Thursday, April 10th, 2008

“I got my degree from Cambridge University.” And last week with Immigration Dude it was Oxford. What’s next, the University of Phoenix? The School of Hard Knocks? A box of Cracker Jacks?



“You wouldn't know a decent wardrobe if it hit you in the face.”
“Porn-star collection? You're gonna need the jaws of life to get yourself out of that number.”
“How about that time I threw a drink in your face?”

Hey, it’s Sami! Haven’t seen her in a while. Has she been visiting Eric for the past year and a half?



“Young lady, you're not gonna get very far with me if you tell my wife to zip it.”
“If you have any interest in persuading me to take your case, you can stop insulting my wife.”
“If you do anything else to jeopardize my relationship with Samantha, you are gonna be looking for a new attorney.”

*sigh*

You got my hopes up yesterday, EJ, you really did. Then today, shades of gray, my butt. No such luck. Instead we get Summer 2006 EJ! Watch Summer EJ settle down Nicole and Sami in order to avoid a scene! Watch Summer EJ quietly listen to Sami talk about Eric! Watch Summer EJ nicely threaten Nicole! Now, don’t get me wrong, I like Summer EJ, and I infinitely prefer him to Pansy EJ, but still…the goodness. We’re going to have to do something about that. AND WHERE ARE MY JOKES?!



I zoned out here and instead imagined Evil EJ coming out and repeatedly backhanding Nicole across the face. Summer EJ seems to be doing the same thing.

The Grade: B. Did I like it? Yes. But the reversion to Old Sami with Summer EJ dynamic did throw me. Wonder if we’re going to keep going with this…

Wednesday, April 9th, 2008

“I don't hate, Lucas.” Of course not. You just strongly dislike him.
“It's not like Lucas is coming home anytime soon.” If only, Sami. If only.



“And, um, who are you?”
“EJ DiMera.” So “Wells” with Mickey was just a slip. Good. And I liked EJ’s interaction with Nicole here. He was civil, but nothing more.



“Fate implies a certain lack of control over one's destiny.”
“Let's just take things one step at a time, shall we?”
“I know there's a part of you that still hates me.”
“She obviously gets under your skin. I'd like to know why.”

Someone had his V-8 this morning, didn’t he? Finally, the wheels are turning once more, and EJ’s starting to angle again. About time.



“Hello? Hello? Man, I hope that wasn’t the Austrian Secret Police checking to see if I was here in order to come and take me away.”
“Damn it! You people are quicker than Domino’s!”

The Grade: Honestly, the big selling point of this episode was EJ waking up out of the goodness induced stupor he’s been stuck in, not the actual Ejami scene so much as it was relatively short. Depansifying EJ A, Ejami B.

My Heart Is Damaged

A few hours later that same night, Sami opens her eyes only to see that her husband still hasn’t come back to bed. Worried, she makes her way once again to the kitchen to find EJ stretched across the table in front of him, sleeping at an odd angle. She moves to wake him.

Sami (lightly touching his shoulder): “EJ..EJ.”

EJ continues to sleep.

Sami (shaking him a bit more): “EJ. Come on, EJ.”

EJ still doesn’t respond.

Sami (going with the sudden inspiration): “Elvis.”

At the mention of his given name, EJ bolts upright in his chair. Apologetic for startling her husband, Sami backs away from him.

Sami (concerned): “I’m sorry I had to wake you, EJ, but you really shouldn’t be sleeping like this. It’s not good for your ba-”

Sami cuts herself off and her face falls as she sees EJ’s haunted and bleary-eyed expression stare back at her. His sleep had been anything but restful.

EJ (bluntly): “Storage chest.”

Sami (surprised): “What?”

EJ (too quickly): “I didn’t want to, but Father insisted.”

Sami (confused): “You didn’t want to what?”

EJ (lost in his memory): “No, Elvis, that is not Hope Brady’s favorite beverage, and I should know because last time I got it wrong because it is an easy question because if you’d studied harder I wouldn’t have to punish you, Elvis, your fault I had to strike again why can’t you remember?”

Sami (piecing it together): “The flashcards…when you got the answer wrong. He…”

Alarmed, Sami trails off and is unable to say the rest.

EJ (nodding and rubbing his upper left arm): “I was. I had to be in there. But not by myself quiet-shhh, let it work.”

Watching his right hand move, Sami’s eyes widen as she realizes what EJ is describing.

EJ (as if he’s told her before): “It was better then. Before the shadows were wrong because the shapes didn’t match. And I told Father that the first time, and-and he said he understood, so he told me he’d make it easier. I could because the needle not so much. Not so hard then. It was better. He promised me, and it was better. I could be then. I was okay.”

EJ twists and rolls his head to the side before he continues.

EJ (incoherently): “He helped. So I had to help too. Needed to help-I needed to be-he wanted because Father needed me to be what he wanted I what it was to pay attention because I had to and I did because.”

Attempting to follow EJ’s garbled reasoning, Sami’s concentration falls away to a spike of horror as a smile suddenly spreads across her husband’s face.

EJ (proud): “And I am.”

EJ (reassuring himself): “Because I am a good boy. I am a good boy. I am a good boy.”

And with the declaration announced, Sami glimpses how deep her husband’s conditioning had been and how intractable it would be to remove, how the immense strength that EJ possessed had come at the expense of years of scarring by an individual who had no compassion for anyone but himself. Staring at her husband talk to himself, Sami could not help but feel dread grow across her. She had been the one who insisted he open a door that perhaps should have remained closed. Not knowing what else to do, she moves to EJ and wraps her arms around his right limb.

Sami (matching his genuine smile with a false one of her own): “You’re tired. Let’s go to bed.”

At her command, EJ looks at Sami openly, searching her eyes.

EJ (needing her to understand): “Samantha…I am a good boy. I am.”

Sami (reassuringly): “Yes, I know. I know.”

Drained, EJ lets Sami help him up, lead him out of the kitchen to their bedroom, and get under the covers. Sami follows him beneath the blankets and immediately moves to hold him gently as he begins to recite his promise to himself. EJ repeats his mantra until he falls asleep, and once the silence finally settles around her, Sami swallows nervously.

Sami (whispering): “What have I done?”

It's The Home Improvement Place!

EJ (grabbing his coat): "Well, I'm off to Lowe's."

Carpe (coming over and grabbing onto his arm): "Oh, that sounds fun!"

EJ (raising an eyebrow): "Darling, may I point out you don't know a screwdriver from an Allen wrench."

Carpe (looking into his eyes): "I fail to see how that's relevant."

I Wouldn't Want to Hurt His Feelings

Good EJ and Carpe are standing next to each other.

Carpe (reluctantly): “So what inane-I mean, lovely, plans do you have for us today?

Good EJ (pleased): “Well, I was thinking we could take a walk in the park, and then go to the flower expo at the Salem Civic Center. After our day there, we can come back here and cuddle up together while we watch the Lifetime Movie Network.”

Carpe (catching herself): “That sounds st-wonderful. Hey, could you get my coat for me?”

Good EJ (nodding): “Sure, darling.”

As soon as Good EJ is out of the room, Carpe takes a tranquilizer gun out of a nearby cabinet, adjusts the settings, and shoots herself with it. She rehides the weapon before Good EJ comes back.

Carpe (nicer): “I’m ready to go when you are.”

Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measures

Determined to save her favorite Days character, Carpe takes matters into her own hands. She time travels back to April 2nd, 2007 and rushes to find Evil EJ after he calls Lucas at University Hospital.



Carpe (pointing): "There you are!"

Evil EJ (raising an eyebrow): "Do I know you?"

Carpe (explaining): "I'm Carpe-you know, your funny videos editor?"

Evil EJ (recalling): "Ah, yes. It's not time for another one, is it?"

Carpe (shaking her head): "No, not that. I know this is hard to believe, but I'm from the future, and I have something I have to show you. And you're not going to like it."

Carpe pulls out her portable DVD player and shows the April 2nd, 2008 episode to Evil EJ.

Evil EJ (wondering): "Samantha and I are married? So we actually wed in Vegas?"

Carpe (considering): "Uh, no, but that's besides the point. Just keep watching."

Evil EJ's expression changes to one of shock and pure anger as he finishes watching today's show.

Evil EJ (enraged): "Changed man?!! What do I mean I don't want anything to do with my father? I don't have any money? And why am I just standing around while John is making all the jokes?!"

Carpe (throwing her hands up): "I KNOW! You're a total wuss! We have to stop this! Come with me!"

Frantic, Carpe and Evil EJ get into the time machine.

Another Ejami Clip on Hulu

It's March 31st where EJ is holding Johnny and asking Sami to help him.

Wednesday, April 2nd, 2008

“Welcome to Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous with me, your monologuing host, Victor Kiriakis. Let me bore you to death with details you, the audience, already know.” Sheesh, Chloe had the right idea here.



“I've basically raised those twins with Samantha since Lucas went to jail.” I’m glad both EJ and Sami pointed this out. I’m also happy Sami’s mystical savings are finally running low since she’s been living on those since Mythic imploded.



“I'm not speaking as a therapist. I'm speaking as a woman. Look, people do strange things when they're in love. And who are we to judge?” See, audience, EJ was in love with Sami! We were just kidding about all that sociopath stuff.



“I'm a changed man, John. I don't want anything to do with my father anymore” and “I can assure you I'm not the man that I used to be.” Oh, don’t remind me, Good EJ! I was hoping to get some sweet jokes out of you today, but noooooooo, Good EJ is too nice to insult someone Pansy.



“A side to your mother I've never seen.” Hey, you can ask your dad about it if he ever wakes up.



Hi Pookie! Welcome to Days! I guess Nicole can come too.

Grade: Ah, decisions, decisions. I love Ejami, yet I hate J&M. The dialogue was better today with the “parallel universe” mention, but Good EJ chose to spite me by making no jokes. Nicole and Pookie showed up, but the Kiriakis dinner was mindnumbing. Eh, I’m feeling charitable. B.

Tuesday, April 1st, 2008

AAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! BAD EJ! BAD!



“Is that what they're calling an entry-level job nowadays?” Well, you’d certainly know, wouldn’t you, Immigration Dude? Twenty plus years, and you’re still in one.



“When I have a job, I have incredible tenacity.” Oh, don’t we know it, EJ.



“What, all of a sudden you have a license to practice in this state?”
“Yeah, all the work I did for my father. You don't remember that?” No, I don’t, EJ, BECAUSE IT NEVER HAPPENED. *cough* retcon *cough*



“I’m EJ Wells.” Considering how quickly James said this entire sentence, I think this actually might have been a slip by him, especially since EJ has said “EJ DiMera” the previous two times he’s introduced himself and Immigration Dude refers to him by that in this very episode. If so, it’s more than forgivable. If not, having two names works just fine for Hannah Montana. Hannah also rocks a wig, which Mickey might want to look into.



Hmm, Ejami went to the bathroom together. I wonder why. EJ holding Sami’s purse? No. Ejami celebrating the one year anniversary of Sami finding Toasty EJ? Nah. Ejami “freshening up” together? Oh yeah baby.



“I'm nothing like my father.” ROTFL, sure, Days. You keep on keepin’ on with that. And “It's not like I was her first choice of son-in-law.” Or Roman’s, or Sami’s, or the writers, or Corday, or NBC…

Grade: Better dialogue as I actually liked the antibiotic joke, and the writers are actually attempting to retcon somewhat thoughtfully. We’ll keep the A-.

Monday, March 31st, 2008

THIS IS THE LONGEST DAY EVER!



“Okay, a little inappropriate, maybe a little bit.” Inappropriately awesome, EJ, although I do not know what is your fascination with pre-2000 cruise ship captain outfits. And Sami, he’s been waltzing into your apartment any time he wants for nearly two years now.



“I want you to lie through your teeth.”

*singing*

One of these EJs had actual dialogue writers, one of these EJs didn’t have to tell jokes wrong…



“Come on, it's not like I can just go and run rings around the U.S. Government.” Exactly. You better call Evil EJ for that.



I think you two could twist this around and blackmail Immigration Dude here for inappropriate meetings and expense reporting. I’m pretty sure he’s not supposed to do this, but hey, it saves the show from building another set, doesn’t it?



“Bread?” I don’t see any bread on the table, EJ. Does Chez Rouge work like The Olive Garden where you have to ask for the breadsticks? And I liked how you said you were doing this for the children.



“We are trying to keep the passion in our relationship. Our sex life is quite stimulating” and “Most of it's either spent looking after the kids or it's just incessant lovemaking.” Gray EJ, you sweetie *hugs*



Ah, yes, Ejami being purposely awful to each other. I wish it could have been written a little smarter, but there you go. At least there wasn’t any overused pop culture reference this time.



Now that is what I am talking about. Of course EJ keeps going.



“He's a little bit tougher than we thought.” HOW COULD WE POSSIBLY HAVE FORSEEN THIS TURN OF EVENTS?! IMMIGRATION HAS SUCH A GOOD REPUTATION, AND THIS GUY WAS SO NICE THE LAST TIME WE MET HIM!!

“Don't worry. I have an idea.” Well, at least someone does.

Grade: Split decision: B+ apartment dinking around, A- for Chez Rouge. Are we where we want to be in terms of dialogue or character intelligence? No, no, we are not. But at least we’re moving in the right direction, which is better than nothing, I suppose.

You Can Blame The One Before

A few nights later, Sami awakens to empty space beside her. Getting out of bed, she knows right where to look for her missing husband. As she enters the darkened kitchen, she sees EJ sitting at the table, dully staring off into space and rocking himself in his chair. Unnerved at the sight, Sami silently moves toward him and clears her throat before she speaks in order not to startle him.

Sami (kindly): “I see you couldn’t sleep.”

Wanting to be alone, EJ tilts his head and glares at her.

Sami (sitting down at the table next to him): “It’s okay. I’m here for you.”

EJ (sarcastically): “I can only imagine why.”

Sami (smiling): “Then get to it. I’m listening.”

EJ (snidely): “So you can hear about my wonderful DiMera childhood, and through telling you I come to some grand emotional epiphany and weep in your arms?”

Sami (annoyed): “Well, I was hoping we’d slowly work our way up to that point, but I’m serious, EJ.”

EJ (irritated): “So am I. Why you want to hear about my father raising me? What does it matter now?”

Sami (insistent): “Me? It’s obviously bothering you. You’re the one getting up in the middle of the night.”

EJ (shrugging): “Only because I never should have agreed to discuss it with you. But let’s say we go with your little theory, and I’m somehow troubled by what I’ve told you. Why? Why would my feelings come to the forefront now?”

Sami (considering): “Maybe with Stefano incapacitated it’s a safe time for your mind to think about it. For you to process it.”

EJ (dryly): “Pop psychology doesn’t suit you, darling. Leave that to your mother.”

Sami (imploring): “You’re my husband. We’re in this together. I want to help you. Just talk to me.”

EJ (challenging): “What do you want me to say? That he hit me? That he locked me in a suitcase? That he pumped me so full of drugs I couldn’t speak?”

Noticing the detail given in the last option, Sami clasps her hands around his and edges her body closer as she looks into his eyes.

Sami (openly): “Did he?”

The question asked, EJ stares back at her with an intensity that genuinely frightens her.

EJ (whispering): “Just go.”

Sami (imploring): “EJ.”

EJ roughly removes her hands from his and closes his eyes.

EJ (pleading): “Please leave.”

Sami opens her mouth to protest and almost immediately shuts it again. Ever so reluctantly deciding that pressing any harder could be dangerous, she stands up and exits the room, looking back at her husband and hanging on to the hope that he will share his memories with her when he is ready. After his wife has left, EJ slumps onto the table and puts his head in his hands.

EJ (to himself): “I am a good boy. I am a good boy. I am a good boy.”

Do You Have a First-Aid Kit Handy?

Ejami is sitting at their kitchen table in the middle of the night. EJ is telling Sami about his DiMera upbringing.

Sami (trying to understand): "So, you had to know everything about us? About all the Bradys?"

EJ (explaining): "Yes. Father wanted to make sure that I was prepared. I had to know every possible detail about everyone."

Sami (confused): "Even I don't know that much about our family. How could you possibly do that?"

EJ (chuckling in spite of himself): "Well...I made flashcards."

Sami (disbelieving): "Flashcards?"

EJ (rubbing his neck): "Yes, I wrote carefully everything down and spent hours quizzing myself before Stefano would test me."

Sami (eyes widening): "EJ..."

EJ (defensive): "It wasn't that bad. I have a good memory."

Sami (concerned): "I know you do. But what happened when you answered wrong, when you didn't remember?"

EJ doesn't answer as he looks away and down at the floor. After several minutes of silence, Sami anxiously waits for him to speak again.

EJ (quietly): "Nothing I didn't deserve. I should have studied harder."

Alarmed at the far away look in EJ's eyes, Sami speaks softly yet forcefully.

Sami (imploringly): "It wasn't your fault, EJ. That's insane. He's insane. He should have never made you do any of that."

EJ (looking upward and over at her): "True, but I admit it did come in useful later on-"

Sami (reaching out for him as she shakes her head): "No. That wasn't okay. He must have done something to you-how did he hur-"

EJ (jerking away from her touch): "I don't want to talk about this any longer, all right?"

Sami (worried): "EJ, I know it's hard-"

EJ (staring at her): "No, you don't. And it doesn't matter in any case."

EJ swallows with difficulty as he looks around uneasily.

EJ (suddenly getting up): "I'm sorry, Samantha, but I'm exhausted. I'm going back to bed."

Sami (one last time): "Wait, EJ. Why don't I make you some-"

EJ purposely cuts her off midsentence by kissing her on the top of her head.

EJ (stonewalling): "Good night, darling."

EJ leaves the room. Once he is out of earshot, Sami sighs as she realizes that repairing the emotional damage to her husband is going to be even more difficult than she expected.

Hasta La Vista, Baby

Ejami frantically hurries to stop the T-1000 invasion of Salem.

Sami (beyond anxious): "They're almost on top of us, EJ! What in the world are you waiting for?!"

EJ (tense as his hands dance across the equipment): "Excuse me if reverse engineering a ham radio into a device able to communicate with SkyNet takes a bit longer than your little test results scheme did."

Sami (narrowing her eyes): "At least I have a killswitch signal for the machines to show for it unlike some peopl-"

EJ (interrupting): "Eureka! Got it!"

Behind Ejami, all the T-1000s immediately stop and power off as the shut down command has been received.

EJ (triumphantly): "Fantastic! We did it, darling!"

Sami (grinning): "Oh, EJ!"

Ejami hug each other in relief.

Man in Black

Sami enters Ejami's bedroom only to find EJ relaxing on the bed. Sami smiles in surprise as she notices the black silk pajamas he's wearing.

Sami (enjoying the view): "EJ?"

EJ (raising his eyebrow devilishly): "I very well can't pretend to be good all the time, sweetheart."

WE HAVE PHOTOS!

Okay, Ejami is not alone, but close enough! I wonder what are the scenes that go with these.

And Then There Were Two

While there's plenty of places on the internet to talk about Ejami, as far as I knew, I was the only Ejami blog.

Until now.

Shanice has started Ejami Heaven at http://ejamiheaven.blogspot.com/ Check out the nice video clips and montages!

Ejami Solidarity Banners

Want to show your allegiance to the Dark Side or proclaim that Ejami is magical? Feel free to use my banners wherever you'd like.

Monday, March 24th, 2008

"And we told our mailperson, our hairdresser, our tax attorney...that homeless guy we pass at the library every day..."



Oh, yes, Shawn and Sami were so tight, after all And what's up with Sami's outfit? I like how the color of the sweater brings out her eyes, but otherwise, talk about a boring wasteland.



'Girls night out just won't be the same.' Well, considering last time was you and Belle eating ice cream together, I suppose actually including Sami for once is a change, isn't it?



Other people would find this touching...I am not one of them. Get away before you catch any more of their hypocritical goodness, Sami!

Grade: I feel sorry for the Shelle fans, but otherwise eh. C.