Monday, May 26th, 2008

Now this is how you drink evilly. Philip, take note. And of course EJ doesn’t care about the commotion down at the docks. He has thinking to do.



“Enjoy the demonic suit while you can, Carpe. I’m barely in this episode.”



“You're the love of my life. There will never be another you. I thought you knew that.” Never mind those fourteen years I spent chasing after your sister.
“Thank God you missed.” So we’re retconning Wheelchair EJ then? That would be a good thing as that means the bullet is no longer stuck in EJ’s back. Permission granted.



Oh, what I would not do for Bricole right now.



“What about EJ's insane acts? Mr. Rapist-that's not insane?”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odcJ-vS22rI

Mr. Rapist
Bring me post traumatic stress disorder
Bum bum bum bum bum

But seriously, Days, don’t get cute. Leave it alone! It won’t heal otherwise.

“You are a very resourceful person. You could have found another way to take care of that. But you didn't, did you? I mean, you're attracted to him, right? So when he gave you the ultimatum, you just took it and you ran with it, because that's what you wanted the whole time.” Given the lovely nickname you just gave EJ, this means you are blaming Sami for being raped. Bravo, Lucas, I think you’ve achieved a new level of stupidity.
“I was just trying to hurt you.” As always. Makes you feel important, doesn’t it?



“Half a million worth of cocaine.” Talk about a smack in the face that Days’ morality laws have been repealed. Even General Hospital is clear to reiterate that neither Sonny nor Jason approve of drug trafficking.



“I warned you over and over. I told you how he works. He's a snake. He worms his way into your life... takes over your heart. The next thing you know, Sami, he got to you,” “The guy is a manipulative, destructive son of Stefano,” “It's probably another DiMera trick or something, Sami” and “He was doing it for you-to impress you, to soften you up so he could seduce you even more.” What do you know, Lucas and I are on the same page when it comes to EJ. Yes, that is exactly what Evil EJ is doing, and it is glorious.
“Lucas, he didn't seduce me...he didn't trick me...and he didn't manipulate me. I wanted him.” Yes, Sami, but EJ put you in the exact position where you would open yourself up him. He set you up.



Jawn the Pawn, complete with Kung Fu action grip!



“Drugs? In one of John's containers? Really? What are you talking about? No, I am not smiling widely-I was trying to hold a sneeze back.”



“Whoa, Elvis.” Another on the “Let’s call EJ Elvis” bandwagon. See who else you can convince, Nicole.
“Nicole, for the last time, I am not going home with you, all right?” You tell her, EJ, especially since home for her is the Kiriakis mansion with Victor and Chloe and Philip which would be rather awkward.



“He was so sweet and adorable and loving.” And what does it say that Evil EJ is a warmer man than you are, Lucas?
“I just want you to understand that EJ has changed.” You just keep thinking that, Sami.
“He was compassionate and patient and tolerant and understanding, and he was so good with the twins.” Evil EJ is a wonderful husband and father.
“I don't want to hear about your sweet, tender rock.” Sweet, tender rock? I guess EJ is pumice then, although obsidian or scoria also work.



“I do have feelings for EJ, but they will go away if you and I start over. Because no matter what...you, Lucas, you are the love of my life. You always have been. And I just am begging you to give me the chance to prove that to you, to prove to you that I mean what I say.” Too bad for Lucas that you’re a pathological liar, Sami, because you never mean what you say. But good for EJ and yourself.



“EJ isn't the only one who's changed.” Yes, Heroine Sami is finally dying.
“You're acting like a complete fool. You're falling for his scam.” Go Evil EJ’s diabolical plan!
“It's not a scam.” Yes, it is. And it’s lovely.
“It is a scam. He's playing you, just as he always has, but this time it's working, isn't it?” Yup. Gotta love those direction changes. Scheming to win the girl never would have been allowed to actually work before.
“No, I don't think we can get back together. I don't think we can start over.” Die, Lumi, die!

Grade: C. Barely any Demonic Suit EJ, and watching Lumi is painful. Seriously, it’s 2000 or 2002 or 2004 again. Sami’s “screwed up,” Lucas won’t forgive her, and Sami’s got to grovel to win him back until she inevitably does something he doesn’t like again, and the pattern repeats itself. Time for EJ to break the cycle.

Friday, May 23rd, 2008

Yeah, there’s nothing I like to do more than talk sex with my mom. And Sami, I like the top a lot but not the color. You’re not an autumn.



Bru Bru, you have got to hook me up. I’ll give you 20 bucks if you can get EJ to wear a black t-shirt with TEH EVILS written on it.



“Will Lucas be able to forgive me?” Oh, I certainly hope not.



“You could move out.” Yeah, why should Elvis DiMera live in the DiMera mansion? That’s just crazy talk. And I heard a rumor that there was a joke in here but beats me what it was. Insulting Lucas is only noteworthy if it’s funny. I heard nothing amusing here.



Ali knows who her daddy is!



“If it’s a ‘69, she was expecting me.”



Yes, EJ is always there for his Samantha. If only we could say the same about her being there for him.



Chelvis lives!



Oh, man. This is one of the best suits I’ve ever seen EJ in. I mean, damn. Black suit and red tie? Evil EJ sings the body demonic.



“Rolf, did you ever do something that you enjoyed at the time but regretted later?” Sami, he was Stefano’s evil mad doctor. Talk about a usual day at the office for him.



What a difference a few days makes. That looks painful.



So, Chelvis. Better than Ejcole, but that’s not exactly saying much, is it? Ah, I liked it anyway even if it was completely superfluous. In another universe, EJ and Chloe would be a good couple. He’d use her opera singing career for his criminal empire’s money laundering.

Grade: EJ’s suit A, rest B-. EJ was teh awesome as usual, but way too much of him standing around with Lumi in this episode for my taste. And I must thank Chelvis’ silly three second coffee appearance here as I would have never gotten Evil EJ’s demonic suit without it. I must see that again.

Ejami Lovemaking on Hulu

I've cut all the Lucas out of this, so the first two are of Ejami together and the last one is of EJ throwing the pillow.

Thursday, May 22nd, 2008

“You slept with the devil!” Lucas, have you not listened to Metallica? That totally works out fine.
“You lying, cheating whore!” Nice. What are you going to do next, hit her?



“Call me if you need me.” Aw, you sweetie.



Three people I hate, and one in the mode where she might as well be another character. Sorry, Sami, it’s time for fast forward.



I know the show has no sets, but come on! This makes about as much sense as Phloe hanging out in the Pub after hours, so of course that happened today too.



“What is wrong with you?” Where to start, EJ, where to start? And you should have met old Nicole. This one really isn’t one you should be complementing on her intelligence.



“And stop with the jokes.” Um, when did he start? Making fun of your drinking is hardly challenging.
“Lucas is the only person besides herself Sami’s ever loved.” Show, you know that’s not right, and it’s insulting to anyone who liked her with Dallas or Brandon.
“You don’t have any chance with Sami.” Well, considering how soaps work, he’s totally good to go then.



“I’m not willing to admit defeat just yet.” That’s right. Back on the horse already. Your sheer persistence is both remarkable and admirable.
“I’m head over heels for Samantha” and “Samantha will realize that I’m the man she loves” Yes, you need your Samantha, and eventually she’ll see that she needs you too.



“Here’s a crappy cell photo of your son. I hope that makes up for the whole inadvertently whacking your father thing.”

Grade: C-. Everything but Summer EJ including the Phloe bored me, and I did not want to see Summer EJ with Nicole today. I wanted to see Evil EJ making some jokes and practicing some new strangulation techniques. Sigh.

Wednesday, May 21th, 2008

Nicole’s fault? Um, no, I don’t think so, and even if it were somehow, certainly not for that much.



“Yeah, you know. . . girl's got to have her fun.” Looked more than fun to me.
“Well, making love was a lot more fun than you remember. I don't know why won't you admit that?” Because then Ejami would be together right now, and TPTB need to end Lumi first.



“Really. Samantha, look at me. The way you made love to me…” Aw, it’s sweet when you say it that way.
“Give me a break. Crying 10 miles away.”
“That's not good hearing. That's being a good mother.” Dude is always free with the complements, isn’t he?



"I hope that you would let me, just stay right there, and we could just fall asleep in each other's arms? I'm worth keeping around. Don't you?" Here EJ shows exactly how he thinks of himself emotionally. He is Sami’s husband first, EJ DiMera second. He has no self-identity, which is why he needs to be reassured of his place in her world. It’s heartbreaking.



“I’m home!” No, you aren’t. It’s the DiMera mansion, not the Horton mansion. And I like how Lucas knocks at the same time he’s opening the door. How in the heck is that supposed to help warn anyone of anything? Wow, I’ve got two seconds of advance notice that you’re coming into the room. And of course Ejami didn’t lock the door. Same reason no one ever uses any form of birth control. The plot demands it!



Oh, how could I possibly have not missed this?



Yeah, timing is everything, isn’t it? I’m sorry your plan is going to hurt you so much, EJ. Unfortunately, you’re right. There’s no other way for Sami to choose you the way you want and the way you deserve. She has to see for herself that Lucas is not the man for her.



I don’t give a crap about Lucas or his whining, so let’s play spot the extra instead. This Salem PD officer previously appeared on the show in January when EJ punched him in the police station. Perhaps we shall see him again sometime.



I know, EJ. Going to be quite a bit of this standing around again for a while.



Let the eavesdropping continue.



There it is again!



“Is your not real daddy a convicted felon? Yes, he is!”

Grade:



EJ A, Sami D, Lucas F. I’ve never cried at Days, and I still haven’t, but today I came close. EJ is an open wound emotionally, and Sami keeps unintentionally pouring salt on him. He needs her to hold him, and she simply doesn’t understand. I’m still thinking about it.