Monday, July 14th, 2008

Days, if you are trying to make me hate this outdoor set, you’re succeeding. You guys should start taking donations. I’d help out for something more interesting.



“Do you call your mommy every time you have sex?” Honestly, I don’t know what’s creepier here, that Chloe might actually do this or that Nicole went there and pointed it out. Ew.



“And in that instant, Inspector Poirot knew he had a new case.”



“Lucas would never do that.” Because Lucas never does anything wrong, right?
“It's true. Lucas and I had sex last night.” I wouldn’t be so proud of that, Chloe.
“You're lying.” Why would anyone lie about that? Ew again.
“If you don't believe me, just go ask Lucas.” Because he’s so truthful, isn’t he?
“You know what? You have been two-timing Lucas ever since he got out of prison.” No, she hasn’t been. She’s been chasing after Lucas, and he’s been leading her on.
“I needed a friend, and so did Lucas. Lucas called me because he was very upset. He overheard EJ and Nicole talking. EJ told her that you admitted to still having feelings for him.” This plot sounds even stupider when you say it out loud!
“He's a grown man. What was I supposed to do?” Run, Chloe! RUN!!!



“No, you ignored him and treated him like dirt.” Since when? Sami’s bent over backwards for Lucas. He emails her telling to move on and then gets all bent out of shape that she did so? Give me a break.
“You've been playing Lucas and EJ like puppets, having them dance around while you come and go, trying to decide which one to cut loose.” Um, no, she dropped EJ like a bad habit.
“You know what? It's time you face it, Sami-you have no one to blame but yourself!” It’s okay, Sami. You can just blame the writers like I do.





“What was that combo again? Left, left, right, left, kick, punch?”



“You're the one who drove Lucas to me because he found out that you have feelings have for EJ.” Oh, B.S. Lucas has been leading Sami on this entire time.



“I do not have feelings for EJ!” It’s not a spell, Sami. Saying it over and over again doesn’t make it come true.



Double the suck! Sorry, Chloe, but Sami is my number one girl.



Everyone loves punch and pie!



Insert your own joke about “licking” and “EJ” right here.



“All right, ladies-or should I say children?” Oh, come on, EJ. You can do better than that. That’s not even mildly amusing.



“What is wrong with you? Do you care about anybody else other than yourself?” Where to start, and no, not at the moment.
“I wonder who the first person you would have called would have been if you got arrested and charged with assaulting Chloe.” Mickey Horton?
“Did you know that Chloe and Lucas had sex the same time you and Nicole were going at it in the elevator?” Ugh, don’t remind me!
“But the fact of the matter is she certainly didn't force Lucas to have sex with her.” No, that’s what you and your Samantha do.
“I'll tell you what she didn't do, okay? She didn't take that ankle bracelet off Lucas' leg. He did that all on his own. And he sneaked out of the house all on his own, and I bet it wasn't the first time he skipped out.” Exactly.
“Lucas slept with her because of you.” No, Lucas slept with Chloe because he’s a moron.
“Of course. My fault. Everything's my fault, isn't it, darling? I should have thought of that earlier.” Blaming you is a trend with her as you very well know.
“That you have some feelings for me? Oh, boo hoo.” That’s it? Weak sauce, EJ. Weak sauce.
“Well, luckily, I'm cured of that forever. Just so you know, I'm taking the twins and moving out of the mansion tonight.” No, you’re not.



“There goes the woman of your dreams. Aren't you gonna run after her?” Thank you, Nicole, and thank you, show. Please have Nicole pimp Ejami more. It’s metal to my ears.



“So I was all oh wow, and he was all like really? I’m all really really, and-”



“I'm not a DiMera anymore. I'm a Brady.” Haven’t you ever watched a mob movie? You ain’t getting out of this, Sami. Not ever.



I think I see Daniel’s problem here. Chelsea is clearly Kate’s clone.



“EJ, my life has been a train wreck since the day I met you.” And that would be different from your life before how?
“I should be living in my apartment with Lucas, raising my children.” Yes, Lumi was the plan originally. Fifteen years of tru luv, only to get accidentally derailed by the DiMera interloper.
“Instead, I'm stuck in this haunted mansion with a bunch of freak-show rejects, and Lucas is on his way back to prison!” Happy days are here again!
“You brought this upon yourself.” No, that was the writers who approved this craptacular summer storyline, EJ.
“Samantha, you can want it all you like, but the life you're looking for is never coming back.” Exactly. Direction change!
“I know exactly why you slept with Nicole. You were trying to get even with me.” Yup.
“I am taking Johnny and Ali and getting the hell out of here, and there is not a damn thing you can do about it.” Sami, have you met EJ?



“Actually, you're wrong, Samantha. There is something I can do. In fact, I've already done it.” EJ’s motto is the same as the Boy Scouts. Be prepared.
“This is a court order. It, uh, forbids you from taking Johnny from our home until a custody hearing.” Our home, eh? Someone still thinks of Sami as his wife.
“Our home? This depressing place is hardly our home.” I *heart* the DiMansion myself.
“I'm sorry, Samantha. But, uh, I'm doing everything I have to do to keep my family together.” Yup. It’s time to play hardball.

Grade: B. I did not care at all for the food fight as Sami isn’t thirteen, but we are moving in the right direction here Ejamiwise and Nicole was barely in this, so I’ll be generous.

Another World

In the rubble of an abandoned hospital devastated by a tornado, EJ helps Sami deliver their baby. Afterwards, EJ pauses for an extremely long time, the look on his face completely unreadable. Worried, Sami calls out to him.

Sami (anxiously): "EJ, what's wrong? Is the baby all right?"

Shaken out of his trance, EJ looks up and over at Sami.

EJ (ethereal): "She's beautiful...just like her mother."

Nothing More Than Feelings

She is alone at the kitchen table later that night as she contemplates her extremely irritating and recalcitrant husband. Lost in thought about what to do next, Sami looks up as she faintly hears something only to see EJ enter the room and walk over to her.

EJ (lightly as he places his hand on the chair across from her): “Turnabout is fair play, eh?”

They stare at each other as his attempt at levity falls flat.

Sami (still angry with him): “Do you really have to do that?”

EJ (gesturing as he sits down): “Have to is such strong phrasing.”

Sami (making the leap): “So you’re ready to apologize.”

EJ (considering): “I would, but you’re not ready to forgive me yet. And I’m not sorry for everything.”

Sami (incredulously): “You’re not serious.”

EJ (raising an eyebrow): “I’m always serious.”

Sami (moving her head): “Why not?”

EJ (leaning back): “Well, I could have been less…abrasive, certainly, but I’m not incorrect, darling. Don’t pretend this is an entirely altruistic endeavor on your part.”

Sami (direct): “It is.”

EJ (evenly): “No, it’s not.”

Sami (imploringly): “Yes, it is. I just want to help you. That’s it. I don’t have any sort of hidden agenda.”

EJ (dryly): “Sure you do. Fix your emotionally broken husband.”

Sami (exasperated): “That’s not hidden!”

EJ (folding his arms): “The fixing, no. The reason, yes. You don’t want to be married to me-you want to be married to some sanitized version of me.”

EJ looks at Sami challengingly.

Sami (frowning slightly): “You’re right. I’m not ready to forgive you.”

EJ (nodding): “I thought so.”

Husband and wife sit in silence for several moments. Surrounded by quiet, Sami studies EJ’s rumpled pajamas and his hair widely sticking up in all directions.

Sami (suddenly wondering): “What are you doing up, EJ?”

EJ (not answering): “I came to see where you were. Seems to be quite the spot for contemplation.”

Sami (still questioning): “But why are you awake?”

He pointedly avoids looking at her.

Sami (sighing loudly): “Oh, EJ…”

EJ (not even trying to avoid the next question): “Not every night.”

Sami (saying it): “But most?”

At EJ’s affirmative nod, Sami sighs again.

Sami (cringing): “Did you at least get a break before they started again?”

EJ (considering as he rubs his face): “Yes, actually I did. Two nights in a row.”

Sami marvels at how little time that actually is.

Sami (not wishing to offend him): “EJ, I thought you were bet-okay. I mean, you seemed to be sleeping fine to me. I haven’t seen you wake up or…do anything.”

EJ (willing to go there): “Act out, you mean. Well, I have been stealing some quality nap time during the day, and I’m used to pushing myself hard. Besides, I knew you wanted me to be better, sweetheart.”

Sami (annoyed yet touched): “So you pretended to be for me?”

EJ (contradicting himself): “No, not exactly. I didn’t want you to worry about me any longer, but I wanted that too. I thought I could make it happen, you know? We already talked once. That-that should have been it.”

Sami (disappointed as well): “I hoped so, too. As far as the bad dreams are concerned, anyway, if not anything else. Is it different from last time?”

EJ (nodding): “Yes, I think so…although I’m not sure. I don’t-”

Realizing that Sami has gotten him to open up again, EJ stops speaking for a moment before smiling sheepishly at her.

EJ (measuring her): “You really are good at this, aren’t you?”

Sami (seriously): “You can’t just suffer in silence, EJ.”

EJ (chuckling in spite of himself): “I could say that’s what I’ve always done, eh?”

Sami (encouragingly): “You’ve already started. I know something. One more thing won’t change anything.”

EJ (sadly): “It already has.”

Sami watches as EJ swallows hard.

Sami (softly): “I’m sorry.”

EJ (disbelieving): “But you’re not. Not really.”

Sami (admitting): “You’re right. I’m not sorry you finally told me something. But I am sorry that I hurt you by what I implied in what I said.”

Sami reaches out and takes EJ’s hand in hers.

Sami (with conviction): “I still admire your strength, EJ. You protect me in so many ways.”

Knowing that she means it, EJ smiles at Sami.

EJ (warmly): “Thank you.”

EJ (still smiling): “And I…think highly of your understanding. Between the stonewalling and the threats, I haven’t been the most helpful patient, have I?”

Sami (smiling back): “I’m not a real therapist, so it evens out.”

Holding hands, EJ and Sami enjoy each other’s company before she continues.

Sami (genuinely interested): “So what was the nightmare about?”

EJ (shaking his head): “I’m serious, Samantha. I don’t want to discuss it.”

Sami (worried): “EJ, you shouldn’t hide this from me.”

EJ (giving her a look): “I already have, darling.”

Sami (making her point): “Which is exactly what I mean. This isn’t good for you.”

EJ (adjusting in his chair): “I don’t want to talk about it. And certainly not when you’re angry with me.”

Sami (insistent): “I still can help you.”

EJ (shaking his head): “No, you can’t.”

EJ (sighing): “Based on before…on last time…”

EJ pauses as he is unwilling to give his memories more reality than they already have by naming their previous conversation.

EJ (very reluctantly): “Samantha, you and I both know that the reason you press me about this when I’m exhausted is because it works. You found me when I was most susceptible to speaking about it because it was fresh in my mind. So I gave in. I wouldn’t have agreed to otherwise. But when I tell you about what happened, I get…I get…”

He frowns.

EJ (unable to find the right word): “Confused.”

Sami (encouragingly): “And that’s perfectly okay. I know how hard this is for you. Even if I didn’t before, I do now. You know I do.”

EJ (trying to make sense of it): “I do. It’s just…I haven’t thought about any of this for a very long time…and I don’t want to think about it either, so when I explain it to you, I have to remember what happened. And after I spend a little time thinking about it, it all comes back, even if it wasn’t there at first. What time of year it was, how old I was, where we were at the time, how Father used to look at me…”

EJ shakes himself slightly before he continues.

EJ (struggling): “And then….and then it’s different. I’m different. And I know that afterwards. But not when it’s happening. Because then I can’t tell. But I know you can.”

EJ looks at Sami intensely, trying to convey the depth of the experience to her.

EJ (explaining as best he can): “Samantha…when I’m…confused…everything makes sense then. More than this does.”

Sami nods as she gets what he means when he involuntarily exchanges one reality for another.

Sami (empathically): “I understand why you feel that way, EJ.”

Noticing the precise phrasing she chose, EJ slumps in his chair.

EJ (looking down): “But you don’t feel that way. Because you know that’s wrong.”

Sami (understandingly): “Feelings aren’t wrong.”

EJ (agreeing): “No, they aren’t. But I also think that it’s right, and that is wrong. And I know that, but I think and feel that way anyway.”

Sami (reassuringly): “It’s not your fault. It’s Stefano’s. He made you into what you were. And you defeated him. You won. You became your own man. You freed yourself.”

EJ (looking up): “Only because I love you, and it could have just as easily gone the other way. It almost did. I’d happily be stealing internal organs for the rest of my life. Because I would be. You saw me earlier today. You know what I am. And I like being this man. Why I’m not sorry for all of it. How could you ever say that’s normal?”

Sami (strongly): “Why are you so insistent that it’s not? I mean, if I had been raised by Stefano, who’s to say that I wouldn’t want to-”

EJ (interrupting her quietly): “Samantha.”

Sami (apologetically): “I’m sorry. This isn’t about me. It’s about you.”

EJ (quietly): “No, I would just rather not think about that. It would not have gone well for you as a Brady or a DiMera.”

After a moment, she realizes that he is completely serious.

Sami (running through possibilities): “What else are you not telling me?”

EJ (honestly): “Almost everything.”

Sami (pleading): “Tell me.”

EJ (firmly): “No. Especially not now.”

Remembering what he is referring to, Sami chuckles.

Sami (yawning suddenly): “I almost forgot I was mad at you.”

EJ (smiling softly): “I know. It’s okay. Go back to bed.”

Sami (tugging on his hand): “Okay. Let’s go.”

EJ (rubbing the back of his neck): “I can’t.”

Sami (patiently): “Yes, you can. You need to sleep, EJ.”

EJ (adamant): “I can’t. Not now.”

Sami (not wanting to leave him alone): “Yes, you can. I’ll help.”

EJ (tilting his head): “No. You don’t want to.”

Sami (downplaying): “I’ll still hold you.”

EJ (miserably): “But not because you want to.”

Sami (unable to take it back): “That doesn’t really matter, does it?”

EJ (the pain reflecting in his eyes): “It matters to me. You meant what you said, my dear.”

Sami (regretfully): “EJ…I’m sorry. I should have never-”

EJ (shrugging it off): “It’s okay. I’ll stay here. You’re barely managing to stay awake. Go to bed.”

Sami glances at the clock on the wall and hesitates for a moment before releasing EJ’s hand.

Sami (kissing him on the cheek as she gets up): “All right, but don’t stay here long. You need to get some rest too. I don’t want you to be here all night. Understand?”

EJ (solemnly): “No sleeping on hard surfaces or hiding under furniture, I promise. Now get going or I will carry you there.”

Knowing that he would make good on his threat, Sami moves to leave the room, glancing back at EJ sitting alone in the kitchen as she does so.

Sami (softly): “Good night.”

EJ (sincerely): “Sweet dreams, sweetheart.”

The Kinda Okay Week in Review

Monday and Tuesday



So apparently EJ called out Sami’s name during the elevator sex, huh? Well, I wouldn’t worry about that, Nicole. Everything worked out just fine for Ross and Emily-oh wait.

Wednesday



So I’m back to watching, and EJ is back to the 1986 cruise ship captain outfits for some strange reason. At least he can pull them off.



“Hey, Nicole. There you are. I've been trying to get ahold of you. I called you a few times.” Of course you did, EJ.
“Actually, EJ, I'm kind of in a hurry.” Oh, not anymore you’re not.
“Can you slow down for a second, please? I just, I just wanted to talk about what happened last night.” Yes, you need to talk to her. It’s important.
“What's there to talk about? It was sex-no big deal.” *snicker* Ah, let’s change the channel and fill you in here, you stupid twit.



“Nicole, you’ve just had nasty elevator sex with EJ. Tell her what she’s won, Rich!”

“It’s a lifetime of emotional baggage, Drew! Years of brainwashing by Stefano has left EJ’s psyche a scarred wasteland incapable of self-identification. Since he’s unable to emotionally support himself, he has to rely on you to meet his daily needs. Sami had no problem fulfilling his incessant pleas for reassurance as it made her feel special, but you’re about to buckle under the strain. Better refill that Xanax prescription.”



“Nicole, wait, wait, please. Just-just give me two minutes, okay?” “What happened last night was not just sex. And we both know that. So can we...not pretend?” “Okay...like you agree?” “Look, I understand that it's scary for you. It's scary for me, too. And I don't know what last night meant, and I don't know what it's gonna mean, but I do know that what happened last night was very special for me.” Isn’t EJ’s emotional dependence cute? He’s like a very young boy in the way he perceives certain situations.
“It was special for me, too.” But you shouldn’t encourage him, Nicole. You’re not going to like the result.



“EJ DiMera.” Oh, I love it when he says that. Infinitely better than Wells.
“I’m a lawyer. And a criminal mastermind, but I probably shouldn’t advertise that last one.”



“Did you go to school together? I didn't know you had a PhD in physics, darling.” EJ, Nicole can’t even spell differential equation, much less solve one. Also, this is a pretty lame joke. Step it up.
“And, Nicole, darling, if we could continue that conversation later, I'd be grateful, so I'm just gonna be taking a seat, okay?” Oh, he’s going to get on your nerves already, isn’t he?



“I'm just saying that I want you to end your relationship with EJ. Immediately.” Trent, old buddy, old pal! Might I take this opportunity to say that I loved you as Michael and Kevin’s abusive dad and Ashley’s stalker on Y&R.



“You know what? I am glad I found a man who treats me with respect. Now I just need to figure out why I think that man is Lucas.”



“You want to sit down? You want to talk about it?” Man, he’s attentive, isn’t he?
“Look, EJ...last night was...very special. And I need you to know that I do not regret one moment...but it can never happen again. You're amazing. And you deserve to be happy, and that's why this relationship needs to stay strictly professional.” Um, Nicole, I think Trent meant no relationship at all, not just no personal relationship.
“Nothing's going on. I'm just trying to get my life in order.” And by life, you mean storyline.
“You're shutting me out of it. Do you want to tell me what this is really about?” Sure, it’s about that Trent dude blackmailing Nicole, and the ratings tanking over this Ejole thing.
“You're in love with Sami.” Damn right he is.
“I want a real relationship, not just sex.” I’ll believe that when I see it.
“This was not just sex, Nicole.” Wanting something to be more doesn’t make it so, EJ. And you don’t really want that to have meant anything anyway. You just need someone with you to reassure you since Sami isn’t available.
“Yeah, I was okay with it at first, but I want more.” And the show wants more ad dollars, so the ratings need to go up.
“Okay. I don't get any say in this?” and “No, EJ, you don’t.” Reasoning aside, I have to say that I agree with this here. If you want to end things, you don’t need the other person’s permission. You just have to make sure you’re honest with them and they know about it before you move on. In other words, don’t do what Lucas is doing to Sami.



Like stalker, like son.

Grade: B. Sure, I’d much rather watch Ejami or Evil EJ feeding Nicole into a meat grinder, but watching Nicole squirm as EJ unintentionally suffocates her isn’t half bad. Sami aside, this is why Ejole can never work. Nicole needs a relationship with space, and EJ cannot have any space in his. I find it highly amusing Nicole was so busy getting back at Sami she never thought to herself what kind of man would actually want Sami as his first choice. You think this is clingy, Nicole? EJ’s just going to hold on to you tighter as he wants you to be as close to him as possible. He’s the veritable definition of high maintenance.

Thursday



“I just want to end this depressing chapter in my life.” Actually, Nicole, I’d say Ejole is more infuriating than depressing, but hey, whatever works.
“Does that also include our relationship?” Oh, yeah, baby!
“Nicole, please. I don't mind if you don't answer my question as much as I mind if you don't acknowledge it,” “We do. We have enough time. Can we please talk about what happened earlier?” and “Look, you can tell me that you don't want to have a relationship with me, but you can't expect me not to question why.” Ah, EJ. You’re relentless in your need for reassurance.
“We didn't really have a relationship. We're not friends. You're my lawyer, a lawyer I had sex with. That's it” and “I don't want to talk about this anymore, EJ. What happened in the elevator is a one-time thing, and you need to accept that.” You tell him, Nicole. Man, he’s already getting to you, isn’t he?



“In case you don't already know, Chloe thinks they're friends. She's been after him for a while now. And when I find out about her having sex with Lucas, I’m going to look really, really stupid.”



“Don’t mind me. This part of the episode certainly didn’t.”



“Lucas, I'm sorry.” I’m not. Oh, it’s almost over! Die, Lumi! Die!
“Don't cry, all right? I hate to see you cry. You know that.” LIAR! It is what you do.
“I just-I just feel like I'm losing you all over again.” Yes! Woo hoo!
“You're not gonna lose me.” Yeah, she’s going to finally walk away.
“You knew what would happen if you broke house arrest again, Lucas. What was it-what made you leave the mansion?” and Philip's “Yeah, Lucas. What was so important that you'd risk everything, including seeing your daughter grow up?” Apparently Chloe is that good.



“Can I be your dog walker? Acupuncturist? Custodial technician?”

Grade: D. Man, this was boring. Yes, yes, I know, Days. Lumi won’t be over over until Sami finds out about the Luloe sex, and this was about ending Victor and Nicole’s marriage more than it was about featuring EJ, but sheesh. Both EJ and Sami were barely in this and with the wrong people when they were. At least Nicole pimped Ejami again. Of course EJ loves Sami.

Short EJ Clip on Hulu

It's July 9th, and it's EJ meeting Trent included in a Morgan clip for some reason-anyway, I took the liberty of cutting out all the non-EJ, so it's about 34 seconds or so.

EJ Is Funny 7

So the instant Evil EJ shows up in full effect is when I get enough jokes to finish this. He really does have a monthly quota of wisecracks.

Amazing Ejami Clip on Hulu

It's June 30th where EJ gets Sami to admit she has feelings for him. Absolutely spellbinding, and now in high 480p definition!

The Halfway Decent Week of June 30th, 2008 in Review

Monday



Hey, it’s…Casual Overt Evil EJ?!! Nice to see you of course, but I must say it’s a tad jarring. Talk about instant oatmeal here. Even I’m getting whiplash.



Ah, clumsy exposition. Yes, Sami, EJ was lying to you and the annulment went through, although I think you’re still married in the eyes of the Church, not that the show would remember that. You can’t just send in a form for that.



“Samantha, all I want is for our son to grow up and have a normal, healthy childhood.” Um, Evil EJ, healthy you can achieve, but we passed normal a long time ago.
“No, I'm gonna do anything to keep my family together,” and “Well, what do you want me to say?! I'm not sorry for trying to keep my family together,” and “Oh, shut up. ‘We were never a family.’ You know what? I was a husband to you and a father to both of those twins in every possible way, bar none.” Exactly. Evil EJ is a great husband and father, and all he’s ever wanted is a family, so of course he did what he had to do to protect it.



“You- after everything-you blackmailed me into marrying you, and then you tricked me into thinking that we were still married?” Sami, you browbeat EJ into marrying you in order to end the feud. He asked you if you still wanted to do it like a zillion times.
“For all I know, that whole bit about immigration and Mr. Burke and everything was another one of your stupid schemes. Ugh!” And survey says…
“You know what? As a matter of fact, it was.” Oh yeah baby! This is totally awesome!
“My visa did expire... but given the circumstances of my birth, when the immigration department looked into it, they determined that I was eligible for a dual citizenship, so... I made Mr. Burke, I suppose you could call, a very generous offer, and he agreed to play along.” And since you had money to bribe Immigration Dude at a time when you were supposedly penniless, you do have money hidden away in offshore bank accounts. Ah, Evil EJ, how I *heart* you.
“And you went to all that trouble because you wanted us to be together?” Of course he did. He’d do anything for you.



“Samantha, you pretty much wrote the book on deception. And may I add that chapter fifteen was rather tedious.”



“I've been lucky enough to have Lucas teach me that the most important thing in a relationship is to be open and honest with the person that you love. How has he shown me this? By being an example of the exact opposite, a total hypocrite.”



“This is about the fact that no matter what you say, you are still the same evil, manipulative jerk you have always been.” I know! Isn’t it great?



It’s a Sci-Fi channel original movie!



“Samantha, if the tables had been turned, you would have done the exact same thing.” Yup, you two are complements. The bad boy and the bad girl.
“No. All right, fine. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry.” Evil EJ almost never apologizes. He’s serious!



“Don't do this.” Now where have I heard that before?



“Samantha, just a moment ago, you told me how much you changed. You told me how honest you were. And yet just two minutes later, you're standing in front of me, and you're lying to me. And you're lying to yourself.” Yes, exactly, Evil EJ.
“No. No, I'm not.” Yes, you are! For more than a year now! You love him! You know you do!



“Look, but you can't deny it, either, can you? Can you? No, see, I didn't think you could. I know. I know, Samantha, that there is a part of you that has feelings for me. I know it. I know it. Please, just for once, would you please just be honest with yourself just for a moment...and tell the truth?”
“Oh, God. You know I do.” Simply breathtaking. I could watch this forever with the almost kiss and EJ’s tone of voice. Am I glad that this part is what Hulu decided to immortalize.

Grade: Split decision. A for the last two minutes, B+ for the rest. This is March 30th and April 2nd 2007 all over again, not that I’m complaining as I loved those episodes. I’m just saying the show might want to remember when it’s already done something. You know, just for kicks for once.

Tuesday



Someone renewed his clothing morality waiver, didn’t he?



“Well, I don't think Bo and Hope would mind me being there.” Yeah, I’m sure they’re totally over that whole you trying to kill Bo and Shawn with Steve thing.
“You'd like that, wouldn't you?” Oh, Evil EJ, I love how you said this. So sinister.



I have to say, I did like both of these asides with the alcohol. Ah, Evil EJ, I can always count on you, can’t I? You’ve been overt for only two episodes, and already I was able to finish my “EJ is Funny 7” montage. Keep it up!



“Something good did happen. But, um, you're probably the last person I want to tell about it. But you’re the only one here, and TPTB don’t let me talk to myself anymore, so here we go.”



Stairs 1, Evil EJ 0. He really should hang onto the railing next time.



“Ah, Rolf, um, could we get some crumbled eggs, dijon, and toast points? Thank you.” Between that food order and the suit, Evil EJ could not be more of a DiMera. Have you not seen any of those Fourth of July commercials? You’re doing it wrong.



“Samantha has feelings for me. I’ve only known that for more than a year now, but hey, there’s nothing soaps do better than tread water, eh?”



Aw, Evil EJ looks just like his dad here!

Grade: C-. Evil EJ was totally hot, but it’s a sad commentary on the actual episode when the highlight is him accidentally tripping on the stairs. Even here James shows he’s the consummate professional as he just gets up and keeps on going without drawing focus away from the actual scene by saying anything.

Wednesday

I didn’t watch as I have to take a stand somewhere, and this is it. I’m sure Hero EJ and Robo EJ both performed admirably.