Sunday, July 20, 2008

Thursday, July 17th, 2008

Calling Trent Brent? Seriously, Evil EJ? That’s the best you can do? Between that and the crappy river reference, you’re rusty.

My least favorite EJ pairing and my least favorite set, show? It’s anti-entertainment!

“I don't like him, Nicole. I don't like the way he treats you.” I agree. Trent needs to stop coddling Nikki here and start getting violent.

“I find women fascinating, nephew. Do you find them troublesome?”
“Yes, I find them troublesome.” Ah, but you love your Trouble, don’t you?

“Hey, Doc, let’s repeat that dumb ‘Sami is losing both Lucas and EJ’ convo, okay?”

“Well, you know, maybe you should stop dressing like an attorney all the time. You ever hear of jeans and a t-shirt? Boots maybe. You know, girls-we dig it.” Yes, it’s not like he wore jeans just yesterday or anything.
“Thanks, Ava. I'll take that under consideration.” That means no.
“You know, you are a decent-looking guy.” Decent?!! Try devastating.
“Just loosen up a little.” DiMeras are classy, Ava.
“She's right, you know.” No, she’s not.
“You need to change it up. It keeps it interesting.” He already does! How else would we have both Causal EJ and Suit EJ, not to mention Shirtless EJ and Robe Hospital Gown EJ?
“As it happens, I am planning on making a few changes in my life. But the wardrobe-it stays.” As it should, Evil EJ. After all, your moral alignment is lawful evil. Man, this was the dumbest, most out of place convo in a while on this show. Talking about the Fed possibly raising interest rates would have been more exciting.

“Well...let's just say I've been Mr. Nice Guy...and look where that landed me, hmm?” Only a DiMera would confuse pretending to be a good person with actually being a good person.
“Single parent, divorced.” And only this stupid show would mistake a divorce for an annulment. Why bother making sense? It’s not like anyone’s going to notice.
“It's got to stop. I mean, if I'm gonna be a good example for my son, you know?” Like Stefano was for you. EJ’s conditioning runs deep.
“I want him to grow up to be strong, I’ve got to make some changes in my life.” Evil gets things done!

“You know, I've always rather admired you, John.” What?!
“Despite all the Bradys' attempts to steer you back to your old ways, you held firm. You didn't capitulate. I commend you for that.” Oh. Yes, just say NO to the Brady/Horton oligarchy.
“Power, control, a little bit of respect, maybe.” Sexy. And I love how power is first.
“So, whatever business ventures you're involved in-shipping or otherwise-I'd like to be involved in them, too.” Goodbye, evil lawyering, hello evil DiEmpire!
“I prefer to work alone.” Too bad. He’s not asking.
“Okay. I'll let you give it some thought, eh?” See, Evil EJ doesn’t take no for an answer.
“For my consideration, though, what is it that you can bring to the table?” Pure awesomeness.
“Well, legal expertise, obviously. And I have an extremely detailed understanding of all of my father's business dealings.” And you’ve literally gotten away with everything under the sun, including murder. Quite the evil resume.
“Nothing I can't get elsewhere.” I beg to differ. Evil EJ’s work ethic is unparalleled.
“ are family.” Ah, Santeen.

Trent, buddy, you are really letting me down with your ineffective threatening. You need to start stalking your Nikki here, okay?

“And let's not forget I wasn't always Mr. Nice Guy.” Oh, you silly show, you. How could I ever forget.

Grade: Evil EJ B, everything else F. Days, I won’t ask you to make sense from one show to the next here because clearly that’s beyond your meager abilities. However, I do ask that you raise your game here for overtly Evil EJ’s characterization. He is near omnipotent, strikingly brilliant, utterly depraved, and spellbindingly hilarious. He also loves his Samantha to a degree beyond obsession. If you’re going to keep him around full time, you need to man up right quick. This ain’t cutting it.

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