so little payoff.

“Ketchup is made of tomatoes.” True, but as a refined product, ketchup is mostly sugar.

“Charm just rolls right off my back.” Cool it with the hard sell, dude. EJ is taken.

“I'm married to Sami. That's a full-time job, I can tell you.” Yes, but you’re married to Samantha, darling.

“I'm actually no longer a DiMera.” Days, having everyone and their mom repeat this over and over is inane. Yes, EJ is. His lineage is still DiMera, even if he no longer has access to the criminal empire, and he’s USING DIMERA AS HIS FREAKING LAST NAME.

“You were married to Lucas Horton when you got pregnant with twins-one of them is E.J. Dimera's, and one of them is Lucas Horton's. That's not usually how it's done in Washington.” What, when the White House hits up the Supreme Court, they don’t have both a House and Senate?

You know this next part is important because the extras are reacting to it.

“Someday if you are extremely lucky, someone will love you half as much as EJ loves me.” While it was very gratifying to see Sami admit this fact aloud, the most moving part of this scene was EJ’s expression change as he realizes what Sami has just said. The look of surprise in his eyes was lovely.

You know, you guys should just go to The Olive Garden next time. Hour and a half wait time? Dude would never find you.

Grade: B+. Seriously, I had to stop watching this several times to giggle. I love Good Ejami, but they are so lobotomized compared to their darker counterparts. “I think I have the situation pretty much in hand” when EJ did absolutely jack in that direction and Sami saying “Oh, EJ, this is far from over” when there’s no reason why it would be is hilarious. Break out your gluesticks and construction paper, kiddies, it’s glitter time!