Your Favorite Deduction

Sami (nodding): "Okay, so I've got all my stuff from last year."

Sami dumps out a box with all kinds of papers on her couch. EJ raises an eyebrow.

EJ (dryly): "Your organizational skills are unparalleled."

Sami (brushing him off): "I'll get organized when I get audited. Anyway, so now that we're married, are we filing the 1040 long form jointly? I mean, you have investments and everything that we need to account for, right?"

EJ looks pensive.

Sami (shaking her head): "Don't tell me you want to do the 1040EZ form-how else are we supposed to get our deductions?"

EJ (contemplating): "Sweetheart, you know I'm not American. Do I even need to file?"

Sami (thinking): "Well, you earned income in this country, so I'm sure you do. But we can check irs.gov."

EJ grabs Sami's hand as she turns to go get EJ's laptop.

EJ (innocently): "That's not all we need to check out."

EJ pulls Sami in for a long kiss, and Sami smiles at him afterward.

Sami (smiling): "Why don't we do this later?"

EJ grins.

EJ (raising an eyebrow): "I'm all about filing extensions."

More Ejami kisses.

I Prefer Nice and Slow

While the twins are asleep, EJ and Sami are in the kitchen of their cabin making cupcakes.

Sami (reading the box in her hand): “Pillsbury Funfetti cake mix? That’s for birthdays, not Valentine’s Day. And how is us dumping this into a bowl baking?”

EJ (shrugging): “Unfortunately for us, darling, I’m pretty sure our author has no idea how to make them from scratch.”

Carpe (busy): “No, I can make cupcakes fine, I just I don’t have time for it. I’m also behind on the show. Hopefully you guys weren’t turned into zombies or anything in the last two episodes because this would look stupid otherwise.”

Sami (rolling her eyes): “Like it doesn’t already?”

EJ (annoyed): “Indeed. We’re already there with that inauspicious beginning. Barely two lines into this, and not only do you rudely insert yourself, you reference the undead.”

Carpe (sighing): “Points taken. Fine. Let’s start over.”



While the twins are asleep, EJ and Sami are in the kitchen of their cabin making homemade Valentine’s Day cupcakes.

Sami (behind the counter and wiping her hands on her apron): “There’s the eggs. I think that’s it. Have we forgotten anything?”

EJ (sitting on the counter and looking at the paper in front of him): “No, that’s everything according to the recipe. Thank goodness for the internet, eh?”

Sami (tilting her head): “Sure. At least this way it’s not our fault if they don’t turn out right.”

EJ (smiling): “Sounds good to me, sweetheart.”

Sami picks up a spoon and the ingredients bowl and starts stirring. EJ watches her struggle with mixing the ingredients together.

EJ (getting up): “Here, let me help you.”

EJ comes behind Sami and envelops her, holding her with his left arm and helping her to stir with his right. Sami feels the strength in EJ’s body and relaxes against him as he forces the spoon through the batter.

EJ (quietly): “It just takes a bit of finesse, darling.”

As they move their arms in circles together, Sami feels the warmth of EJ’s hand on top of hers. After a few minutes, EJ stops stirring.

EJ (looking down at Sami): “There we go. Looks to good to me. What about you?”

Sami (looking up at EJ): “Almost. I think it could use a little more.”

EJ (raising his eyebrow): “A little more, eh? I suppose we wouldn’t want the cupcakes to get burned because we had to overcook them, now would we?”

Sami (raising her eyebrow): “No, we wouldn’t.”

EJ continues to hold Sami as they slowly mix the ingredients together.

Heart Shaped Box

From EJ to Sami

From Sami to EJ



From Lucas to Sami



From Sami to Lucas



From EJ to Lucas

I Did It All for the Nookie

EJ walks in on Sami as she finishes watching Lucas' DVD. While the DVD is still playing, she suddenly jumps up and runs into his arms. EJ holds Sami and kisses her on her head as she cries.

EJ (concerned): "Sweetheart, what's wrong? Did the DVD have something bad on it?"

Sami (bawling): "No, EJ, it's not that-it's the editing! Lucas can't do a scene transition to save his life! I'm always cut off midsentence! And the music selection is awful-our love isn't like Limp Bizkit!"

Quid Pro Quo

Stefano (fuming): "Give me back my empire, you idiot!"

Jawn (irate): "Only if you give me back my kidney!"

Monday, February 11th, 2008

“Lucas, just because the Megadeth song is called ‘1000 Times Goodbye’ doesn’t mean you actually say goodbye a thousand times.”



“That’s better. Good thing I brought my couch, pillows, and horrible brown ceramic vase here to the safe house, eh?”





“If only the show had a CGI budget-I really could use some of my other personalities helping me right now.”



“I first thought about calling them abominations instead, but that seemed a tad harsh.”



“Richard, no!”



"Man, these blankets sure are a lot easier to handle."

The Grade: Nothing substantive here, but that’s okay because EJ with his babies is adorable. B+.

Friday, February 8th, 2008

So the last names we’re currently going with are Horton and DiMera, respectively. At least until TPTB change their minds again.



“No, Mommy, I want to stay with Daddy. And those are some fugly pajamas you’re wearing.”



“Oh, he is cute, isn’t he?”



EJ actually sleeping on camera. Excellent. Now get going on that shower scene, TPTB.



Loved you responding to the baby remark, Good EJ. Keep it up! You really are just as funny as Evil EJ, you just make fewer jokes.



I need a DVD of this.



Okay, I didn’t actually watch any of Max’s surprise birthday party here, but this is exactly the kind of plot Days’ needs. Soaps are supposed to be escapist fantasies, and that means fun, entertaining events like parties.



Good EJ reading the paper?! Hmmm…I wonder what other Evil EJ traits will surface…heh heh heh.



I have to give James credit here. He’s always great with props, but he especially handles the food and drink in a believable way that few actors bother with. The attention to detail helps with my suspension of disbelief, and I really appreciate it.



“She’s not yours, EJ. Lucas is her father until TPTB reveal otherwise. Never mind that you’re her stepfather because they are totally downplaying that we’re still legally married right now.”



“Previously I’d just put up with your berating, but I found this hidden in the back of my suitcase.”





“What is up with all the shots through windows now? You can’t even see us!”
“Eh, Y&R again. Nick and Sharon spending time together during the summer of Cassie’s death in their house on the Newman Estate was all like this.”



“I’m sorry that I made you cry.” I’m not. Yes, Sami, Lucas is a moron, and EJ should point that out to you. You “love” a very, very stupid individual.





“Sherman, set the wayback machine to September 1st, 2006.”
“Yes, sir, Mr. Peabody!”



“Now, Sherman, we also need to stop at August 24th, 2006, before we return to the present.”
“Okay, Mr. Peabody!”



Can you say soulmates?



“My beautiful angel, I am so sorry about deceiving you and making you believe my wife was deceased.”
“And I’m sorry for fakin’ me death, raising our child alone, and never speakin’ with ye again.”



“Oh, Santo, I’ve missed yer lips on mine so much…but what about yer wife? Ain’t she up here in the Lord’s care as well?”
“That she is, but do not worry, my love. We will introduce her to your brother Shawn when he passes next week.”

The Grade:



Finally! Breakthrough! Santeen got a nice (if cheesy IMHO) sendoff, and the Ejami relationship was quickly reset to friends in a pleasing and organic manner. I loved the harkening back to Summer Ejami with the comforting, hugging, tea, talking on the couch, and stares. Prince Charming the White Knight is back! How long can Sami resist him? I was so surprised by this episode. Man, Days, you keep this up, and I won’t have anything to complain about. A.

Thursday, February 7th, 2008

“This expositional phone call is driving me nuts, Philip.”
“Me too, Lexie, but we have to recap the plot and reiterate that the DiMeras are no longer evil incarnate somehow.”

The Grade: Argh! The Phloe was okay, but still. D.

Monday, February 4th, 2008

“It’s a good thing your mother Celeste isn’t here or she’d totally ruin this whole close brother sister relationship we’ve manufactured in two episodes.”



“What’s happening to us, Lucas? You look like that construction worker from the Village People and I look like Gwen Stacy from Spiderman 3.”



Days, if you keep doing establishing shots and text like this, I’m going to have to conclude you actually have a budget somehow.



“If you follow my directions, she’ll be fine.” Um, Lexie…have you forgotten how you’re a really, really horrible doctor? Better put Kayla on speed dial, EJ.



“I’m going to move on with my life.” Yes, that’s the one of the positive upsides about being redeemed as Good EJ does not miss being Evil EJ. At least that makes one of us.

The Grade: I’ve always been pretty indifferent to Lexie, but I liked how Good EJ is not dwelling on the past and how he’s willing to be there for Ali even though he knows it could get emotionally difficult for him. B.

Friday, February 1st, 2008

“The facial hair? No, actually I thought there was some kind of legal loophole for dealing with pirates, but no such luck.”



“I can’t talk right now. Either I want to hide our true love from my rapist or I want to protect my new husband from seeing me speak with my ex, depending on what side you’re on.”



“You know those Cosmo articles that say never insult your guy’s family no matter how much he may rip on them? They’re a bunch of crap. Let me call Stefano a SOB again.”



“Static electricity is a bitch.”



“I just want you to know that I really, really regret following in my father's footsteps.” Ah, Good EJ…I don’t. I can’t. You were blindingly awesome as a villain, and I’ve always fundamentally disagreed with Days’ morality laws. If only this show would let you be Evil EJ and have your Samantha…but that wouldn’t be the power of redemptive love, now would it?

The Grade: This wasn’t bad, but it certainly wasn’t memorable either. C.