I Wouldn't Want to Hurt His Feelings

Good EJ and Carpe are standing next to each other.

Carpe (reluctantly): “So what inane-I mean, lovely, plans do you have for us today?

Good EJ (pleased): “Well, I was thinking we could take a walk in the park, and then go to the flower expo at the Salem Civic Center. After our day there, we can come back here and cuddle up together while we watch the Lifetime Movie Network.”

Carpe (catching herself): “That sounds st-wonderful. Hey, could you get my coat for me?”

Good EJ (nodding): “Sure, darling.”

As soon as Good EJ is out of the room, Carpe takes a tranquilizer gun out of a nearby cabinet, adjusts the settings, and shoots herself with it. She rehides the weapon before Good EJ comes back.

Carpe (nicer): “I’m ready to go when you are.”