Saturday, August 23, 2008

Monday, August 18th, 2008



“I don't understand what he sees in her.” The one woman on earth who can salve the scars on his soul.
“I don't understand how he could choose to be with somebody he has to convince to love him.” He doesn’t. If you were watching the show, Nicole, you’d know that Sami has loved EJ since February 2007. Everything EJ’s done since then has just been to get her to admit that to herself.
“And I don't understand why I think it's possible for me to ever be with someone like him.” It’s not. If EJ weren’t with Sami, he’d be back to playing pretty girls like Mexico chick, not you.



Now that’s better. And, Days, this wasn’t nearly long enough.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fW_QCRGvT-g


Silk suit, black tie
I don’t need a reason why
They come running just as fast as they can
Cuz every girl crazy ‘bout a sharp dressed man



“Your husband doesn't know how to treat you like a lady.” Truer words were never spoken.



Okay, so Nicole suffocates Sami to death here, and back in the Broe storyline, Nicole also fantasized about doing the same thing to Chloe. I’m guessing someone has some unresolved issues with her mother.

Grade: D-. I tried to like this, I really did, but it’s all style, no substance. It’s clear the actors had fun, but it’s a mismash of 40s film noir stereotypes instead of the actual characters on the show. Thus, it’s much less interesting to me because of that. At least it looked nice.

Friday, August 15th, 2008



20 years exiled on an island, and Tony hallucinates that Stefano is disappointed in him? Someone still cares about his dad.



“EJ-EJ, you have to be okay. EJ, please. Please. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for everything I said. I'm-I'm sorry. I know it's not your fault. I know you didn't do this. Okay. I know it's not your fault. I know it was because of Stefano, and I'm so sorry I said those things to you, but you have to help me, remember? You promised that you'd help me fight Stefano, and you'd help me get out of here. Please-please, EJ, you have to be okay, and “I'm so sorry. EJ, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for everything I said. I'm so sorry. I didn't know it was you. I'm so sorry. Please-please, you can't leave me. You have to be okay. EJ, I'm sorry. My-my life won't be the same without you. Please. Please! Please.” This was great. Not only because of the admission that Sami wants EJ in her life, but because it’s so typical Sami. She’s such a spaz. I love it.



Okay, so to check for injuries, Sami completely undoes his shirt and then instead of seeing that he’s obviously breathing, she puts her hand up to his mouth to check? Apparently Sami learned first aid from Playgirl.



I found it odd that banging his head turned EJ into Hugh Grant temporarily. His voice usually isn’t this high pitched.



“You said that you couldn't imagine your life without me,” “This is the right time. This is exactly the right place,” “Samantha, would you please look at me? I just want to know if you meant it,” “That's not what I'm asking. You know that's not what I'm asking, all right? I would like to know where you and I stand, and I'd also like to know where you stand with Lucas,” and “Come on, Samantha. It's about a lot more than that. You know it is.” EJ is relentless. He knows Sami loves him, and he’s not going to stop until she finally opens the door and lets him in.



“Look, Lucas came back, and I focused on that and him and what he had seen, and I just was desperate to make sure we reconnected, because I wanted us to get back together, and that's all I thought about, and so I-”
“That's why you-so you pushed me away. Is that what you're saying? That's what you're saying.”
“Well, I forced myself to ignore everything else-to ignore how I felt about you and about what happened that night.” This is a total retcon. None of the last two months happened like this, but hey, whatever. Maybe if you squint.
“Look, that night changed everything. Maybe it was a mistake that we had sex, but I can't take it back. I can't change what happened. I can't change how I feel about you. Then I have to stop lying to myself about it.” Yes! Finally! Sami is admitting her feelings for EJ!


“And now...what are your feelings, huh?” See, what did I tell you?
“Samantha, did you mean it? Come on. Please. Did you mean it?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I did.”
“Thank you.” Yes, thank you, show! Yea!



“Really, Nicole, you should have seen this coming. Ejole was an obstacle couple at best.”



EJ can always calm Sami. As she’s said herself, he is her rock, her pillar of strength.



“I'd really like to know how you feel about Lucas. I mean, right here, now.” And here’s the start of some really crap dialogue. Way too direct. Who talks like this?
“I love him...and I always will. But he doesn't...want to have anything to do with me, and I have to deal with that and...move on.” Finally. We were talking next ice age at the rate you were going, Sami
“Do you think that...I mean, Lucas saying this was part of the reason that you realized that you had these feelings for me?” Way to confuse the issue, writers.
“I didn't say that. No, that's not how it is.” Exactly!
“I mean, how is it?” Argh!
“I don't know. I mean, you were lying there on the floor, and I thought you were dead, and I thought I had killed you, and... I guess just a lot of things hit me, you know, all at once.” Yeah, “things.” Please.
“Well, things like what?” That’s what I’d like to know.
“I don't know. Just... maybe that anything's possible. I'm sorry. I can't promise you anything more than that.” I know it’s been only two days since Lumi broke up, but way to barely take the bar off of the floor, Sami.
“No, that's fine. That's a lot more that what I hoped for.” Oh, damn. This line sucks! Seriously, EJ is not this pathetic. He lacks self-identity, not self-esteem.



“Can we just stay like this? EJ, just tell me everything's gonna be okay.” Finally Sami is giving back to EJ. He loves this sort of emotional closeness.
“Sure. Everything's gonna be okay.” And it will be. See? EJ is thinking.



Does this look like the veritable cover of a romance novel or what?



Clothing sex. For his pleasure.



Turnabout is fair play, Nicole.

Grade: A-. Honestly, I had to rewatch this episode to really appreciate it. It starts and ends very strong, but the middle is much weaker than it could have been due to the crap dialogue. It’s too nonspecific and direct, and someone doesn’t know the difference between needy and pathetic. EJ is needy because he has no self-identity, so he requires Sami to support him emotionally. He is not pathetic because he has very high self-esteem, the very definition of confidence and arrogance. The lines in here are in the right neighborhood for him, but the wrong side of the street. Hopefully they’ll get it right next time. I did like how EJ didn’t mention Nicole once because as far as he’s concerned, only Lucas is in the way. As we already know, he doesn’t give a crap about Nicole and was only using her to get Sami. Overall, there was a lot to like here, especially the cuddling, the kiss, and the clothing sex. It’s also so gratifying to see Sami make progress at long last. She’s let Lucas go and admitted she has feelings for EJ. Now she just has to accept that she loves him. Finally, while he may have coughed a lot, I find it interesting that in the end, EJ’s the one who hasn’t hallucinated anything. The heir, indeed.

Thursday, August 14th, 2008



And here is yet another reason why Ejami is so spellbinding. For the tainted relationship between Stefano and Marlena to be reborn as a loving one in their children is powerful material.

Grade: A- for Stefano and Marlena, D- for the rest.

Wednesday, August 13th, 2008



“Are you sure you don't mind leaving her there?” Kinda have to for this next part here. You know how these disaster storylines work.
“You know, I keep thinking about Allie and Johnny. They must be wondering where we are.” Somehow I doubt it. I’m sure they’re either asleep or playing with their toys.
“I know they're safe, but I'm their mother. You know, they need me.” Don’t forget their father.



Sami’s hallucinatory vision is apparently derived from the old Sega CD console.



“Well, monster or no monster, but I am not your enemy, okay? I mean you no harm, as long as you cooperate.” And that’s Stefano in a nutshell. Be who he wants to be, and you’re gold with him. Be someone else, and he’ll make you into who he wants anyway…whether you know it or not.
“I'm afraid your mother is not the lady that you think that she is. But your potential-limitless.” Yes, Sami is total supervillainess material!
“I want to make sure that you get the opportunity to fulfill that potential. See, I want to give you the chance to get everything you ever wanted-love, money, power.” Oh, do tell, Stefano.



“Samantha, you can be the future of this family,” “Look, you and Elvis and our darling little Giovanni get bello ragazzo,” and “What? Look, living in the past, all right? When are you going to learn? Samantha, there is nothing that can be done that cannot be undone. Do you understand? With such a bright future. Think about it, huh? You and Elvis together-the two of you. You can have it all.” Exactly! Dude, we need to put Stefano on the list. He’s a total Ejami.



“And then...if we are lucky, you see, then perhaps our little Giovanni can be the first in line of new DiMera heirs.” And the baby list too. You better not be teasing me, show.



“We're dealing with a psychopath.” Argh, John! First of all, Stefano’s a sociopath, not a psychopath, and second, you are talking to his son who loves him. But may I say that James did a great job here with the coughing and everything. I’m sure that’s very difficult to act, but he really sold it.



As someone who watched the entire OMG MY FACE Broe storyline, this was absolutely hilarious. Ah, good times, good times.



“It is the one true path to immortality, my dear. We live on in our children, after all. Our grandchildren.” Considering that Stefano is an actual sociopath, the fact that he’s chosen EJ out of all his kids as his genetic heir is the highest of complements. Elvis is truly his golden boy.
“No. Stop it. You are not living on through my son. No way. My son is gonna grow up to be a good, strong, and decent human being, unlike you. No, he will bring dignity to the DiMera name.” Like you do to the Brady name, Sami?
“Ah, you see? That's why I like you. You have such a fighting spirit. And that is why that you and Elvis must continue to procreate.” Yes, I want more Ejami kids too!
“See, between your genes and his, we will breed the smartest, the most intelligent and strong DiMeras.” And the prettiest!
“Look, do not fight the inevitable, all right? Release yourself to fate.” Or to TPTB’s direction, heh.
“Just because you and Elvis had a little bit of a dry patch does not mean that it cannot be worked out. You two have a bond that can never be broken.” So true. As EJ himself as said, they are bound together forever.



You know, I was rather surprised that the show remembered any of this as continuity isn’t Days’ strong suit. But yes, it was good motivation to show that Sami isn’t going to be forced into anything this time around…or so she thinks, anyway.



EJ totally takes after his father. Falling down those stairs killed Lauren.

Grade: A- for Stefano and Sami, B for Ejami as it was far too short again. And did Stefano set up EJ and Sami being stuck together in the stairwell? Of course he did. He came looking for Sami, backed her into the stairwell, and then left Sami’s purse and her breathing cloth by the only open door on the floor so EJ would find it. As he mentioned in his evil plan dialogue with Sami, he wants them together. Why? So many reasons. First is, as much Stefano is able to as a sociopath, he does love EJ. He wants him happy, especially because it makes him easier to control. Secondly, Stefano does like Sami. She’s a good choice for the mother of his grandchildren. Thirdly, since Sami’s a Brady, having her as a DiMera is a real coup. And finally, since she’s Marlena’s daughter, EJ will have succeeded where he failed. Stefano isn’t out for revenge with EJ and Sami or he wouldn’t have bothered with any of this. He’s out to rebuild the house of DiMera as he sees fit, to create the adoring evil family worthy of his legacy.

Tuesday, August 12th, 2008



“You know something, Anna? You've always been a bit of a nuisance, and now you're a meddlesome bitch” and “Wife? How can you keep doing the same mistake over and over?” Seriously, we gotta keep Stefano around solely for the insults.



“Did you enjoy your coma?” Dude, it was a blast!
“Not a coma, John. I was paralyzed, but my mind was active.” A dangerous mind, indeed.
“Plotting your revenge, I assume.” No, his Stefano and Marlena fan fic. Geez, John.
“Among other things. After all, I did have quite a bit of time to think.” Which is why this whole plan is so well constructed and executed. Proper planning can make almost anything happen.



“As soon as they find out what Stefano did to my mother, I hope John kills him.” Seriously, Sami. You are talking to his son who loves him very much.
“All right, stop, please.” You tell her, EJ!
“I mean, I really thought that we were rid of him, you know? I thought he was gone for good, but, no. Of course he always manages to find a way to come back to wreak havoc on our lives.” Don’t blame the show, Sami, blame the fan campaign.
“Samantha, that did not give your mother the right to play God and put him in some kind of paralytic state.” Exactly.
“Oh, come on, EJ. You don't really believe my mom did that.” Wait for it.
“Doesn't really matter what I believe, Samantha. It's what my father believes.” And here it is. Brainwashed induced loyalty laid bare.
“What do you believe?” He said it didn’t matter!
“I think she did.” See above.
“Oh, come on-you know, if she did, she did it because she was desperate-because she was desperate to protect our family.” Likely story.
“She didn’t. She did it because she wanted to get revenge against my father for what he did to John.” Yeah, pretty much.
“You know what he did to John was horrible, was tragic. You helped us save him.” He did.
“I did. The reason that I did that was 'cause I wanted to put an end to the stupid situation, not have her go and make it worse. Look, I understood that my father was gonna have to pay for what he did, but I expected him to go to prison for the rest of his life, not to be trapped in his own body.” Yup. You also wanted to score points with Sami, but you’re not going to tell her that.
“He deserves it.” Nah.
“Nobody deserves that.” I tend to agree. That’s essentially a living hell.
“I can't believe you feel sorry for him.” Again, Sami, EJ is Stefano’s son. You would do well to remember this occasionally.
“There is a right side and a wrong side to this situation, EJ. I hope you choose carefully about which side you're on.” Sami, that was only true back when it was the depraved DiMeras harming the innocent Bradys. Since the Bradys have started fighting as dirty as the DiMeras do, well, that’s a game changer.



I don’t think Stefano has given his consent, John.



“Et tu, Elvis.” How I adore all the Roman Empire allusions.
“‘Et tu?’ I did not betray you.” Nope. EJ loves his father.
“And I have my own reasons for wanting John destroyed.” Sorry, Diane, but oh, yeah baby! Woo hoo! Grind him into dust!



“If you tell me, Elvis, I can help you.” I have some expertise in this area, son.
“I'll handle that myself. Thank you.” I can kill him all by myself, dad!
“Thank you, father.” Conditioning up!
“Quite.” Oh, rejected!
“Sometimes I think you have forgotten.” Redirect.
“I can assure you that I have not forgotten.” And accepted.
“All right, fine. But let me tell you something. I cannot help you until you tell me why you want to destroy John.” And here we see how Stefano’s brainwashing of EJ works. Stefano treats EJ like a little boy, and EJ responds as one. There’s no expectation by EJ that he should be treated as an adult or even realization on his part that his relationship with his father shouldn’t be like this, and because of that, Stefano’s able to easily control him.



“All right? This isn't gonna end well. You know that, right?” No plot if it did, EJ.
“I know that nothing regarding Stefano ever ends well. But I am going to make him tell me how to save my mother.”
“That's not gonna happen.” Thank goodness. I hope Marlena stays like that for a while.



“I am disappointed because I think-well, you know what undid you in the end, don't you? It's your...innate morality, your basic goodness.” Yes. An anti-heroine or a villainess can afford get away with an act like this, but a heroine can’t do this kind of stuff without penalty.
“I know you wanted to see my father suffer...as much as I really believe that you just didn't simply kill him because you couldn’t. It's not in you. It's not who you are. And that was your big mistake.” Yup. Anything less than death is just making Stefano angry.
“He came back because he wants to kill us all.” Oh, not even close. Tony really doesn’t understand his dad very well. Like the Metallica song says, what’s the point of playing king if there’s no one around to worship you?



“We've just received word that the 7th floor of university hospital has been locked down in what appears to be a quarantine situation.” Honestly, as plots go, this is both very smart by Stefano and surprisingly realistic. The only part that’s a bit wonky is the lack of cell phone service, but as everyone in Salem is apparently on the same family plan, I assume he just called Verizon and canceled it.

Grade: B+. I love seeing Stefano condition EJ, and I liked the Ejami we got, but it still wasn’t enough. The Tony and Marlena exchange dragged as well.

Monday, August 11th, 2008



“All right, I will admit one thing. I am very sad that you and Elvis are no longer married.” As am I, Stefano, as am I.
“How does he know that?” Supervillains get default near-omniscience, Sami.
“Well, I mean, there's always hope for the future.” Hope springs eternal!



“Boys, you're embarrassing me in front of our guest. And Antony, if you’re going to darken your morality, choose something a little less blatant than needlessly yelling at Samantha here.”



“I cannot believe that you were defending him.” Yeah, it’s almost as if Stefano were his father or something. Sami is completely insensitive to EJ here. Just because his dad is evil incarnate doesn’t mean he doesn’t love him. It hurts when she says things like Stefano is “sick in the head,” which is why EJ was telling Sami exactly that until she cut him off again. And of course he gives Stefano the benefit of the doubt when it comes to Marlena being missing. The guy just was in a coma, after all.



“What were you doing in there? How can you even stand to be in the same room with him after everything he's done, after everything you said? Have you forgotten what he did to us, what he did to my family?” Have you forgotten that Stefano brainwashed EJ and sent him to Salem to kill all of you? Of course he can be in the same room as him.
“No, I haven't forgotten about that. But if you want to get something out of my Father, the way to do it is not to go in there shouting and screaming at him.” I like how EJ phrased this, like a kid angling for that bike he wants for Christmas.
“Now, you let me handle it calmly and carefully.” As EJ handles everything.



I would have enjoyed this a lot more had it not gone on forever. Joe was fantastic as was Thaao, but this was very self-indulgent writing. We the audience already know all this. We don’t need to hear it again.



EJ always takes care of his Samantha.



“You need to stop this now…but if you did, I wouldn’t get stuck alone with Sami. Wait, never mind.”



“What kind of crap are you spouting now, you fool? Family is what this has always been about. That’s the hook of the show, like Y&R is about fake business and GH is about the mob when it should be centered around a hospital.”



“Apparently I’ve been having problems sleeping. Now it’s only been a day chronologically since my father woke up, so I don’t know how that works exactly, but this is just filler dialogue anyway.”

Grade: B. Too little Ejami, too much Stefano and Tony.

Malice in the Afternoon



Nicole walks into the DiMansion to see Evil Crazy EJ and his Samantha doll seated at an ornately decorated table in the sitting room. Evil Crazy EJ is dressed in a white suit with yellow tie, and Samantha is wearing a beautiful white and yellow sundress.

Evil Crazy EJ (happily): “Hello, Nicole! Samantha is very pleased that you decided to be nice and come to our summer tea party!”

Samantha: "..."

Nicole looks at Evil Crazy EJ and his Samantha doll in utter confusion.

Nicole (baffled): “Pleased to be here…I guess. Uh, what the hell is going on, EJ?”

Evil Crazy EJ (pleasantly): “Samantha would prefer if you would not use bad words in her presence, Nicole. What do you mean?”

Nicole (warily): “Well, I hate to say this but, um, it looks like you’re having tea with a Barbie doll. I saw you talking to her as I walked in.”

Evil Crazy EJ (incredulously): “What did you just say?”

Nicole (unnerved): “I said...uh...I mean, you do know that’s a doll, right? It’s not really Sami. She’s not real.”

Evil Crazy EJ looks at his Samantha doll and back at Nicole.

Evil Crazy EJ (quietly): “Not real, eh?”

Nicole watches as Evil Crazy EJ picks up his Samantha doll and speaks to her.

Evil Crazy EJ (whispering and stroking Samantha’s hair): “I'm sorry I have to do this in front of you, sweetheart. You close your eyes, okay?”

Samantha: "..."

Evil Crazy EJ sets his Samantha doll down and turns back towards Nicole, smiling as he does so.

Evil Crazy EJ (sinisterly): "Say it again."

Nicole (annoyed): “Fine. Your supposed Sami here is actually a-"

Nicole screams as Evil Crazy EJ throws hot tea into her face. Uncontrolled rage pours out of him as he jumps onto her flailing body and begins beating her with a saucer.

Evil Crazy EJ (beyond reason): “I’ll show you what’s made out of plastic. When I’m done you’re going to end up 70% silicone. And Samantha is never going to invite you to our parties again!”

Ejami Film Noir on Hulu



It's August 18th where Nicole's fantasy turns out to be a nightmare.

Ejami Standing Around on Hulu



It's August 12th where Ejami and others see that Stefano is no longer in his hospital bed.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Ejami Family Time on Hulu



It's July 31st Ejami family time! Yea!