Sunday, July 20, 2008

Friday, July 18th, 2008

And all the girlies say
I’m pretty fly for a white guy

“You don’t trust me.” Trust you, Evil EJ? I may hate Jawn here, but that’s a really smart decision on his part not to do so, collaboration or no collaboration.

“Days actually remembered where I went to law school correctly this time? You’re kidding.”

Oh, EJ is so British!

“That poor man…to think what he’s gone through.”
“Yeah…tragic.” Oh, now that’s Evil EJ. I could listen to him say this all day.

I quite liked this filler with Judge Karen if for no other reason than watching Evil EJ work. He’s so charming yet manipulative.

Canary yellow is so not Sami’s color.

“How did you know that?”
“Closed circuit television.”
“That’s a little unnerving.” A little? Oh, Days, you did not need to go here. Now Jawn’s a perv. Ew!

It’s the couple that never ends
It just goes on and on, my friend
Days put them together not knowing what it was
And they are stuck with them like this forever just because
It’s the couple that never ends

“Still don’t trust me, eh?” Ask again. I don’t think he heard you the first four times.
“But one good deed does not erase the fact that you shot me and relieved me of one of my kidneys.” Oh, come on. You only need one kidney. It’s like he removed a spare.

“I did that for my father. Didn’t have a choice. You would have done it.” Again, his conditioning runs deep.
“If anything I’d like to think it would show you just how far I’d go to protect my family.” No lines you would not cross. I love it.
“And if I find that you can be as loyal to me as you were to Stefano, perhaps we can do business.” Well, we’ll see. It depends on whether or not Evil EJ is playing you here. I certainly hope he is. The DiEmpire belongs to him.

“So my evil level is about here right now. I’m trying to get it up higher, but this atrocious writing keeps getting in the way.”

What can I say, I’m not a Jawn fan. But I did like this convo because Jawn’s right. EJ did what was best for EJ, which was keeping his family, EJ, Sami, Johnny, and Ali, together by any means necessary.

“Hey, Samantha, what happened?” EJ asks, and Sami answers when both of them are supposed to be avoiding each other. They want to spend time together and look for any excuse to do so.

“You’re a mess. Look at you. You’re a mess, Samantha.” I’ll tell you what’s a mess, this cringeworthy dialogue. Evil EJ doesn’t talk like this! He’s much much wittier!

“You’re the one I’ll never forgive.” Ah, but Sami, if you didn’t care, why would you be hurt?
“What you’re doing is cruel.” Yeah, forcing Sami to live in a mansion instead of her awful dark and dingy apartment is a crime against humanity.
“Maybe. But it is necessary.” Exactly, Evil EJ. You have to force Sami to wake up.

Days, I’ll give you $20 bucks you can use for a new set if you replace that chess set with the following

“So what do you think, nephew? Are the parallels between Jarlena and Ejami blatant enough that the stupid audience gets the whole generational passing of the baton here?”
“Well, admittedly they are cretins, especially that Carpe character, so let’s make it a bit more obvious, shall we?”

“Ah. There. That’s better.”

Grade: Evil EJ B+, Ejami B, rest D. Show, you’re going too slowly. We all know where you’re headed, now go there! And fix the damn dialogue! We’re getting Kinda Evil EJ when we should be getting Full Effect Evil EJ because you’re making him talk like a moron. Go back and watch March and April 2007. He’s much smarter and more inventive than this crap.

1 comment:

  1. Carpe, I simply adore you... everything, the good the bad, everything....

    Thank you for keeping it real.